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Thursday, December 29, 2005


Well, here we are Dec 29....post strike (thank you MTA), post Christmas (thank you New Balance gym shoes) and pre New Year 2006; the year I vow to make sleep my #1 priority. I remember being a teenager, and my parents bellowing yells at me never wanting to get up for school. Now I know it's just part of my nature...to need sleep like a hybernating bear, or else my entire world falls apart.

Trip home to Illinois and Wisconsin was good. It's hysterical how when you first get back there, everything seems to be going in slow motion. My friend Kathleen was like 'Oh the traffic is bad today' as I stared at the trickle of cars moving like snails down 290. It was too short a visit, but I'm glad I came, and I am glad to be back too. I do have to say the bus trip up from Chicago to Appleton was more annoying than about 4 weeks worth of riding the New York subway system (and that's pretty bad too I spent four hours in a car last week from 59th to Brooklyn). An example of the characters are as follows: loud, obnoxious talking to everybody in sight 20 year old mother of two who just began her service in the Army, loud ghetto man talking incessesantly on his cellphone, bitter bus driver woman who wouldnt tell you what the next stop was, and crying hysterical teenage girl who's friends baggage made us 45 minutes late!...so much for the Christmas spirit. If Jesus is the reason for the season, I wish he would have taken this bus ride with me.

Went to the doctor to get checked up, and good news; he said my Cholesterol levels are 'below average' for cardiovascular disease, which I am thrilled about. That soymilk and whole grain cereal must be working.

On the career front, I will be starting rehearsals for THE BOOK OF DUN COW at Prospect Theater in Manhattan. It's a new work, a sort of allegorical tale about animals and status, and I'm really excited to be working with this group of people. I am going to continue working at my full time job at Clinique Creative, so hopefully I will not run myself to the ground. As we know from the above, sleep is my milieu, my muse. Got called in last week for Mark in the National tour of RENT. This is the third time I've been called in, cast me already geez. Going to a master class Jan 9, and I just reread CALLBACK by Ginger Howard Friedman, which was inspiring. I love the story in it where she mentions chatter with the casting staff is good but assume nothing, and that she chatted and whooped it up for 10 minutes one time auditioning for a Broadway musical. She never heard from them again.

In conclusion....um.....I think....*cough....okay I have nothing to say in conclusion. This is a blog, not the Constitution.;)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Visited the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island today. Was only the second time I have been there, the last time being over 10 years ago in college. Such a cultural cornucopia of stimulating history. There was one plaque that resonated, written on a display of immigrant wicker suitcases at Ellis Island read something like "as the men and women came to seek new opportunities in an unknown land." I thought, wow that is my life moving away from the Midwest to "seek new opportunities in an unknown land"..not quite as glamorous as coming from Poland or Eastern Europe mind you, but perhaps just as profound inside for me. I have a limited scope outside the United States. I have only been to London, and that was when I was 12 to meet Paul McCartneys brother (this is Gods truth--ask me the details sometime) so I don't think I had as much appreciation for it then as I would now. But being there really made me feel the appreciation coming to the land of the free in 1900. The procedures and the 2% sent back and the desire for more. We spend so much time trying to get ahead as Americans we forget that we are truly blessed just to be here. Just to be born here. Okay, I am sounding like Oprah magazine but hey, periodic patriotism is allowed. Especially during the Holidays. :) On a down note, I found our lady of liberty surprisingly short. You think of her as cascading into the skys, majestic and towering; but when standing beneath her she's about as tall as a 7 story apartment complex or a car wash marquee. Go figure.

Happy Thanksgiving friends...kick it up this year, have tofu turkey...mmmm.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Wanted to share two fun new links.

First film stills are up for THE COFFEE SHOP I did this summer. One above and click HERE for additional.

Happy Veterans Day.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Saw NORMAL Off B'way on Friday, an amazing piece of theatre with polished staging and a strong and powerful message. Check it out if you are looking for a great show to see in the coming weeks.


These are my thoughts this weekend. Life begets you to trust moving forward doesn't it? As I hung up the phone with my friend Cara inviting me to Thanksgiving the other day, I thought to myself..I have AMAZING friends here in New York. When I left Chicago 3 years ago, I remember a lump inside about leaving my comfort zone of friends, colleagues and relatives. I had fear about the change. But now I know I am meant to be here, and had I not left I would have missed out on the wonderful people that are part of my life here. The fear of uncertainty should never be enough from preventing you becoming your fullest potential and moving beyond your comfort zone. The lessons and experience of living in New York are invaluble to me. Everyone should live here once, it teaches you sooooo much. Life is what you make it I guess, and if you are where you are meant to be you feel it inside. So yes..I am blessed with some amazing people here, and I thank each and every one of you for being on my side. Yeaaa!

Learning alot at my new job as an Administrator in Clinique Creative for Estee Lauder. Am beginning work on my on-camera reel, that should be on my website eventually. I dont want to scimp here, I want a good one so I am shopping around.

I have discovered a trick..learned it from a guy in Iowa. I wash my hair every other day or sometimes two days. Makes your hair much more manageable..and saves you money on Shampoo...Heloise would be proud.

Peace out.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Well what's new Ganoos? Sunday, I went to Yonkers NY, land of Cornelius Hackl and Barnaby Tucker, to scope a Co Op via the Actors Federal Union for my friend whos on tour. These Co ops are special agreements with the Union financing 90% of them and my gord were they amazing. The town is beautiful, slanted hills, bricks streets all along the Hudson River. The advantage here is, my friend has asked me to live there if he gets it, so plush easy 20 minute train rides could replace my congested, often uncomfortable hair raising daily subway trips. We'll see. Saturday, I did a recording for my friends Marcus and Jesse who are promoting a show to a company in Germany. It was fun being back in the studio, I love the format so I cant wait for more of those opportunities. I am in my second week working for Estee Lauder Corporation for Clinique Creative. Not sure how I feel yet. I'm amazed that the voice inside still resounds loudly to choose the life of a performer and not a pension plan and benefits;) the older I get, the louder the voice is to perform. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Other thoughts zipping around my cranium are: Why doesnt EVERYONE realize that EVERYONE is working on an entirely different life plan with different personalities. It would be much easier on us if we could just accept that people are ALWAYS going to contrast and challenge who we are. It's a dance its a battle...keeping true to who you are and adjusting as needed to people that drive you nuts...by keeping a distance or engaging in neccesary interaction.

October is coming to a close, and how quickly my favorite time of the year comes and goes.

Monday, October 17, 2005



I saw Jason Mraz in concert tonight, absolutely AMAZING! He is an amalgam of musical genius. Not only is his voice strong and soaring, he is a lyrical master with such catchy rhythms you are in love instantly. I am officially a fan. I've always liked him but now I am a huge admirer. Another amazing artist opened for him, Raul Midon... I dont even know how to describe him, this amazing mixture of R & B, funk, pop, folk, jazz all with a technique on accoustic guitar that was riveting, like India Arie and Bobby Mcferrons love child. It was night to remember, and a reminder for us as artists to use our talents 110% to the full gamut God gave us... very inspirational to me.

Friday, October 07, 2005


Well, this one is going to be deep one. Celebrities: These are my thoughts on celebrity-om. My first year in New York, I craved a celebrity sighting. Amidst my first thrilling couple of weeks 2002 perusing the streets of Manhattan, I found nothing but a few familiar looking postal workers and a rotten apple core on the street ledge. However, this past year it has been nothing but. Celebrities on the street, celebrities at my shows, celebrities at the Starbucks. And this is what I have come to realize. The more I see them, the more the fine line between us gets thinner. I realize it really is nothing in theory. When I would daydream in High School in rural Illinois, I thought somehow these otherworld people had reached something beyond the realm of reality. That somehow becoming famous granted a worth more than my own. I know now I could truly become a celebrity, and in narrow terms, am one already really. The people living and working and breathing in quiet midwestern towns, or bare populated Iowa see something on the TV screen that if they were around all the time, like this, would understand to their core that these famous people are merely one who a camera or newspaper has observed in excess. That is it and it gives you nothing in exchange. BIG lesson.

In lieu of that, I worked at Bobbi Brown this week and met her, in all her celebrity makeup guru-ness. She was delightful...heres who I have cast my eyes upon as of late: Halle Barry, Nathan Lane, Laila Robins ( Planes Trains and Automobiles), some Broadway stars and who else can remember?

I walked by what I believe was a dead man on the street today...*sigh. Only in New York.

On the career front, got called in for Seymour for the National Tour of Little Shop of Horrors, had a commercial audition for Time Warner Cable and am auditioning for some films. Our cast of Nerds:// is in mourning post Nerds://. such an amazing experience. Here's a photo above:

Thursday, September 22, 2005

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This thought has been of particular inspiration to me...I have been overwhelmed by New York lately. SO many people on the subway, angry, disrespectful to space, no reverence really to others. And even if this is blind naivity or false hope, I miss the Midwest. There are days I just dont want to endure it. I remember a year or so ago I wrote how spiritually enlightening the subway is. However, when youth have never learned social manners, no awareness that the world is something we share, people with hate and misery in their eyes, blatant disregard for others space and your life, then enough is enough. Why does this seem so rampant in New York? I didnt notice this in Illinois or Des Moines. Is the Midwest truly a place that is graced and protected, or is it just in a bubble? Is it correct to state that life in the Midwest is better than New York, or at least tons more peaceful. I keep telling people that in comparison to Los Angeles I am glad I am here on the east coast, but it seems equally 'empty' here at times. My friend reminded me that Marianne Williamson says that these people have just forgotten who they truly are, that we all our unconditional love and it is our job to remind each other. But sometimes I simply see hatred and disregard. Are people just bred this way? I have moments too, however to be consumed with it. Ralph Waldo Emersons quote seems more relevant than ever.

And now the Hurricane in Texas..makes my problems seem unimportant. I have been going about my life blind really to Louisiana and Texas and I need to do something to help. Enough talk, and BE the solution to the problem. Lots on my mind today...

Monday, September 12, 2005


"A career is a race, and it's yours to win. Its not something that happens to you. You determine it's course. Not your parents. not your college career advisor. Not your master card balance. Not practicality. Not common sense. It's not what "they" approve of or what "they" tell you to do. Ultimately, it's up to you, and you'll win only by tapping into your passion, your desires, your humor, and your tenacity. It's your trip." ~Dreams into Action, Milton Katselas

“Strength of numbers is the delight of the timid. The Valiant in spirit glory in fighting alone”
– M. Gandhi

Sunday, August 28, 2005


Heres some great new links about NERDS://



http://www.broadway.com/gen/Buzz_Video.aspx?ci=517338

http://broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=4622

http://www.broadway.com/gen/general.aspx?ci=516744

I love this poem below by Emily Dickinson:

I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head
I felt About my Feet the Sea.
I knew not but the nextWould be my final inch --
This gave me that precarious Gait Some call Experience.
--Emily Dickinson

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Hey, heres some reviews from TREATY 321, which will close this week. Check out our final performances if you can Thursday at 3pm and Friday at 9:15pm. Good times.

NYTheatre.com review

Gothamist.com review



Monday, August 22, 2005

Oh New York...my body is missing being in a car in the midwest. The thing about New York is it is such a PHYSICALLY demanding city. Get up, walk to the subway, stand on the subway, hold your balance--out and UP the stairs and blocks and blocks to work. Walk to lunch. Walk back to the subway. You really get your workout daily here, although it is filled with smog. I often wonder if living in a car and getting a workout at the air filtered gym is a better option?

TREATY 321 opened last week, and it is very well done. The cast is enormously talented, and the director really knows his chops; the fine art of moments, bits, pacing and overall presentation.

Start rehearsals for NERDS tomorrow and I am thrilled.

Thoughts and quotes for this fine Monday:

"I was staring out my window at that beautiful barge with nothing to do, no one to speak to. Just a person, staring out the window. Can you understand what I mean when I say that as I allowed the feeling of lonliness to arise in me I felt a heartbreaking compassion, recognizing that every person everywhere throughout history has been subject to the very same loneliness I was feeling in that moment? I started to weep, with sadness and awe and grief and joy. I felt connected to the world in a new, different way, admiring the capability of the heart to hold all those feelings at once. Such strong feelings! And of course because it was MY heart, too how full I felt, and complete. This profound loneliness was in fact, exactly the opposite of what I'd always been afraid of.And once again, it yielded up a banquet of pleasure, unexpected and glorious."-Valerie Monroe

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


You wont catch me looking more macho than this folks. Me at the Mega M & M unveiling event at Grand Central Station.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


It's official. I got the role of Steve "The Woz" Wozniak in NERDS: A MUSICAL SOFTWARE SATIRE for the New York Musical Theatre Festival. Show will star Sean Dugan (OZ) Anthony Holds (Dracula) Jessica Snow Wilson (Little Shop of Horrors), Jeremy Ellison-Gladstone (Fantastiks) and ME! Details to come. Should garnish some much needed career attention for this 33 year old actor. :) Check out our article on Playbill
  • Here
  • Friday, July 29, 2005


    God speaks to me through my Ipod. :) It's true, I believe. When it's in Shuffle mode that is. It's like one of those rare haphazard horoscopes you read at whim. It's like the song choices coincide with how you are feeling, what you are grappling with presently. On the subway today, I noticed how each and every song was like a tapestry to my inner thoughts. No one can convince me otherwise. GOD SPEAKS to ME through the Ipod..Ipod mini...*ahem.

    I also had a Big Mac today, which I am somewhat ashamed of. I dont think I've had McDonalds in like a year especially since SUPER SIZE the Documentary came out. However, for some reason the Big Mac called to me today. No fries or soda or value meal. Just the Big Mac. $3.49 mind you (New York prices geez).

    Have a commercial audition for Fruit Wise Monday, callback for the NY Music Theatre Festival and up for CHUCKLEBALL again Off Broadway.

    Walking the streets of Manhattan is like an Atari video game at its highest level. Move here, dodge that, cross here, oops I bumped you, zig zag zig zag. :(

    Just finished Marianne Williamsons A RETURN TO LOVE. Thoroughly recommend it.

    Where is the love Manhattan?

    :)

    Thadd

    Thursday, July 21, 2005



    I got a fringe show at the Lucille Lortel theatre Off Broadway called TREATY 321 and have had two commercial auditions, for Doritoes and Febreeze. New York people on the streets are still lacking in the manners department, makes me worry for myself living here years and years...whats that sunscreen song lyric, "live in New York once but leave before it makes you hard?" True true. I got called in for NERDS at the NY Musical Theatre Festival and have been working for Beauty Bank at Estee Lauder. More later..

    "When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself." -The Course in Miracles

    Wednesday, July 13, 2005

    Well I've been back in New York for about three weeks now. Jeez being gone 6 months is a lot. Work is work.

    Its been difficult keeping my good manners I gained back in Iowa. It doesnt work quite as readily, because of the hustle and bustle of the city, a smile gets you more distrust than an introduction. But those people are there here in NY, like rare gems found on the riverfront. Working for Estee Lauder, which is a company I have been wanting to get into. Also something that has its element of stifling next to it. I also worked a promotional event with a company I've worked for Eventage Events, and I am slowly starting to audition again. Auditioning, after not doing it for six months, is also something you must re acclumate to. My first audition crashed and burn, I sang off key and in general was just not connected. Second was good so Eh thats ok, like I said just need to reacclumate. I have been called back for two things, a fringe show called TRAVIS TANNER and a film called THE REUNION.

    THE most amazing news is I now have a commercial agent on top of my legit one. Its a really good one, Talentworks and I am thrilled as on-camera is what I am more interested in at this point. Can't wait to see what develops from that.

    Peace and love to those victims of the London bombings...

    I read this quote and loved it

    "First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
    And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
    And then I was dying to marry and have children.
    And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work.
    And then I was dying to retire.
    And now, I am dying..and suddenly I realize I forgot to live."-ANONYMOUS

    Thursday, June 09, 2005

    Life truly is ups and downs isnt it? Have finished the run of FOREVER PLAID, and with it, huge lessons to be learned. In this contract, there was NO ONE to listen to the concerns of the cast, no one to really appreciate the gifts you bring. TRUE proof of the benefit of the union. I guess it's ridiculous to expect support in every contract, union or non union but how wonderful when it has been there in the past. A test in self preservation and endurance. What can you do? Aside from this, what an amazing city filled with wonderful people, deep in substance, love and integrity. The good with the bad I suppose. I see the lessons so clearly, and try to remain grateful.

    I am up for a couple of tours right now, and I am filming two independent films this summer; one back in Des Moines and another with Leospride entertainment in Kentucky. I am tossing around the idea of being in Chicago for the early part of the summer, and continuing working with my wonderful agent Renee in New York. There is always that struggle at the end of the contract, the reshuffling of your life. Again, "the actor must be comfortable with the uncomfortable."

    Finally get to see my family here in Appleton Wisconsin. Played Batgammon with the nieces today. I suck at it :)

    As promised, a shout out to the delightful Cindy Coakes, my personal heroine who informed me she reads my blog regularly. Thank you Cindy, this ones for you! :)

    Wednesday, April 20, 2005

    Ah as I head into my fourth month here in Iowa, things are a plenty...I havent journaled in forever-is anyone reading this except me? hee hee. Well whats new? I have been working out, enjoying the beautiful spring weather,just loving the people here in Iowa. I met Frankie Avalon over the weekend, the tour of GREASE was here and we hung with the cast. The show has been extended, and as Amber says "dont bite off the hand that feeds you." Lots on my mind...Been dating several people here, which has been quite enjoyable. I'm learning a lot about my patterns, expectations and living in the moment. Enjoying what each has to offer in the now as they say. I've been missing New York, my family and friends..but overall I am just great. I have become very spoiled with my structured life here, which in essence, is artificial, as once the contract ends I go back to my 'trying to act and be employed' life. But I have saved money and have even bought my very first laptop which I am thrilled about. Her name is Deliala the Dell :)The big thing I am learning is no matter how polished you believe your people skills are, you will always have to readjust to the gazillions of variance in people you meet, are working with etc. The world is turning at its own atlas, regardless of what I want or need it to be. Just being open to whatever lesson is there for you, whether its your level of patience, your need inside to be heard and validated, your insecurities...it's all a day by day process. And, as always the delicious elixirs of Starbucks continue to sustain me..thank you iced caramel decaf macchiato with whip :)

    Thursday, March 03, 2005

    "When the soul is caught up in rigid identification with others in the world, it is not satisfied. In every soul there is an inherent drive toward truth, an inherent desire to feel fulfilled, real and free. Although many people are not able to pursue this desire effectively, the impetus toward the realization of the self is in all of us; it begins with the first stirrings of consciousness and continues through life whether or not we are directly aware of it. This impetus spontaneously emerges in consciousness as an important task for the psychologically and spirtually maturing human being. As maturity grows into wisdom in an optimally developing person, this task gains precendence over other tasks in life, progressively becoming the center that orients, supports and gives meaning to one's life, ultimately encompassing all of ones experiences."

    -A. H. Almaas, The Point of Existence, p 16

    Sunday, February 13, 2005

    Well PLAID is just about to open and I am thrilled the rehearsal process is just about behind me..we in the cast call it FA PLA in honor of our stage manager calling I LOVE YOU YOURE PERFECT NOW CHANGE 'LOVE PERF'. I have really learned alot about myself with this rehearsal process. I know I dont want to keep doing this regional bouncing around thing. I've done my share, I've been 'successful'. It's now a matter of listening to what my heart is telling me. And mine is telling me I dont need to do stage shows, particularly MUSICAL theatre to express artistically. Dancing and moving and harmony and lines and details and mic stands...not so much for me I'm thinking. I want the platform to be able to express myself in my own way and through my own vision, not those of a staff and director and choreographer..I dont do so well learning every element of a show in 8 days anyway, I want more of the freedom to be do what moves me specifically, and be more choosy with what I perform in. I know PLAID will be fun, and I am looking forward to the run, but I am filled with some new and profound insights for when it is over.I really think this is it for me and regional work for a long time. New York will have to open up a new artistic niche for me. *sigh* I digress. :)

    Monday, January 24, 2005

    Well here I am in Appleton Wisconsin. Lots of toll way connections so you get the full gamut of driving thought time.

    Today on Oprah they were discussing Ruwanda and the unimaginably horrible things that are being done to women and children there. It truly made me emotionally distraught for the rest of the evening. Here, these people are going through inexplicable horror and I cant overcome my measly surmountable life issues.

    We all have something. People in africa and the horrible abuse and torture. The victims of the Tsunami in Asia. I wish I could just feel blessed all the time, especially with what they have endured. We are blessed imensly that we are merely born in America and can walk the streets. However our problems are OURS. Despite the vastness of others pains, ours is our own and it still hurts. What is to be done?

    Maybe if we could just understand that this may be our path in life, and that our goal is to let it pass through us, observed by us, but not feeding it. It is there to enlighten us to truly truly appreciate. It is what we 'assign' these thoughts that give us pain. The story of the boy who asked his father of the loving wolf and the evil wolf that lives within each of us, which wolf will take over, and to this the father answers: The one we feed the most.

    So that's my brain gaspacho today.

    I leave for Iowa this weekend to do FOREVER PLAID for four months! I'm excited about it, and again I feel blessed for the work and the experience. The acting profession remains however, not real life, and not what is really important. It is merely something you do, not who you are. Prayers to the people who need it.


    "And whatever yours labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."
    ~"Desiderata"

    Sunday, January 02, 2005

    Holy Happy New Year Batman! Here I am in Illinois packing Mom up for her big move Thursday. It's a bit overwhelming since I am someone who lives in New York with the basics and Mom has tons of things I want to purge like a makeover show. I'm glad I can be here for her though. Being back in the midwest is like a much needed spiritual medication. My friend Amber is back here too for this week, and last night we discussed how we feel like we are on a hamster wheel in New York: vying, running, pushing to get ahead, wherever that is, and when you get back here, you can breathe again. The fast pace of New York and Los Angeles, and all the cities where people are trying to 'make it' is not real life, real life is here in the smaller lands of the US. THIS is where people have their priorities straight and man do you lose it in New York. I suddenly realized how rude I was talking on my cell phone in a restaurant here. Oy! Thursday I was in Boston, Friday I was in New York and Friday afternoon I was here in Illinois. Wowsa, my life sometimes. This New Year I resolve to really try and trust God and trust my decisions and trust trust trust that I am being led where I need to be. Quotes for now:

    "Spend time with people who appreciate you. And show it with their words and actions"

    "Self love, my liege is not so vile a sin as self neglecting."- Shakespeare

    "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."-Booker T. Washington



    "