America's next top Blogger:

Here it is boys and girls, a new blog entry, a new month! October, the amazing fall and a big birthday for me on the 15th. I've been so inspired by the comedic brilliance of my friend Glennis's blog lately, she is so funny. Check her out you'll be an addict:

http://imaragingglesbian.blogspot.com/

Have any of you been watching all these reality talent type shows? Reluctantly last year I did get hooked on Americas Next Top Model thanks to friends oohs and ahh's over it. I don't know how I got hooked on this tv bologna. Well, considering I have like five channels on my tv, the options are slim pickin's.

Anyway, the other day watching the new season and I was amazed at the heaviness at which they set up these 'One of you is going home" moments. These girls weep, wail and have emotional breakdowns while Tyra and her possy leave every pinter pause and expectation blink full throttle, torturing these girls some no more than out of training bra's with their parental glances. It's a character judgement set up purposely for the eyes of the watching tv public, giving these girls the impression that this 'achievement' is what defines their worth, this progression on a fluffed television show is what makes them worthy as they proclaim suitcase in hand "I wont let this stop me! I know I'm a model!...separate of the fact that they just are here on this earth, and have been given life and beauty, a heart. What about that being enough?. This is what I am feeling so strongly about the entertainment industry, living here in New York its not just a joke-it's palpable on the streets you can see it and taste it. People vying to get ahead come hell or high water, to get that 'dream' no matter what it takes, to fight, kick and fight some more until somebody bleeds. You would think hearing about these things on TV, say in a 'join us next week when Blossom learns a valuble lesson about life" episode, would make them more enlightened…but it literally eats you up. Its kind of a sink or swim philosophy. I keep thinking I know I'm an artist, but THIS part, this trying to knock you down part, well I'll be damned if I'll swallow that pill. To trust God and the Universe more to just let you be- to see what other plans may be in store for you versus 15 minutes of fame. What's your integrity factor? How can you improve the world around you? What can you give? Get what you can get as you get it. I don't think we were put here to become America's next top whatever as the end all be all.Amen. Thoughts?

On a more lighter note and supportive of the tv, I have fallen in love with the new ABC show MEN IN TREES. Check it out, Fridays at 8pm. Could it be because it's the SATC writers?? And Anne Heche is charming and cute on it.

I went Samba dancing on the Hudson Pier with some friends last week. SO much fun, the eclectic mix of New York never ceases to amaze me (heres a photo of our samba clan on the Hudson Pier). I am going to being joining a friends group for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk around Prospect Park Oct 15th (My birthday) I'm excited about that. And finally, check out India Aries new CD on Itunes TESTIMONY VOLUME I LIFE & RELATIONSHIP and my friend DC Anderson's new cd I AM STILL. Download it all on Itunes--what did we do before I-tunes, I ask you all?

Happy Fall!

Transfusion of Happiness:

September! The fall has come. Ahhh the smell, the leaves, cool breezes, gap commercials (Daft punk was my favorite!) The ole blog. Now, when I type one, the posting has to be copied to myspace, friendster blah blah. But write it I shall and here are my musings for the fall, the most magical time of MY year.

If you are all wondering what’s up with me well I guess you can say I have been in a ‘recharging’ mode spiritually. Been very up and down lately, which could be our torrential downpours of rain and gloom. I have been limiting my auditions to my agent only which has been a pretty good decision. Got called in for HIGH FIDELITY on Broadway and have had commercials auditions for Dominoes, Spike TV and Comedy Central. Good for the audition pipes for certain. But surprisingly I’m not feeling any particular passion or drive at the moment. This palpable feeling of lethargy is something perhaps to be listened to rather than ignored. The last couple of shows I have done, I have felt zero to no excitement about. I am enjoying the focus on my on-camera auditions that’s true. I can’t help but trust that this time is necessary, there may be more important things brewing in my life then me in BYE BYE BIRDIE in Ohio or Oregon. I do have a very exciting film reading this Sunday, but I have to keep hush hush about that for the moment.

However my closest friend here, Erin Davie, who has been a blessing to me ever since I met her in 2003, has hit a huge milestone. She will be playing Young Edie on Broadway this fall in GREY GARDENS. Check this out:
http://www.broadway.com/Gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=535688
I’m so proud of my gal peep! Go see this, I’ll be there opening night.

I have been wanting to get out there and help others more. Volunteer, BigBrother, etc. Something. I need to make this happen and not procrastinate anymore. Maybe I should take an impromptu trip to Africa or somewhere. Something outside of myself.

I went to some Art Gallery openings with my friend Jesse yesterday. This was great fun. Every month near Chelsea, different artists unveil their new work to be auctioned, sold, etc…and you can pretty much stroll from one art gallery to the next seeing the best of New Yorks artists. And the best part, free wine! You can’t pass up free wine people. We were joined by some friends of Jesse, one who had a prosthetic arm. A bit into the evening, when asked how hard it was to enter a certain gallery, I said and I quote “I almost lost a limb in there!”…Sometimes I just don’t think before I speak, D-U-M-B.

And finally, I went to Lord and Taylor today to see SJP..also known as Sarah Jessica Parker. She was unveiling her new fragrance extension. I love her so, how beautiful she looked she will always be Carrie Bradshaw to me.

That’s it this month, rascally rabbits. Join me next blog entry when I speak of ‘Narcissists’…stay tuned it’s going to be a bumpy night.

Rewrite your script.

So...let it be heard throughout the land. I saw Meryl Streep in MOTHER COURAGE last night in Shakespeare in the Park by the Public Theatre. I don't even know if I can find the words to articulate how amazing she was....subtle, powerful and open. Such a nuanced and beautiful performer and woman. So great to see her up close like that! I would thoroughly recommend going to see this, for the overall experience too. We were in line at 5:30am that morning and had a blast waiting for 7 hours, on a blanket, in Central Park, eating, telling jokes, napping, the people. We met a psychiatrist and his son on one side, and Beano the singing Daschund on the other, a Regis and Kelly demi-celebrity. I'm not kidding, Beano and I enjoyed our own personal renditions of HAPPY BIRTHDAY and Christina Aguilera's GENIE IN A BOTTLE throughout the day. :) Only in New York can you see Meryl Streep and Beano the singing dog all for free. I love New York! (talk to me in a week).

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ‘the script we heard as a child’. I know I’ve heard this from Oprah to self help books, but this has hit me hard lately. Some profound analysis. I was talking on the phone with my Mom recently, and I realized how much I still want her attention and support. It’s like I will it to happen, she being the most influential and profound figure from my childhood. Do I carry this over into my adult relationships? What lies did I hear as a child? What were the lies you were told as a child that you now still believe is true? I mean really sit down with this one and think. We believe a lot of junk that is most likely not true and we're kind of floating about in our adult lives making decisions based on this in our careers, relationships, etc. The question is, what does God tell you about you? The trouble is, so often we can’t hear, can't distinguish what is our own instincts and what is the quiet whisper of something grander. Or sometimes the loud CLUNK over the head that wakes you up. To be really honest here, there are many times I don’t even believe in God as well. But I guess everyone has this time. There have been moments in my life where I know something bigger than me is present and at work. And times I feel hopeless, it's up and down. Missed accidents, interactions with people on the street or quiet reflection on a lakeshore. I like when I can stay in a place of gratefulness.... thats when life is splendid. Today, while having lunch with friends, my friend Maritza told us how her father has always preached "Keep God in the picture" and “love the people that are hard to love.” So extending this love is something we have to try. I find myself the most ‘judgmental’ here than anywhere else. It’s the sheer amount of people I guess. Maybe one of the reasons New York is difficult to find love, as people are always looking around the corner to find what they think is better instead of loving the one they're with. I just want to continue to try and grow, fall and get up, love, keep my priorities in order and remain grateful for life and the blessings already present.

Wanted to end with some favorite quotes I’ve read recently. I find them so inspirational, one from THE woman, my hero, Meryl :)

“We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss-we want more and more and then more of it. But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless; I am living…”
Marie Howe, from What the Living Do

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work, and ask the most and best of everybody else too. Don’t let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth--don’t let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency." –Meryl Streep

Cabrides, Crawfish and Cockroaches

I just spent last week in New Orleans opening WINE LOVERS. What a whirlwind and what an experience! From Crawfish to Moofalatahs to Seafood Gumbo, I was wined and dined (delicious food!) and definitely enlightened by this southern charmed mini paradise. I encourage all you bloggers to maybe take a moment and read on, as I can promise this to be a doozy of a blog.

After flying into New Orleans, we were greeted by a most delightful cabbie to our hotel, Paul. He talked about the personal effects of hurricane Katrina to his family and friends the entire ride, and I hungrily ate up each word. This man needed to tell his tale, and I needed to experience maybe just a bit of what he did through his storytelling. As we drove along the highway, you could see the leftover residual line on the highway cement walls from where the water line reached. Unbelievable.

The biggest thing I noticed was the overall sense of lackadaisical "lets just have a party" demeanor. A sort of drunk, country, college-frat boy vibe a fun French Bistro flavor in the air. In the French Quarters and downtown at least the sheer amount of parties and drunk people was crazy. Along with doing the show, we went to a number of wine events, scrumptious dinners and festivities, and I think I downed more Cabernet Sauvignon and Red Bicyclette Merlot than I ever have my entire life. And lets not forget Po' Boy sandwiches.

The only thing I want to say about the show was that it was the most challenging and frustrating memorization process I've had since doing WILL ROGERS FOLLIES years ago. But I think I delivered, which for the most part, I am pleased with. It was great to maybe introduce some people there to a premiere work and we all put a lot of hard work into it. My overall impression of discontentment with musical theatre still lingers though, and I really need to buckle down and examine my choices. But I digress...

Other Louisiana highlights...

As I was sitting in the dressing room, a HUGE cockroach (Louisiana water bug?) Casually climbed up and over my water bottle. I squealed like a 10 year old girl. Unbeknownst to me, Mr Coockaracha is a common mammal in New Orleans. Go figure.

Oh the characters we met. From the southern bar owners, the bums (or the "undesirables" as there are called there) to the majestic horses clamoring down the Boulevard with carriage and tourists in tow. And of course we cant forget: Miss Lisa..(see photo insert) a friend of our producer, she was beyond delightful...a blonde southern robust woman, with an infectious laugh, Delta Burke bravoondo and an open, physically affectionate demeanor ( she gave me a head massage at the bar!) She took us on a tour of Arnauds, the restaurant we had an amazing meal at, which weaved stories of the queen of the New Orleans festival, the extravagant gowns, the celebrities that have visited. A side note: My family has always known that I have a bizarre sort of clairvoyance for haunted areas and ghosts, and New Orleans was rampant with them. Almost every building we went into. I got the spooky heeby jeebies. (and cue on loud girl scream!)

And now to the most important leg of our visit: Our very delightful composer and music director arranged for our original cabbie Paul to give us a mini tour of Hurricane Katrinas devastation on our way to the airport. Although the water is gone, the effects remain. I felt such a perspective as we drove down each road with hundreds and hundreds of abandoned homes, a complete ghost town. Few inhabitants in ranshacked homes, and empty beautiful new homes as well, marked with government X's to indicate the dates the armed forces investigated them, lawns unmowed for a year and the faint yellow line on the front of each house indicating how far the water level came up. It was a beautiful day, sunny and bright.. no indication of the devastation this area had experienced less than one year ago. When we actually came upon the levee, the homes that were right in the path were completely destroyed, some cut in half, others just flood damaged beyond repair.

This is my life--it seems to put me exactly where I need at the right time to gain perspective. I'm typing this on the plane back to New York City. Am I ready to be back? Was I ready to experience New Orleans.---it was a profound trip as most trips are. I keep thinking of a phrase at the hotel written on the guest services book...""Travel should take you places"....words to live by. Thank you New Orleans.

Well here I am....mid rehearsal for WINE LOVERS (go to New Orleans May 22) mid working part time and searching SOHO stores for the occasional unique hat or beige socks. I haven't really been auditioning except for appointments here and there. I am thrilled my family is coming early July (first time here for Mom!) and I feel the Borough coffee shop writer in me bubbling and stirring verbage.

You know what? Central Park is beautiful..last week during my lunch break I went for a leisurely stroll through one of New Yorks famous landmarks Central Park by the 59th/Central Park Zoo entrance. It was a beautiful day of mid 60's, breezy and there wasnt too many people, a welcome break from 5th Ave and the hustle and bustle of tourists and shoppers...or is it hustlers? ;)

As I made my way through the plush entrances, and vending carts I found a cove about the river with a bridge and a brick over lay. I can see this from the 42nd floor where I work. It was breathtaking. Lo and beyold to my left, a flutist...my very own central park Stevie Wonder, floating beautiful tones into the crisp almost summer air. A magical surprise. He began with a Beatles tune. I stopped breathing and took it in:

"I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people. Ella Marigby Picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been;Lives in a dream.Waits at the window,Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.Who is it for?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?Father MacKenzie Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear;No one comes near.Look at him working,Nodding his socks in the night when there's nobody there.What does he care?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people.Ella Marigby Died in the church and was buried alone with her name.Nobody came.Father MacKenzie Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from her grave.No one was saved.All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong? "

New York is a lonely city indeed...it seems to heighten every emotion you have. All the millions of people and it can make one melancholy. Was he melancholy? Will I have Ellas fate when I die? He began to play OVER THE RAINBOW. Just then, a squirrel came up to me, stared me right in the eye and invaded my social bubble with a bravness that I was spiritually lacking at the moment. Brave rodent! Brave me?

I strode back to the office, perhaps a bit spiritually renewed....and the office doors greeted me; reluctant, I walked through...enriched a bit by park magic and The Beatles.

The Lights of Brooklyn:

Last night something awful happened...certainly the worst that has happened around here on 6th Ave in Brooklyn, and I've lived here mainly in this apartment for the last 4 years. I had just completed eating my delicious bowl of Kashi Oat Crunch, after having a delightful evening seeing the new Broadway musical THE DROWSY CHAPERONE...as the *crunch-crunch reverberated in my head and the warbling sounds of my Itunes on shuffle gently played, there came a bizarre sound from outside. The sound of a man howling. Being used to bizarre sounds in Brooklyn, I continued to eat my cereal and pitter on the computer. But it kept coming..over and over in succession. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I strained to see outside the kitchen window. On the apartment two buildings away, there was a man, no more than his early twenties, pacing and yelling on the roof. Extreme anger and pain was coming out of him. He then began throwing bricks or something down in the neighboring lawns. There was a woman's voice from below yelling, his mother from what I could hear, and they were arguing. "You never listen to me anyway maaaa"!!...he was either high or enraged or both. Was he going to kill himself I couldn't decipher? My best friend called and I asked him should I call the police? No sooner had this been said than, like a whirlwind, police cars were all around, and believe it or not, a helicopter floating above our apartment. Yes, a helicopter outside the window. Helicopters and cops and neighbors yelling, a proverbial Armageddon on 6th ave. It sounded like they shot something at him, (stun gun?) and I couldn't tell if he himself had a gun..and he became more erratic and paced, like a caged animal up there. I didn't stay in the window long out of fear a brick would go through ours, although not sure he could have thrown that far. The blaring light from the helicopter was beaming in our window like close encounters of the third kind and I didn't want to be a clear shot for him if indeed he did have a gun. So the neighbor-war continued, for about an hour, with me hiding in my room, a sort of tomb-like room that makes me feel like it would protect me from a nuclear holocaust. How did my roommate sleep through all this for gosh sake?

This was pretty scary. I have already been lamenting I need a vacation from New York...this may be a sign that a cruise or flight to Nashville is beyond necessary now. My friend DC says that love and peace brings up everything that is not like it...how do you bring peace and love to a situation where a madman is going to potentially kill himself or someone else by throwing himself off the building? They obviously found him a threat to society or else they wouldn't of flown a friggin helicopter to the sight. Is this the norm here? Man did I grow up in the sheltered suburbs of the Midwest.

Not sure what happened to the mystery roof man, because after an hour of this, like a sudden storm, all was silent outside...and I was left with my thoughts, anxiety and a sleepless night. The stress of life and pain causing someone to snap like this. Why does this feel so frightening? What stops any of us from snapping like this? And how much do I feel for this faceless man, atop the rooftop brewing over with pain...and him seeing no light at the end of the tunnel but the blare of a police helicopter lighting up the night sky in Brooklyn....

It's a jungle out there:

Okay, I havent updated my blog in a long time. I'm sure all you blog naysayers have been waiting on pins and needles for my latest squanderings (okay maybe only my friend Cara reads this but hey if you've touched one person you've touched the world...hee hee)
I often talk about New York, you think I would talk about something else for gords sake. But it is sort of an overbearing sibling who gets all the attention in the family (wait that would be me growing up I guess..sorry to my sister Denise. Just cuz I decided to be ON the stage..see if she would have just been an actor too...complete aside, but I've always had this reoccurring dream of Denise being a musical theatre actress and dazzling audiences as Polly in CRAZY FOR YOU...there would be no competition I would be thrilled to have a fellow Thespian sibling..and no my sister is not anything that rhymes with thespian....*cough) . But I digress...I have come to some huge conclusions about the insanity that is New York and what to be prewarned about if you are a newcomer. My thoughts are as follows:

Avoid Times Square, Union Square, Macy's Square...anything with Square in the title and intersections in the vicinity of Anything/Broadway. For some reason these areas are jammed to the hilt with MILLIONS of frenetic people, and attempting to move/walk forward is like an Atari game in it's final round where you are losing bad in an untimely manner with the chime sounding loudly any second. The last couple of weeks I have been aching for a vacation. I have to get out soon, to some deserted Island...where King Kong will snatch me up in a frenzy and protect me from big dinosaurs and waterfalls...and then eventually bring me back to the top of the Empire State Building in...NEW YORK CITY! NOOOOOOOOO!! ;)
Again I digress...
I have been starting to on-line date pretty extensively lately, and it has been very enlightening. I actually had TWO dates in one night recently...and what I learned from that experience is A) New York is a HARD city to date in. SEX AND THE CITY was written for a reason and that is because its damn true. And B) There has to be a spark there...a chemistry right away that you cant really determine from on line. I know this is kind of dumb and 19-year old minded but...nevertheless. Where is the Dr Phil theory that 'you have to be friends first' and love will grow from friendship? It's all relative and confusing...when does one finally grow up and not look for fireworks instantly? But it is great to be out there and dating and believing in something true, and the possibility that what you want is 'on its way to you' as you speak. I recommend online dating, it is very cathartic. And it's better than bars c'mon.
Yep yep yep....
So those are my Saturday musings and perplexed ponderings. Blogging is our map to the mind...woop!

"Rainy days and sundays always get me dooooown"- Oh, I know its Mondays. But doesnt Sunday fit better? Ah the late great Karen Carpenter...voice like spun silk.

Nothing much to report here on the Blog front. I have meeting many random people on the subway for some reason. And then having lengthy conversations. How strange, yet delightful.

Career news. I have a film audition tomorrow after work. And the TONK movie is still cruisin for financial support. Any offerings? New headshots are done (www.dcanderson.net for anyone interested, hes my dear friend very very affordable!) and my reel is going to be on the website very very soon.

Peace.

Celebrity Sightings by Thadd.

Okay, wanted to share one of my most exciting celebrity meetings to date. I met Richard Dreyfuss the other day! Due to the large snowstorm, most of the celebrities in Manhattan were forced to take public transportation. He was on the subway ramp can you believe it? Those who know me, know when it is a celebrity, someone I really love and admire, I HAVE to go up and say something without hesitation. And so I did. The conversation, though brief, was as follows:

Thadd: Excuse me, are you Richard Dreyfuss?

Richard: (slightly apprehensive of the freak named Thadd) Yess.

Thadd: I'm Thadd. I just wanted to tell you I'm a HUGE fan of your work, and you are such an inspiration to me. I love you!

(Huge high five handshake by THE Richard Dreyfuss with a big smile)

Richard: Thank you!

Thadd: Well, have a great day, so nice meeting you!

Richard: You too!

(Thadd faints from excitement)

Okay, I didn't really faint but next to Olympia Dukakis, who I met in November, this was one of my favorites. He was such a delight. I guess I am becoming a 'star gazer'..tell me no world.

I also saw Colin Cowie the other day outside my office. Big woop. :)

New York Times review for THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW!


The review from Talkin Broadway.

AND

American Theatre Webs review

Well, we have just opened THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW at Prospect Theater. Here is a link to the press we've gotten so far. I'll post any reviews as soon as they come out. First, as a reminder, each member of our cast gets 2 personal comps (aside from industry and AEA comps)so to my union friends, if you're interested in coming, you get in free with your card. The theater only seats 74 on the risers and an additional 11 people in the balcony, so it can fill up fast. It's a good show, with wonderful music and unique themes. I have to admit, it is exciting to be part of these NY premiere new works. One of the most amazing things was at our opening night party, there were almost ten students from Valparaiso University in Indiana who had DROVE up to see the show (thats right, drove). Walter Wangerin, who wrote the Award Winning Novel, is their professor, and he is unfortunately quite ill. In his support, they all came to see it opening night. AMAZING. It was great meeting them and sharing in their enthusiasm for the project.

But once again, I find myself introspective about doing theatre, mainly musical theatre. I talk about this alot, and am reminded about snippets in a great book I've mentioned before; SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES and the countless conversations I've had with my close friends. How BAD do you really want to do this? If you're unhappy what is the payoff and what is invested in this for your personally? The rehearsal process for DUN COW was exhaustive, mixed in with my full time work schedule, and lots of dancing, moving and positioning...by a great choreographer mind you (Got it? Keep it. Make sense? ;) however I KNOW, and have known for quite some time, I am someone who no longer wants to artistically express bouncing around the stage...I am NOT nor will I ever be a dancer, and I like that about my life and enjoy the peaceful moments more now anyway. I enjoy exercise and being able to CONTROL the pace of my human movement momentum ;) My dear friend Amber said when I first arrived, that New York really puts to the forefront HOW BAD do you really want to do this? EVERYONE is here to be an actor, and they are cut throat and determined..and often blind to the WHYS of why they have chosen this profession in the first place(insights from SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES). You need to examine why at some point. For me, I know I need to shift something here, I just need to examine a bit more...and I will!


Relating, things are moving forward with PLAYIN GOODE IN THE HOUSE OF TONK, the film I'm doing this spring. Cool thing is the original SHAFT Richard Roundtree has committed to it, and the director told me talks about Lawrence Fishburne making an appearance are possible. WOW. I play a sort of ghostly bartender. It's a great part I hope the financial revenue all comes through...we'll see. REALLY excited about it. And...excited to be in the peaceful 'non dancing' realm of da filmmaking.;)

And...I digress once again, February friends. Keep the whitelight burning.

Well, here we are Dec 29....post strike (thank you MTA), post Christmas (thank you New Balance gym shoes) and pre New Year 2006; the year I vow to make sleep my #1 priority. I remember being a teenager, and my parents bellowing yells at me never wanting to get up for school. Now I know it's just part of my nature...to need sleep like a hybernating bear, or else my entire world falls apart.

Trip home to Illinois and Wisconsin was good. It's hysterical how when you first get back there, everything seems to be going in slow motion. My friend Kathleen was like 'Oh the traffic is bad today' as I stared at the trickle of cars moving like snails down 290. It was too short a visit, but I'm glad I came, and I am glad to be back too. I do have to say the bus trip up from Chicago to Appleton was more annoying than about 4 weeks worth of riding the New York subway system (and that's pretty bad too I spent four hours in a car last week from 59th to Brooklyn). An example of the characters are as follows: loud, obnoxious talking to everybody in sight 20 year old mother of two who just began her service in the Army, loud ghetto man talking incessesantly on his cellphone, bitter bus driver woman who wouldnt tell you what the next stop was, and crying hysterical teenage girl who's friends baggage made us 45 minutes late!...so much for the Christmas spirit. If Jesus is the reason for the season, I wish he would have taken this bus ride with me.

Went to the doctor to get checked up, and good news; he said my Cholesterol levels are 'below average' for cardiovascular disease, which I am thrilled about. That soymilk and whole grain cereal must be working.

On the career front, I will be starting rehearsals for THE BOOK OF DUN COW at Prospect Theater in Manhattan. It's a new work, a sort of allegorical tale about animals and status, and I'm really excited to be working with this group of people. I am going to continue working at my full time job at Clinique Creative, so hopefully I will not run myself to the ground. As we know from the above, sleep is my milieu, my muse. Got called in last week for Mark in the National tour of RENT. This is the third time I've been called in, cast me already geez. Going to a master class Jan 9, and I just reread CALLBACK by Ginger Howard Friedman, which was inspiring. I love the story in it where she mentions chatter with the casting staff is good but assume nothing, and that she chatted and whooped it up for 10 minutes one time auditioning for a Broadway musical. She never heard from them again.

In conclusion....um.....I think....*cough....okay I have nothing to say in conclusion. This is a blog, not the Constitution.;)

Visited the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island today. Was only the second time I have been there, the last time being over 10 years ago in college. Such a cultural cornucopia of stimulating history. There was one plaque that resonated, written on a display of immigrant wicker suitcases at Ellis Island read something like "as the men and women came to seek new opportunities in an unknown land." I thought, wow that is my life moving away from the Midwest to "seek new opportunities in an unknown land"..not quite as glamorous as coming from Poland or Eastern Europe mind you, but perhaps just as profound inside for me. I have a limited scope outside the United States. I have only been to London, and that was when I was 12 to meet Paul McCartneys brother (this is Gods truth--ask me the details sometime) so I don't think I had as much appreciation for it then as I would now. But being there really made me feel the appreciation coming to the land of the free in 1900. The procedures and the 2% sent back and the desire for more. We spend so much time trying to get ahead as Americans we forget that we are truly blessed just to be here. Just to be born here. Okay, I am sounding like Oprah magazine but hey, periodic patriotism is allowed. Especially during the Holidays. :) On a down note, I found our lady of liberty surprisingly short. You think of her as cascading into the skys, majestic and towering; but when standing beneath her she's about as tall as a 7 story apartment complex or a car wash marquee. Go figure.

Happy Thanksgiving friends...kick it up this year, have tofu turkey...mmmm.

Wanted to share two fun new links.

First film stills are up for THE COFFEE SHOP I did this summer. One above and click HERE for additional.

Happy Veterans Day.

Saw NORMAL Off B'way on Friday, an amazing piece of theatre with polished staging and a strong and powerful message. Check it out if you are looking for a great show to see in the coming weeks.


These are my thoughts this weekend. Life begets you to trust moving forward doesn't it? As I hung up the phone with my friend Cara inviting me to Thanksgiving the other day, I thought to myself..I have AMAZING friends here in New York. When I left Chicago 3 years ago, I remember a lump inside about leaving my comfort zone of friends, colleagues and relatives. I had fear about the change. But now I know I am meant to be here, and had I not left I would have missed out on the wonderful people that are part of my life here. The fear of uncertainty should never be enough from preventing you becoming your fullest potential and moving beyond your comfort zone. The lessons and experience of living in New York are invaluble to me. Everyone should live here once, it teaches you sooooo much. Life is what you make it I guess, and if you are where you are meant to be you feel it inside. So yes..I am blessed with some amazing people here, and I thank each and every one of you for being on my side. Yeaaa!

Learning alot at my new job as an Administrator in Clinique Creative for Estee Lauder. Am beginning work on my on-camera reel, that should be on my website eventually. I dont want to scimp here, I want a good one so I am shopping around.

I have discovered a trick..learned it from a guy in Iowa. I wash my hair every other day or sometimes two days. Makes your hair much more manageable..and saves you money on Shampoo...Heloise would be proud.

Peace out.

Well what's new Ganoos? Sunday, I went to Yonkers NY, land of Cornelius Hackl and Barnaby Tucker, to scope a Co Op via the Actors Federal Union for my friend whos on tour. These Co ops are special agreements with the Union financing 90% of them and my gord were they amazing. The town is beautiful, slanted hills, bricks streets all along the Hudson River. The advantage here is, my friend has asked me to live there if he gets it, so plush easy 20 minute train rides could replace my congested, often uncomfortable hair raising daily subway trips. We'll see. Saturday, I did a recording for my friends Marcus and Jesse who are promoting a show to a company in Germany. It was fun being back in the studio, I love the format so I cant wait for more of those opportunities. I am in my second week working for Estee Lauder Corporation for Clinique Creative. Not sure how I feel yet. I'm amazed that the voice inside still resounds loudly to choose the life of a performer and not a pension plan and benefits;) the older I get, the louder the voice is to perform. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Other thoughts zipping around my cranium are: Why doesnt EVERYONE realize that EVERYONE is working on an entirely different life plan with different personalities. It would be much easier on us if we could just accept that people are ALWAYS going to contrast and challenge who we are. It's a dance its a battle...keeping true to who you are and adjusting as needed to people that drive you nuts...by keeping a distance or engaging in neccesary interaction.

October is coming to a close, and how quickly my favorite time of the year comes and goes.

I saw Jason Mraz in concert tonight, absolutely AMAZING! He is an amalgam of musical genius. Not only is his voice strong and soaring, he is a lyrical master with such catchy rhythms you are in love instantly. I am officially a fan. I've always liked him but now I am a huge admirer. Another amazing artist opened for him, Raul Midon... I dont even know how to describe him, this amazing mixture of R & B, funk, pop, folk, jazz all with a technique on accoustic guitar that was riveting, like India Arie and Bobby Mcferrons love child. It was night to remember, and a reminder for us as artists to use our talents 110% to the full gamut God gave us... very inspirational to me.

Well, this one is going to be deep one. Celebrities: These are my thoughts on celebrity-om. My first year in New York, I craved a celebrity sighting. Amidst my first thrilling couple of weeks 2002 perusing the streets of Manhattan, I found nothing but a few familiar looking postal workers and a rotten apple core on the street ledge. However, this past year it has been nothing but. Celebrities on the street, celebrities at my shows, celebrities at the Starbucks. And this is what I have come to realize. The more I see them, the more the fine line between us gets thinner. I realize it really is nothing in theory. When I would daydream in High School in rural Illinois, I thought somehow these otherworld people had reached something beyond the realm of reality. That somehow becoming famous granted a worth more than my own. I know now I could truly become a celebrity, and in narrow terms, am one already really. The people living and working and breathing in quiet midwestern towns, or bare populated Iowa see something on the TV screen that if they were around all the time, like this, would understand to their core that these famous people are merely one who a camera or newspaper has observed in excess. That is it and it gives you nothing in exchange. BIG lesson.

In lieu of that, I worked at Bobbi Brown this week and met her, in all her celebrity makeup guru-ness. She was delightful...heres who I have cast my eyes upon as of late: Halle Barry, Nathan Lane, Laila Robins ( Planes Trains and Automobiles), some Broadway stars and who else can remember?

I walked by what I believe was a dead man on the street today...*sigh. Only in New York.

On the career front, got called in for Seymour for the National Tour of Little Shop of Horrors, had a commercial audition for Time Warner Cable and am auditioning for some films. Our cast of Nerds:// is in mourning post Nerds://. such an amazing experience. Here's a photo above:

Some reviews of NERDS:

http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm/story/6793

http://theater2.nytimes.com/mem/theater/treview.html?res=9C0DEEDE1430F937A1575AC0A9639C8B63

http://www.talkinbroadway.com/ob/09_26_05.html

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This thought has been of particular inspiration to me...I have been overwhelmed by New York lately. SO many people on the subway, angry, disrespectful to space, no reverence really to others. And even if this is blind naivity or false hope, I miss the Midwest. There are days I just dont want to endure it. I remember a year or so ago I wrote how spiritually enlightening the subway is. However, when youth have never learned social manners, no awareness that the world is something we share, people with hate and misery in their eyes, blatant disregard for others space and your life, then enough is enough. Why does this seem so rampant in New York? I didnt notice this in Illinois or Des Moines. Is the Midwest truly a place that is graced and protected, or is it just in a bubble? Is it correct to state that life in the Midwest is better than New York, or at least tons more peaceful. I keep telling people that in comparison to Los Angeles I am glad I am here on the east coast, but it seems equally 'empty' here at times. My friend reminded me that Marianne Williamson says that these people have just forgotten who they truly are, that we all our unconditional love and it is our job to remind each other. But sometimes I simply see hatred and disregard. Are people just bred this way? I have moments too, however to be consumed with it. Ralph Waldo Emersons quote seems more relevant than ever.

And now the Hurricane in Texas..makes my problems seem unimportant. I have been going about my life blind really to Louisiana and Texas and I need to do something to help. Enough talk, and BE the solution to the problem. Lots on my mind today...