Happy Holidays Blogmeisters! So it’s been an eventful December I must say. I am going home to Appleton, Wisconsin Dec 20-29 which I am beyond looking forward to. To think of getting out of the hustle and bustle oh how good it will be for the soul. Peaceful streets, Midwestern friendliness, target, no sirens. And Mom’s cooking! You never get too old for Mom’s cooking. She makes the best macaroni salad and lasagna that’s all I’m gonna say.

So here’s my December Derailings……(parooooooooooooom): Its been cold here in the 30’s, its funny to hear fellow New Yorkers running around saying how cold it is. I grew up in Chicago people, where some days it gets so cold your eyelashes freeze. It’s balmy! While at my friends show last week, I had a chance run in with a fellow performer named Max. Turns out we both played the same role in NERDS A MUSICAL SOFTWARE SATIRE. Him a year before elsewhere, me at the New York Music Theatre Festival 2005. It was so bizarre we both couldn’t believe the chance meeting. This on the curtails of our beloved show opening with a third cast in Philly in Jan. That’s the biz I suppose. Heres a photo of us!









Went skating with Erin at a GREY GARDENS party the other day at Chelsea Piers. Matthew Broderick was skating next to me (me skating being three hobbling circles around the rink whilst fearing my untimely demise). Quite a handsome looking chap, AND he is married to SJP so good thing she didn’t make an appearance or I may have hyperventilated. Photo op 2!









I spent all day on a National Cingular shoot last week, where I was not used unfortunately. However, I was paid, ate well, got to see Mount Claire New Jersey and I always enjoy being on film set. I really enjoy the process, it can be monotonous, but I enjoy its peaceful detail. What was also interesting were how people rent out their houses for film crews. It’s pretty much ransacked. Here’s me in my trailer…ok it wasn’t mine specifically but it could happen!



Have you noticed I'm a big fan of using several periods in succession like this..........?? Why is this I wonder?


You know what remains a ‘challenge’ for me (well go with that word--challenge) is my simultaneous love and hate of New York PARTICULARY the subway. I was telling my friend Jesse that living here has almost ruined me to live anywhere else really…there’s just so much culture, going out, shows, people, restaurants; all my way of life now. I take it for granted really. But it drives me insane too. This being as I am just about to embark on my trip back home, havent been home in a year! I am looking forward to the boredom, being nowhere- but at the same time apprehensive since I am a conditioned city boy. But oy the subway where every crazy kook can exist and ‘hesitation is death’ every day. "Homeless person yelling, I feel for you but I’m tired and cranky this morning can you just speak in hushed tones?," "Um excuse me lady I’m sorry my bag bumped your leg but this is New York here, there’s like 4 billion people here, so I’m doing my best with the 0 inches of space I have thanks so much"-- "Oh thank you vomit on the floor, I’m so glad I stepped in you and of course you too dear old friends pee, boogers or some other unknown liquid right where I sat”…(hanging my head in shame to what I have now vented) It’s like I am fully actualized here but have also made a couple of steps back in the patience and peace department. Who can figure it all out? Thank you India Arie for your musical wisdom and inspiration to get me through another day on the subway. Thank you Gandhi for reminding us “Be the change you want to see in the world” This I will try to remember this holiday season on the subway. On the streets. In my life.

And those-are my Holiday conundrums...Chrisma’ Hana Rama Kan Dona Kwanza my blog friends. May this season be blessed and stress free to you and yours.

Hello Blog Friends,

Okay those “Stress Tests” that you see set up in the subway and on the streets with odd machines attached saying come test your stress level. Um avoid avoid avoid. I sat down this past week at one, and the questions she was asking and the way she was encouraging something that wasn’t there led me to one big conclusion. Fraud City/ Fishy fishy fishy. I said “Okay I’m done!” to her weird way of not having a dialogue with me but rather egging some reaction on, and bolted out of the chair. Never gone do that again. I was probably mugged secretly.

I am becoming aware of that I am a bit obsessive compulsive about organization. Albeit me becoming a professional organizer, this is a bit weird. And it also doesn’t help that my roommate is INSANELY obsessive compulsive (sorry J!). But who am I too point when I have similar traits. I move things around, I like to make sure everything is put away. If I’m left at home without having to work or anything to do its organization central. I’ll fold and put coats and clothes away, clean, organize drawers, make sure products in the medicine cabinet are facing forward. It’s weird. Granted, I do let things get messy too. Especially if I'm having a busy week. But eventually, one day I get to it, and once again I organize. I wash my hands a lot too I don’t like that 'sticky hand' feeling. I walked by this kid the other day with an ice cream cone and he had let the entire thing sort of goop and smear all over his face. I almost passed out at the sticky sight. Where’s a handi wipe when you need one kids? I kind of want to be a macho messy man who drops clothes on the floor, spits and never cleans the bathroom. Am I truly set in my ways? I do leave dishes in the sink, and hate doing them really. But I do them eventually usually within a day. Okay maybe 6 hours. Macho man-dom here I come!

I walked the breast cancer awareness walk on Oct 15th (my Birthday). It was a ‘walk in the park’” as they say, 3 miles gone in a whoosh and money for a good cause. Felt good.

My TV spot a couple of weeks ago on Nick@Nite went so well. Good times. It’s amazing what they can do editing wise, as filming it at times can feel stagnant. I was so pleased with it and with the supportive friends and family who made the effort to watch it thank you!

Met a really cool composer named Bill. He lives in the upper east side in the most amazing condo and such respect I have for his artistic endeavors. Went to a rather crammed party with him last week, oy the small apartments here. So many amazing people living here wow.

New York New York…good with the bad.

Boy the other day I was a major New York asshole. When waiting for a bunch of tourists to figure out how to use their metra cards, I brusquely said “Can I get through I have somewhere to be!?”…can you believe that? New York makes you crazy some days, and I have officially become ‘wacko’. Gotta figure out how to not be like this again. It doesn’t help that it never slows down and that the payphone downstairs outside my apartment building has now become a crack phone for shady characters to use late at night. I digress.

Have I mentioned I’d like to meet Barack Obama?

And finally:

Simply Saline has become my new best friend...go to Walgreens and get the magic.

Holy Tuna Noodle Casserole! I’m Thadd the Sticky Finger man and that’s a wrap.

America's next top Blogger:

Here it is boys and girls, a new blog entry, a new month! October, the amazing fall and a big birthday for me on the 15th. I've been so inspired by the comedic brilliance of my friend Glennis's blog lately, she is so funny. Check her out you'll be an addict:

http://imaragingglesbian.blogspot.com/

Have any of you been watching all these reality talent type shows? Reluctantly last year I did get hooked on Americas Next Top Model thanks to friends oohs and ahh's over it. I don't know how I got hooked on this tv bologna. Well, considering I have like five channels on my tv, the options are slim pickin's.

Anyway, the other day watching the new season and I was amazed at the heaviness at which they set up these 'One of you is going home" moments. These girls weep, wail and have emotional breakdowns while Tyra and her possy leave every pinter pause and expectation blink full throttle, torturing these girls some no more than out of training bra's with their parental glances. It's a character judgement set up purposely for the eyes of the watching tv public, giving these girls the impression that this 'achievement' is what defines their worth, this progression on a fluffed television show is what makes them worthy as they proclaim suitcase in hand "I wont let this stop me! I know I'm a model!...separate of the fact that they just are here on this earth, and have been given life and beauty, a heart. What about that being enough?. This is what I am feeling so strongly about the entertainment industry, living here in New York its not just a joke-it's palpable on the streets you can see it and taste it. People vying to get ahead come hell or high water, to get that 'dream' no matter what it takes, to fight, kick and fight some more until somebody bleeds. You would think hearing about these things on TV, say in a 'join us next week when Blossom learns a valuble lesson about life" episode, would make them more enlightened…but it literally eats you up. Its kind of a sink or swim philosophy. I keep thinking I know I'm an artist, but THIS part, this trying to knock you down part, well I'll be damned if I'll swallow that pill. To trust God and the Universe more to just let you be- to see what other plans may be in store for you versus 15 minutes of fame. What's your integrity factor? How can you improve the world around you? What can you give? Get what you can get as you get it. I don't think we were put here to become America's next top whatever as the end all be all.Amen. Thoughts?

On a more lighter note and supportive of the tv, I have fallen in love with the new ABC show MEN IN TREES. Check it out, Fridays at 8pm. Could it be because it's the SATC writers?? And Anne Heche is charming and cute on it.

I went Samba dancing on the Hudson Pier with some friends last week. SO much fun, the eclectic mix of New York never ceases to amaze me (heres a photo of our samba clan on the Hudson Pier). I am going to being joining a friends group for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk around Prospect Park Oct 15th (My birthday) I'm excited about that. And finally, check out India Aries new CD on Itunes TESTIMONY VOLUME I LIFE & RELATIONSHIP and my friend DC Anderson's new cd I AM STILL. Download it all on Itunes--what did we do before I-tunes, I ask you all?

Happy Fall!

Transfusion of Happiness:

September! The fall has come. Ahhh the smell, the leaves, cool breezes, gap commercials (Daft punk was my favorite!) The ole blog. Now, when I type one, the posting has to be copied to myspace, friendster blah blah. But write it I shall and here are my musings for the fall, the most magical time of MY year.

If you are all wondering what’s up with me well I guess you can say I have been in a ‘recharging’ mode spiritually. Been very up and down lately, which could be our torrential downpours of rain and gloom. I have been limiting my auditions to my agent only which has been a pretty good decision. Got called in for HIGH FIDELITY on Broadway and have had commercials auditions for Dominoes, Spike TV and Comedy Central. Good for the audition pipes for certain. But surprisingly I’m not feeling any particular passion or drive at the moment. This palpable feeling of lethargy is something perhaps to be listened to rather than ignored. The last couple of shows I have done, I have felt zero to no excitement about. I am enjoying the focus on my on-camera auditions that’s true. I can’t help but trust that this time is necessary, there may be more important things brewing in my life then me in BYE BYE BIRDIE in Ohio or Oregon. I do have a very exciting film reading this Sunday, but I have to keep hush hush about that for the moment.

However my closest friend here, Erin Davie, who has been a blessing to me ever since I met her in 2003, has hit a huge milestone. She will be playing Young Edie on Broadway this fall in GREY GARDENS. Check this out:
http://www.broadway.com/Gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=535688
I’m so proud of my gal peep! Go see this, I’ll be there opening night.

I have been wanting to get out there and help others more. Volunteer, BigBrother, etc. Something. I need to make this happen and not procrastinate anymore. Maybe I should take an impromptu trip to Africa or somewhere. Something outside of myself.

I went to some Art Gallery openings with my friend Jesse yesterday. This was great fun. Every month near Chelsea, different artists unveil their new work to be auctioned, sold, etc…and you can pretty much stroll from one art gallery to the next seeing the best of New Yorks artists. And the best part, free wine! You can’t pass up free wine people. We were joined by some friends of Jesse, one who had a prosthetic arm. A bit into the evening, when asked how hard it was to enter a certain gallery, I said and I quote “I almost lost a limb in there!”…Sometimes I just don’t think before I speak, D-U-M-B.

And finally, I went to Lord and Taylor today to see SJP..also known as Sarah Jessica Parker. She was unveiling her new fragrance extension. I love her so, how beautiful she looked she will always be Carrie Bradshaw to me.

That’s it this month, rascally rabbits. Join me next blog entry when I speak of ‘Narcissists’…stay tuned it’s going to be a bumpy night.

Rewrite your script.

So...let it be heard throughout the land. I saw Meryl Streep in MOTHER COURAGE last night in Shakespeare in the Park by the Public Theatre. I don't even know if I can find the words to articulate how amazing she was....subtle, powerful and open. Such a nuanced and beautiful performer and woman. So great to see her up close like that! I would thoroughly recommend going to see this, for the overall experience too. We were in line at 5:30am that morning and had a blast waiting for 7 hours, on a blanket, in Central Park, eating, telling jokes, napping, the people. We met a psychiatrist and his son on one side, and Beano the singing Daschund on the other, a Regis and Kelly demi-celebrity. I'm not kidding, Beano and I enjoyed our own personal renditions of HAPPY BIRTHDAY and Christina Aguilera's GENIE IN A BOTTLE throughout the day. :) Only in New York can you see Meryl Streep and Beano the singing dog all for free. I love New York! (talk to me in a week).

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ‘the script we heard as a child’. I know I’ve heard this from Oprah to self help books, but this has hit me hard lately. Some profound analysis. I was talking on the phone with my Mom recently, and I realized how much I still want her attention and support. It’s like I will it to happen, she being the most influential and profound figure from my childhood. Do I carry this over into my adult relationships? What lies did I hear as a child? What were the lies you were told as a child that you now still believe is true? I mean really sit down with this one and think. We believe a lot of junk that is most likely not true and we're kind of floating about in our adult lives making decisions based on this in our careers, relationships, etc. The question is, what does God tell you about you? The trouble is, so often we can’t hear, can't distinguish what is our own instincts and what is the quiet whisper of something grander. Or sometimes the loud CLUNK over the head that wakes you up. To be really honest here, there are many times I don’t even believe in God as well. But I guess everyone has this time. There have been moments in my life where I know something bigger than me is present and at work. And times I feel hopeless, it's up and down. Missed accidents, interactions with people on the street or quiet reflection on a lakeshore. I like when I can stay in a place of gratefulness.... thats when life is splendid. Today, while having lunch with friends, my friend Maritza told us how her father has always preached "Keep God in the picture" and “love the people that are hard to love.” So extending this love is something we have to try. I find myself the most ‘judgmental’ here than anywhere else. It’s the sheer amount of people I guess. Maybe one of the reasons New York is difficult to find love, as people are always looking around the corner to find what they think is better instead of loving the one they're with. I just want to continue to try and grow, fall and get up, love, keep my priorities in order and remain grateful for life and the blessings already present.

Wanted to end with some favorite quotes I’ve read recently. I find them so inspirational, one from THE woman, my hero, Meryl :)

“We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss-we want more and more and then more of it. But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless; I am living…”
Marie Howe, from What the Living Do

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work, and ask the most and best of everybody else too. Don’t let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth--don’t let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency." –Meryl Streep

Cabrides, Crawfish and Cockroaches

I just spent last week in New Orleans opening WINE LOVERS. What a whirlwind and what an experience! From Crawfish to Moofalatahs to Seafood Gumbo, I was wined and dined (delicious food!) and definitely enlightened by this southern charmed mini paradise. I encourage all you bloggers to maybe take a moment and read on, as I can promise this to be a doozy of a blog.

After flying into New Orleans, we were greeted by a most delightful cabbie to our hotel, Paul. He talked about the personal effects of hurricane Katrina to his family and friends the entire ride, and I hungrily ate up each word. This man needed to tell his tale, and I needed to experience maybe just a bit of what he did through his storytelling. As we drove along the highway, you could see the leftover residual line on the highway cement walls from where the water line reached. Unbelievable.

The biggest thing I noticed was the overall sense of lackadaisical "lets just have a party" demeanor. A sort of drunk, country, college-frat boy vibe a fun French Bistro flavor in the air. In the French Quarters and downtown at least the sheer amount of parties and drunk people was crazy. Along with doing the show, we went to a number of wine events, scrumptious dinners and festivities, and I think I downed more Cabernet Sauvignon and Red Bicyclette Merlot than I ever have my entire life. And lets not forget Po' Boy sandwiches.

The only thing I want to say about the show was that it was the most challenging and frustrating memorization process I've had since doing WILL ROGERS FOLLIES years ago. But I think I delivered, which for the most part, I am pleased with. It was great to maybe introduce some people there to a premiere work and we all put a lot of hard work into it. My overall impression of discontentment with musical theatre still lingers though, and I really need to buckle down and examine my choices. But I digress...

Other Louisiana highlights...

As I was sitting in the dressing room, a HUGE cockroach (Louisiana water bug?) Casually climbed up and over my water bottle. I squealed like a 10 year old girl. Unbeknownst to me, Mr Coockaracha is a common mammal in New Orleans. Go figure.

Oh the characters we met. From the southern bar owners, the bums (or the "undesirables" as there are called there) to the majestic horses clamoring down the Boulevard with carriage and tourists in tow. And of course we cant forget: Miss Lisa..(see photo insert) a friend of our producer, she was beyond delightful...a blonde southern robust woman, with an infectious laugh, Delta Burke bravoondo and an open, physically affectionate demeanor ( she gave me a head massage at the bar!) She took us on a tour of Arnauds, the restaurant we had an amazing meal at, which weaved stories of the queen of the New Orleans festival, the extravagant gowns, the celebrities that have visited. A side note: My family has always known that I have a bizarre sort of clairvoyance for haunted areas and ghosts, and New Orleans was rampant with them. Almost every building we went into. I got the spooky heeby jeebies. (and cue on loud girl scream!)

And now to the most important leg of our visit: Our very delightful composer and music director arranged for our original cabbie Paul to give us a mini tour of Hurricane Katrinas devastation on our way to the airport. Although the water is gone, the effects remain. I felt such a perspective as we drove down each road with hundreds and hundreds of abandoned homes, a complete ghost town. Few inhabitants in ranshacked homes, and empty beautiful new homes as well, marked with government X's to indicate the dates the armed forces investigated them, lawns unmowed for a year and the faint yellow line on the front of each house indicating how far the water level came up. It was a beautiful day, sunny and bright.. no indication of the devastation this area had experienced less than one year ago. When we actually came upon the levee, the homes that were right in the path were completely destroyed, some cut in half, others just flood damaged beyond repair.

This is my life--it seems to put me exactly where I need at the right time to gain perspective. I'm typing this on the plane back to New York City. Am I ready to be back? Was I ready to experience New Orleans.---it was a profound trip as most trips are. I keep thinking of a phrase at the hotel written on the guest services book...""Travel should take you places"....words to live by. Thank you New Orleans.

Well here I am....mid rehearsal for WINE LOVERS (go to New Orleans May 22) mid working part time and searching SOHO stores for the occasional unique hat or beige socks. I haven't really been auditioning except for appointments here and there. I am thrilled my family is coming early July (first time here for Mom!) and I feel the Borough coffee shop writer in me bubbling and stirring verbage.

You know what? Central Park is beautiful..last week during my lunch break I went for a leisurely stroll through one of New Yorks famous landmarks Central Park by the 59th/Central Park Zoo entrance. It was a beautiful day of mid 60's, breezy and there wasnt too many people, a welcome break from 5th Ave and the hustle and bustle of tourists and shoppers...or is it hustlers? ;)

As I made my way through the plush entrances, and vending carts I found a cove about the river with a bridge and a brick over lay. I can see this from the 42nd floor where I work. It was breathtaking. Lo and beyold to my left, a flutist...my very own central park Stevie Wonder, floating beautiful tones into the crisp almost summer air. A magical surprise. He began with a Beatles tune. I stopped breathing and took it in:

"I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people. Ella Marigby Picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been;Lives in a dream.Waits at the window,Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.Who is it for?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?Father MacKenzie Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear;No one comes near.Look at him working,Nodding his socks in the night when there's nobody there.What does he care?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people.Ella Marigby Died in the church and was buried alone with her name.Nobody came.Father MacKenzie Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from her grave.No one was saved.All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong? "

New York is a lonely city indeed...it seems to heighten every emotion you have. All the millions of people and it can make one melancholy. Was he melancholy? Will I have Ellas fate when I die? He began to play OVER THE RAINBOW. Just then, a squirrel came up to me, stared me right in the eye and invaded my social bubble with a bravness that I was spiritually lacking at the moment. Brave rodent! Brave me?

I strode back to the office, perhaps a bit spiritually renewed....and the office doors greeted me; reluctant, I walked through...enriched a bit by park magic and The Beatles.

The Lights of Brooklyn:

Last night something awful happened...certainly the worst that has happened around here on 6th Ave in Brooklyn, and I've lived here mainly in this apartment for the last 4 years. I had just completed eating my delicious bowl of Kashi Oat Crunch, after having a delightful evening seeing the new Broadway musical THE DROWSY CHAPERONE...as the *crunch-crunch reverberated in my head and the warbling sounds of my Itunes on shuffle gently played, there came a bizarre sound from outside. The sound of a man howling. Being used to bizarre sounds in Brooklyn, I continued to eat my cereal and pitter on the computer. But it kept coming..over and over in succession. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I strained to see outside the kitchen window. On the apartment two buildings away, there was a man, no more than his early twenties, pacing and yelling on the roof. Extreme anger and pain was coming out of him. He then began throwing bricks or something down in the neighboring lawns. There was a woman's voice from below yelling, his mother from what I could hear, and they were arguing. "You never listen to me anyway maaaa"!!...he was either high or enraged or both. Was he going to kill himself I couldn't decipher? My best friend called and I asked him should I call the police? No sooner had this been said than, like a whirlwind, police cars were all around, and believe it or not, a helicopter floating above our apartment. Yes, a helicopter outside the window. Helicopters and cops and neighbors yelling, a proverbial Armageddon on 6th ave. It sounded like they shot something at him, (stun gun?) and I couldn't tell if he himself had a gun..and he became more erratic and paced, like a caged animal up there. I didn't stay in the window long out of fear a brick would go through ours, although not sure he could have thrown that far. The blaring light from the helicopter was beaming in our window like close encounters of the third kind and I didn't want to be a clear shot for him if indeed he did have a gun. So the neighbor-war continued, for about an hour, with me hiding in my room, a sort of tomb-like room that makes me feel like it would protect me from a nuclear holocaust. How did my roommate sleep through all this for gosh sake?

This was pretty scary. I have already been lamenting I need a vacation from New York...this may be a sign that a cruise or flight to Nashville is beyond necessary now. My friend DC says that love and peace brings up everything that is not like it...how do you bring peace and love to a situation where a madman is going to potentially kill himself or someone else by throwing himself off the building? They obviously found him a threat to society or else they wouldn't of flown a friggin helicopter to the sight. Is this the norm here? Man did I grow up in the sheltered suburbs of the Midwest.

Not sure what happened to the mystery roof man, because after an hour of this, like a sudden storm, all was silent outside...and I was left with my thoughts, anxiety and a sleepless night. The stress of life and pain causing someone to snap like this. Why does this feel so frightening? What stops any of us from snapping like this? And how much do I feel for this faceless man, atop the rooftop brewing over with pain...and him seeing no light at the end of the tunnel but the blare of a police helicopter lighting up the night sky in Brooklyn....

It's a jungle out there:

Okay, I havent updated my blog in a long time. I'm sure all you blog naysayers have been waiting on pins and needles for my latest squanderings (okay maybe only my friend Cara reads this but hey if you've touched one person you've touched the world...hee hee)
I often talk about New York, you think I would talk about something else for gords sake. But it is sort of an overbearing sibling who gets all the attention in the family (wait that would be me growing up I guess..sorry to my sister Denise. Just cuz I decided to be ON the stage..see if she would have just been an actor too...complete aside, but I've always had this reoccurring dream of Denise being a musical theatre actress and dazzling audiences as Polly in CRAZY FOR YOU...there would be no competition I would be thrilled to have a fellow Thespian sibling..and no my sister is not anything that rhymes with thespian....*cough) . But I digress...I have come to some huge conclusions about the insanity that is New York and what to be prewarned about if you are a newcomer. My thoughts are as follows:

Avoid Times Square, Union Square, Macy's Square...anything with Square in the title and intersections in the vicinity of Anything/Broadway. For some reason these areas are jammed to the hilt with MILLIONS of frenetic people, and attempting to move/walk forward is like an Atari game in it's final round where you are losing bad in an untimely manner with the chime sounding loudly any second. The last couple of weeks I have been aching for a vacation. I have to get out soon, to some deserted Island...where King Kong will snatch me up in a frenzy and protect me from big dinosaurs and waterfalls...and then eventually bring me back to the top of the Empire State Building in...NEW YORK CITY! NOOOOOOOOO!! ;)
Again I digress...
I have been starting to on-line date pretty extensively lately, and it has been very enlightening. I actually had TWO dates in one night recently...and what I learned from that experience is A) New York is a HARD city to date in. SEX AND THE CITY was written for a reason and that is because its damn true. And B) There has to be a spark there...a chemistry right away that you cant really determine from on line. I know this is kind of dumb and 19-year old minded but...nevertheless. Where is the Dr Phil theory that 'you have to be friends first' and love will grow from friendship? It's all relative and confusing...when does one finally grow up and not look for fireworks instantly? But it is great to be out there and dating and believing in something true, and the possibility that what you want is 'on its way to you' as you speak. I recommend online dating, it is very cathartic. And it's better than bars c'mon.
Yep yep yep....
So those are my Saturday musings and perplexed ponderings. Blogging is our map to the mind...woop!

"Rainy days and sundays always get me dooooown"- Oh, I know its Mondays. But doesnt Sunday fit better? Ah the late great Karen Carpenter...voice like spun silk.

Nothing much to report here on the Blog front. I have meeting many random people on the subway for some reason. And then having lengthy conversations. How strange, yet delightful.

Career news. I have a film audition tomorrow after work. And the TONK movie is still cruisin for financial support. Any offerings? New headshots are done (www.dcanderson.net for anyone interested, hes my dear friend very very affordable!) and my reel is going to be on the website very very soon.

Peace.

Celebrity Sightings by Thadd.

Okay, wanted to share one of my most exciting celebrity meetings to date. I met Richard Dreyfuss the other day! Due to the large snowstorm, most of the celebrities in Manhattan were forced to take public transportation. He was on the subway ramp can you believe it? Those who know me, know when it is a celebrity, someone I really love and admire, I HAVE to go up and say something without hesitation. And so I did. The conversation, though brief, was as follows:

Thadd: Excuse me, are you Richard Dreyfuss?

Richard: (slightly apprehensive of the freak named Thadd) Yess.

Thadd: I'm Thadd. I just wanted to tell you I'm a HUGE fan of your work, and you are such an inspiration to me. I love you!

(Huge high five handshake by THE Richard Dreyfuss with a big smile)

Richard: Thank you!

Thadd: Well, have a great day, so nice meeting you!

Richard: You too!

(Thadd faints from excitement)

Okay, I didn't really faint but next to Olympia Dukakis, who I met in November, this was one of my favorites. He was such a delight. I guess I am becoming a 'star gazer'..tell me no world.

I also saw Colin Cowie the other day outside my office. Big woop. :)

New York Times review for THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW!


The review from Talkin Broadway.

AND

American Theatre Webs review

Well, we have just opened THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW at Prospect Theater. Here is a link to the press we've gotten so far. I'll post any reviews as soon as they come out. First, as a reminder, each member of our cast gets 2 personal comps (aside from industry and AEA comps)so to my union friends, if you're interested in coming, you get in free with your card. The theater only seats 74 on the risers and an additional 11 people in the balcony, so it can fill up fast. It's a good show, with wonderful music and unique themes. I have to admit, it is exciting to be part of these NY premiere new works. One of the most amazing things was at our opening night party, there were almost ten students from Valparaiso University in Indiana who had DROVE up to see the show (thats right, drove). Walter Wangerin, who wrote the Award Winning Novel, is their professor, and he is unfortunately quite ill. In his support, they all came to see it opening night. AMAZING. It was great meeting them and sharing in their enthusiasm for the project.

But once again, I find myself introspective about doing theatre, mainly musical theatre. I talk about this alot, and am reminded about snippets in a great book I've mentioned before; SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES and the countless conversations I've had with my close friends. How BAD do you really want to do this? If you're unhappy what is the payoff and what is invested in this for your personally? The rehearsal process for DUN COW was exhaustive, mixed in with my full time work schedule, and lots of dancing, moving and positioning...by a great choreographer mind you (Got it? Keep it. Make sense? ;) however I KNOW, and have known for quite some time, I am someone who no longer wants to artistically express bouncing around the stage...I am NOT nor will I ever be a dancer, and I like that about my life and enjoy the peaceful moments more now anyway. I enjoy exercise and being able to CONTROL the pace of my human movement momentum ;) My dear friend Amber said when I first arrived, that New York really puts to the forefront HOW BAD do you really want to do this? EVERYONE is here to be an actor, and they are cut throat and determined..and often blind to the WHYS of why they have chosen this profession in the first place(insights from SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES). You need to examine why at some point. For me, I know I need to shift something here, I just need to examine a bit more...and I will!


Relating, things are moving forward with PLAYIN GOODE IN THE HOUSE OF TONK, the film I'm doing this spring. Cool thing is the original SHAFT Richard Roundtree has committed to it, and the director told me talks about Lawrence Fishburne making an appearance are possible. WOW. I play a sort of ghostly bartender. It's a great part I hope the financial revenue all comes through...we'll see. REALLY excited about it. And...excited to be in the peaceful 'non dancing' realm of da filmmaking.;)

And...I digress once again, February friends. Keep the whitelight burning.

Well, here we are Dec 29....post strike (thank you MTA), post Christmas (thank you New Balance gym shoes) and pre New Year 2006; the year I vow to make sleep my #1 priority. I remember being a teenager, and my parents bellowing yells at me never wanting to get up for school. Now I know it's just part of my nature...to need sleep like a hybernating bear, or else my entire world falls apart.

Trip home to Illinois and Wisconsin was good. It's hysterical how when you first get back there, everything seems to be going in slow motion. My friend Kathleen was like 'Oh the traffic is bad today' as I stared at the trickle of cars moving like snails down 290. It was too short a visit, but I'm glad I came, and I am glad to be back too. I do have to say the bus trip up from Chicago to Appleton was more annoying than about 4 weeks worth of riding the New York subway system (and that's pretty bad too I spent four hours in a car last week from 59th to Brooklyn). An example of the characters are as follows: loud, obnoxious talking to everybody in sight 20 year old mother of two who just began her service in the Army, loud ghetto man talking incessesantly on his cellphone, bitter bus driver woman who wouldnt tell you what the next stop was, and crying hysterical teenage girl who's friends baggage made us 45 minutes late!...so much for the Christmas spirit. If Jesus is the reason for the season, I wish he would have taken this bus ride with me.

Went to the doctor to get checked up, and good news; he said my Cholesterol levels are 'below average' for cardiovascular disease, which I am thrilled about. That soymilk and whole grain cereal must be working.

On the career front, I will be starting rehearsals for THE BOOK OF DUN COW at Prospect Theater in Manhattan. It's a new work, a sort of allegorical tale about animals and status, and I'm really excited to be working with this group of people. I am going to continue working at my full time job at Clinique Creative, so hopefully I will not run myself to the ground. As we know from the above, sleep is my milieu, my muse. Got called in last week for Mark in the National tour of RENT. This is the third time I've been called in, cast me already geez. Going to a master class Jan 9, and I just reread CALLBACK by Ginger Howard Friedman, which was inspiring. I love the story in it where she mentions chatter with the casting staff is good but assume nothing, and that she chatted and whooped it up for 10 minutes one time auditioning for a Broadway musical. She never heard from them again.

In conclusion....um.....I think....*cough....okay I have nothing to say in conclusion. This is a blog, not the Constitution.;)

Visited the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island today. Was only the second time I have been there, the last time being over 10 years ago in college. Such a cultural cornucopia of stimulating history. There was one plaque that resonated, written on a display of immigrant wicker suitcases at Ellis Island read something like "as the men and women came to seek new opportunities in an unknown land." I thought, wow that is my life moving away from the Midwest to "seek new opportunities in an unknown land"..not quite as glamorous as coming from Poland or Eastern Europe mind you, but perhaps just as profound inside for me. I have a limited scope outside the United States. I have only been to London, and that was when I was 12 to meet Paul McCartneys brother (this is Gods truth--ask me the details sometime) so I don't think I had as much appreciation for it then as I would now. But being there really made me feel the appreciation coming to the land of the free in 1900. The procedures and the 2% sent back and the desire for more. We spend so much time trying to get ahead as Americans we forget that we are truly blessed just to be here. Just to be born here. Okay, I am sounding like Oprah magazine but hey, periodic patriotism is allowed. Especially during the Holidays. :) On a down note, I found our lady of liberty surprisingly short. You think of her as cascading into the skys, majestic and towering; but when standing beneath her she's about as tall as a 7 story apartment complex or a car wash marquee. Go figure.

Happy Thanksgiving friends...kick it up this year, have tofu turkey...mmmm.

Wanted to share two fun new links.

First film stills are up for THE COFFEE SHOP I did this summer. One above and click HERE for additional.

Happy Veterans Day.

Saw NORMAL Off B'way on Friday, an amazing piece of theatre with polished staging and a strong and powerful message. Check it out if you are looking for a great show to see in the coming weeks.


These are my thoughts this weekend. Life begets you to trust moving forward doesn't it? As I hung up the phone with my friend Cara inviting me to Thanksgiving the other day, I thought to myself..I have AMAZING friends here in New York. When I left Chicago 3 years ago, I remember a lump inside about leaving my comfort zone of friends, colleagues and relatives. I had fear about the change. But now I know I am meant to be here, and had I not left I would have missed out on the wonderful people that are part of my life here. The fear of uncertainty should never be enough from preventing you becoming your fullest potential and moving beyond your comfort zone. The lessons and experience of living in New York are invaluble to me. Everyone should live here once, it teaches you sooooo much. Life is what you make it I guess, and if you are where you are meant to be you feel it inside. So yes..I am blessed with some amazing people here, and I thank each and every one of you for being on my side. Yeaaa!

Learning alot at my new job as an Administrator in Clinique Creative for Estee Lauder. Am beginning work on my on-camera reel, that should be on my website eventually. I dont want to scimp here, I want a good one so I am shopping around.

I have discovered a trick..learned it from a guy in Iowa. I wash my hair every other day or sometimes two days. Makes your hair much more manageable..and saves you money on Shampoo...Heloise would be proud.

Peace out.

Well what's new Ganoos? Sunday, I went to Yonkers NY, land of Cornelius Hackl and Barnaby Tucker, to scope a Co Op via the Actors Federal Union for my friend whos on tour. These Co ops are special agreements with the Union financing 90% of them and my gord were they amazing. The town is beautiful, slanted hills, bricks streets all along the Hudson River. The advantage here is, my friend has asked me to live there if he gets it, so plush easy 20 minute train rides could replace my congested, often uncomfortable hair raising daily subway trips. We'll see. Saturday, I did a recording for my friends Marcus and Jesse who are promoting a show to a company in Germany. It was fun being back in the studio, I love the format so I cant wait for more of those opportunities. I am in my second week working for Estee Lauder Corporation for Clinique Creative. Not sure how I feel yet. I'm amazed that the voice inside still resounds loudly to choose the life of a performer and not a pension plan and benefits;) the older I get, the louder the voice is to perform. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Other thoughts zipping around my cranium are: Why doesnt EVERYONE realize that EVERYONE is working on an entirely different life plan with different personalities. It would be much easier on us if we could just accept that people are ALWAYS going to contrast and challenge who we are. It's a dance its a battle...keeping true to who you are and adjusting as needed to people that drive you nuts...by keeping a distance or engaging in neccesary interaction.

October is coming to a close, and how quickly my favorite time of the year comes and goes.

I saw Jason Mraz in concert tonight, absolutely AMAZING! He is an amalgam of musical genius. Not only is his voice strong and soaring, he is a lyrical master with such catchy rhythms you are in love instantly. I am officially a fan. I've always liked him but now I am a huge admirer. Another amazing artist opened for him, Raul Midon... I dont even know how to describe him, this amazing mixture of R & B, funk, pop, folk, jazz all with a technique on accoustic guitar that was riveting, like India Arie and Bobby Mcferrons love child. It was night to remember, and a reminder for us as artists to use our talents 110% to the full gamut God gave us... very inspirational to me.

Well, this one is going to be deep one. Celebrities: These are my thoughts on celebrity-om. My first year in New York, I craved a celebrity sighting. Amidst my first thrilling couple of weeks 2002 perusing the streets of Manhattan, I found nothing but a few familiar looking postal workers and a rotten apple core on the street ledge. However, this past year it has been nothing but. Celebrities on the street, celebrities at my shows, celebrities at the Starbucks. And this is what I have come to realize. The more I see them, the more the fine line between us gets thinner. I realize it really is nothing in theory. When I would daydream in High School in rural Illinois, I thought somehow these otherworld people had reached something beyond the realm of reality. That somehow becoming famous granted a worth more than my own. I know now I could truly become a celebrity, and in narrow terms, am one already really. The people living and working and breathing in quiet midwestern towns, or bare populated Iowa see something on the TV screen that if they were around all the time, like this, would understand to their core that these famous people are merely one who a camera or newspaper has observed in excess. That is it and it gives you nothing in exchange. BIG lesson.

In lieu of that, I worked at Bobbi Brown this week and met her, in all her celebrity makeup guru-ness. She was delightful...heres who I have cast my eyes upon as of late: Halle Barry, Nathan Lane, Laila Robins ( Planes Trains and Automobiles), some Broadway stars and who else can remember?

I walked by what I believe was a dead man on the street today...*sigh. Only in New York.

On the career front, got called in for Seymour for the National Tour of Little Shop of Horrors, had a commercial audition for Time Warner Cable and am auditioning for some films. Our cast of Nerds:// is in mourning post Nerds://. such an amazing experience. Here's a photo above:

Some reviews of NERDS:

http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm/story/6793

http://theater2.nytimes.com/mem/theater/treview.html?res=9C0DEEDE1430F937A1575AC0A9639C8B63

http://www.talkinbroadway.com/ob/09_26_05.html

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This thought has been of particular inspiration to me...I have been overwhelmed by New York lately. SO many people on the subway, angry, disrespectful to space, no reverence really to others. And even if this is blind naivity or false hope, I miss the Midwest. There are days I just dont want to endure it. I remember a year or so ago I wrote how spiritually enlightening the subway is. However, when youth have never learned social manners, no awareness that the world is something we share, people with hate and misery in their eyes, blatant disregard for others space and your life, then enough is enough. Why does this seem so rampant in New York? I didnt notice this in Illinois or Des Moines. Is the Midwest truly a place that is graced and protected, or is it just in a bubble? Is it correct to state that life in the Midwest is better than New York, or at least tons more peaceful. I keep telling people that in comparison to Los Angeles I am glad I am here on the east coast, but it seems equally 'empty' here at times. My friend reminded me that Marianne Williamson says that these people have just forgotten who they truly are, that we all our unconditional love and it is our job to remind each other. But sometimes I simply see hatred and disregard. Are people just bred this way? I have moments too, however to be consumed with it. Ralph Waldo Emersons quote seems more relevant than ever.

And now the Hurricane in Texas..makes my problems seem unimportant. I have been going about my life blind really to Louisiana and Texas and I need to do something to help. Enough talk, and BE the solution to the problem. Lots on my mind today...

"A career is a race, and it's yours to win. Its not something that happens to you. You determine it's course. Not your parents. not your college career advisor. Not your master card balance. Not practicality. Not common sense. It's not what "they" approve of or what "they" tell you to do. Ultimately, it's up to you, and you'll win only by tapping into your passion, your desires, your humor, and your tenacity. It's your trip." ~Dreams into Action, Milton Katselas

“Strength of numbers is the delight of the timid. The Valiant in spirit glory in fighting alone”
– M. Gandhi

Heres some great new links about NERDS://



http://www.broadway.com/gen/Buzz_Video.aspx?ci=517338

http://broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=4622

http://www.broadway.com/gen/general.aspx?ci=516744

I love this poem below by Emily Dickinson:

I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head
I felt About my Feet the Sea.
I knew not but the nextWould be my final inch --
This gave me that precarious Gait Some call Experience.
--Emily Dickinson

Hey, heres some reviews from TREATY 321, which will close this week. Check out our final performances if you can Thursday at 3pm and Friday at 9:15pm. Good times.

NYTheatre.com review

Gothamist.com review

Oh New York...my body is missing being in a car in the midwest. The thing about New York is it is such a PHYSICALLY demanding city. Get up, walk to the subway, stand on the subway, hold your balance--out and UP the stairs and blocks and blocks to work. Walk to lunch. Walk back to the subway. You really get your workout daily here, although it is filled with smog. I often wonder if living in a car and getting a workout at the air filtered gym is a better option?

TREATY 321 opened last week, and it is very well done. The cast is enormously talented, and the director really knows his chops; the fine art of moments, bits, pacing and overall presentation.

Start rehearsals for NERDS tomorrow and I am thrilled.

Thoughts and quotes for this fine Monday:

"I was staring out my window at that beautiful barge with nothing to do, no one to speak to. Just a person, staring out the window. Can you understand what I mean when I say that as I allowed the feeling of lonliness to arise in me I felt a heartbreaking compassion, recognizing that every person everywhere throughout history has been subject to the very same loneliness I was feeling in that moment? I started to weep, with sadness and awe and grief and joy. I felt connected to the world in a new, different way, admiring the capability of the heart to hold all those feelings at once. Such strong feelings! And of course because it was MY heart, too how full I felt, and complete. This profound loneliness was in fact, exactly the opposite of what I'd always been afraid of.And once again, it yielded up a banquet of pleasure, unexpected and glorious."-Valerie Monroe

You wont catch me looking more macho than this folks. Me at the Mega M & M unveiling event at Grand Central Station.

It's official. I got the role of Steve "The Woz" Wozniak in NERDS: A MUSICAL SOFTWARE SATIRE for the New York Musical Theatre Festival. Show will star Sean Dugan (OZ) Anthony Holds (Dracula) Jessica Snow Wilson (Little Shop of Horrors), Jeremy Ellison-Gladstone (Fantastiks) and ME! Details to come. Should garnish some much needed career attention for this 33 year old actor. :) Check out our article on Playbill

Here

God speaks to me through my Ipod. :) It's true, I believe. When it's in Shuffle mode that is. It's like one of those rare haphazard horoscopes you read at whim. It's like the song choices coincide with how you are feeling, what you are grappling with presently. On the subway today, I noticed how each and every song was like a tapestry to my inner thoughts. No one can convince me otherwise. GOD SPEAKS to ME through the Ipod..Ipod mini...*ahem.

I also had a Big Mac today, which I am somewhat ashamed of. I dont think I've had McDonalds in like a year especially since SUPER SIZE the Documentary came out. However, for some reason the Big Mac called to me today. No fries or soda or value meal. Just the Big Mac. $3.49 mind you (New York prices geez).

Have a commercial audition for Fruit Wise Monday, callback for the NY Music Theatre Festival and up for CHUCKLEBALL again Off Broadway.

Walking the streets of Manhattan is like an Atari video game at its highest level. Move here, dodge that, cross here, oops I bumped you, zig zag zig zag. :(

Just finished Marianne Williamsons A RETURN TO LOVE. Thoroughly recommend it.

Where is the love Manhattan?

:)

Thadd

I got a fringe show at the Lucille Lortel theatre Off Broadway called TREATY 321 and have had two commercial auditions, for Doritoes and Febreeze. New York people on the streets are still lacking in the manners department, makes me worry for myself living here years and years...whats that sunscreen song lyric, "live in New York once but leave before it makes you hard?" True true. I got called in for NERDS at the NY Musical Theatre Festival and have been working for Beauty Bank at Estee Lauder. More later..

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself." -The Course in Miracles

Well I've been back in New York for about three weeks now. Jeez being gone 6 months is a lot. Work is work.

Its been difficult keeping my good manners I gained back in Iowa. It doesnt work quite as readily, because of the hustle and bustle of the city, a smile gets you more distrust than an introduction. But those people are there here in NY, like rare gems found on the riverfront. Working for Estee Lauder, which is a company I have been wanting to get into. Also something that has its element of stifling next to it. I also worked a promotional event with a company I've worked for Eventage Events, and I am slowly starting to audition again. Auditioning, after not doing it for six months, is also something you must re acclumate to. My first audition crashed and burn, I sang off key and in general was just not connected. Second was good so Eh thats ok, like I said just need to reacclumate. I have been called back for two things, a fringe show called TRAVIS TANNER and a film called THE REUNION.

THE most amazing news is I now have a commercial agent on top of my legit one. Its a really good one, Talentworks and I am thrilled as on-camera is what I am more interested in at this point. Can't wait to see what develops from that.

Peace and love to those victims of the London bombings...

I read this quote and loved it

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying..and suddenly I realize I forgot to live."-ANONYMOUS

Life truly is ups and downs isnt it? Have finished the run of FOREVER PLAID, and with it, huge lessons to be learned. In this contract, there was NO ONE to listen to the concerns of the cast, no one to really appreciate the gifts you bring. TRUE proof of the benefit of the union. I guess it's ridiculous to expect support in every contract, union or non union but how wonderful when it has been there in the past. A test in self preservation and endurance. What can you do? Aside from this, what an amazing city filled with wonderful people, deep in substance, love and integrity. The good with the bad I suppose. I see the lessons so clearly, and try to remain grateful.

I am up for a couple of tours right now, and I am filming two independent films this summer; one back in Des Moines and another with Leospride entertainment in Kentucky. I am tossing around the idea of being in Chicago for the early part of the summer, and continuing working with my wonderful agent Renee in New York. There is always that struggle at the end of the contract, the reshuffling of your life. Again, "the actor must be comfortable with the uncomfortable."

Finally get to see my family here in Appleton Wisconsin. Played Batgammon with the nieces today. I suck at it :)

As promised, a shout out to the delightful Cindy Coakes, my personal heroine who informed me she reads my blog regularly. Thank you Cindy, this ones for you! :)

Ah as I head into my fourth month here in Iowa, things are a plenty...I havent journaled in forever-is anyone reading this except me? hee hee. Well whats new? I have been working out, enjoying the beautiful spring weather,just loving the people here in Iowa. I met Frankie Avalon over the weekend, the tour of GREASE was here and we hung with the cast. The show has been extended, and as Amber says "dont bite off the hand that feeds you." Lots on my mind...Been dating several people here, which has been quite enjoyable. I'm learning a lot about my patterns, expectations and living in the moment. Enjoying what each has to offer in the now as they say. I've been missing New York, my family and friends..but overall I am just great. I have become very spoiled with my structured life here, which in essence, is artificial, as once the contract ends I go back to my 'trying to act and be employed' life. But I have saved money and have even bought my very first laptop which I am thrilled about. Her name is Deliala the Dell :)The big thing I am learning is no matter how polished you believe your people skills are, you will always have to readjust to the gazillions of variance in people you meet, are working with etc. The world is turning at its own atlas, regardless of what I want or need it to be. Just being open to whatever lesson is there for you, whether its your level of patience, your need inside to be heard and validated, your insecurities...it's all a day by day process. And, as always the delicious elixirs of Starbucks continue to sustain me..thank you iced caramel decaf macchiato with whip :)

"When the soul is caught up in rigid identification with others in the world, it is not satisfied. In every soul there is an inherent drive toward truth, an inherent desire to feel fulfilled, real and free. Although many people are not able to pursue this desire effectively, the impetus toward the realization of the self is in all of us; it begins with the first stirrings of consciousness and continues through life whether or not we are directly aware of it. This impetus spontaneously emerges in consciousness as an important task for the psychologically and spirtually maturing human being. As maturity grows into wisdom in an optimally developing person, this task gains precendence over other tasks in life, progressively becoming the center that orients, supports and gives meaning to one's life, ultimately encompassing all of ones experiences."

-A. H. Almaas, The Point of Existence, p 16

Well PLAID is just about to open and I am thrilled the rehearsal process is just about behind me..we in the cast call it FA PLA in honor of our stage manager calling I LOVE YOU YOURE PERFECT NOW CHANGE 'LOVE PERF'. I have really learned alot about myself with this rehearsal process. I know I dont want to keep doing this regional bouncing around thing. I've done my share, I've been 'successful'. It's now a matter of listening to what my heart is telling me. And mine is telling me I dont need to do stage shows, particularly MUSICAL theatre to express artistically. Dancing and moving and harmony and lines and details and mic stands...not so much for me I'm thinking. I want the platform to be able to express myself in my own way and through my own vision, not those of a staff and director and choreographer..I dont do so well learning every element of a show in 8 days anyway, I want more of the freedom to be do what moves me specifically, and be more choosy with what I perform in. I know PLAID will be fun, and I am looking forward to the run, but I am filled with some new and profound insights for when it is over.I really think this is it for me and regional work for a long time. New York will have to open up a new artistic niche for me. *sigh* I digress. :)

Well here I am in Appleton Wisconsin. Lots of toll way connections so you get the full gamut of driving thought time.

Today on Oprah they were discussing Ruwanda and the unimaginably horrible things that are being done to women and children there. It truly made me emotionally distraught for the rest of the evening. Here, these people are going through inexplicable horror and I cant overcome my measly surmountable life issues.

We all have something. People in africa and the horrible abuse and torture. The victims of the Tsunami in Asia. I wish I could just feel blessed all the time, especially with what they have endured. We are blessed imensly that we are merely born in America and can walk the streets. However our problems are OURS. Despite the vastness of others pains, ours is our own and it still hurts. What is to be done?

Maybe if we could just understand that this may be our path in life, and that our goal is to let it pass through us, observed by us, but not feeding it. It is there to enlighten us to truly truly appreciate. It is what we 'assign' these thoughts that give us pain. The story of the boy who asked his father of the loving wolf and the evil wolf that lives within each of us, which wolf will take over, and to this the father answers: The one we feed the most.

So that's my brain gaspacho today.

I leave for Iowa this weekend to do FOREVER PLAID for four months! I'm excited about it, and again I feel blessed for the work and the experience. The acting profession remains however, not real life, and not what is really important. It is merely something you do, not who you are. Prayers to the people who need it.


"And whatever yours labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."
~"Desiderata"

Holy Happy New Year Batman! Here I am in Illinois packing Mom up for her big move Thursday. It's a bit overwhelming since I am someone who lives in New York with the basics and Mom has tons of things I want to purge like a makeover show. I'm glad I can be here for her though. Being back in the midwest is like a much needed spiritual medication. My friend Amber is back here too for this week, and last night we discussed how we feel like we are on a hamster wheel in New York: vying, running, pushing to get ahead, wherever that is, and when you get back here, you can breathe again. The fast pace of New York and Los Angeles, and all the cities where people are trying to 'make it' is not real life, real life is here in the smaller lands of the US. THIS is where people have their priorities straight and man do you lose it in New York. I suddenly realized how rude I was talking on my cell phone in a restaurant here. Oy! Thursday I was in Boston, Friday I was in New York and Friday afternoon I was here in Illinois. Wowsa, my life sometimes. This New Year I resolve to really try and trust God and trust my decisions and trust trust trust that I am being led where I need to be. Quotes for now:

"Spend time with people who appreciate you. And show it with their words and actions"

"Self love, my liege is not so vile a sin as self neglecting."- Shakespeare

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."-Booker T. Washington



"

"I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."

Abraham Maslow

"At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you."

Unknown

Merry Christmas! This will be my first in New York. Although I am seperated from my family this year, I feel content to be spending it here. I am thinking about a lot of things this Xmas; Christmas should be healing shouldnt it? Why do I feel basically neautral about it? I am select with the love I give. Like when you are working with people who constantly insult others and make fun of others : then, in that process, I lose my sense to love. Meaning my love comes conditionally to people. And it seems it is more than environmental, the theory that people who berate are hurt inside. Sometimes they are just plain nasty inside. Then what? I have a tendency to want to defend against this. How do you remain loving? Peace inside this is my Christmas list.

So what else is going on? Hmm. I lost my cellphone yesterday in Manhattan. You dont realize how 'attached' you are to a cellphone til its gone. Good lesson in 'attachment' I suppose.

I am being pursued by a really unique and cool band, The Boston based Kahootz for their main male vocalist (www.kahootz.net) I am going up to Boston next Thursday to meet with them. We'll see. That would mean relocation to Boston.

I met Keri Russell (Felecity) yesterday!! I'm a huge fan of the late great show. I went to see FAT PIG Off B'way which she is in.

Happy Holidays!
Love (sometimes conditionally :)
Thadd

Back from Atlanta Georgia! It's so plush and architecturally beautiful there, and I like the southern Georgian manners too. The group of people on this tour are out of control, and we spend much of the time laughing, much of it at each other. Not WITH each other mind you but AT hee hee...this tour has also been the tour of celebrities at the airport, namely James Earl Jones, Susan Lucci and this past friday I met RuPaul! Interesting fellow, so quiet out of drag. Although it was 6:00am in the morning.Good times good times. As Christmas approaches, I am reminded of some of my favorite quotes..."Doubt means don't do anything until you DO know."-Oprah, "When people reveal to you who they are, believe them the first time."-Maya Angelou.This ones is resonatin for me oh baby! :)

It's Dec 1st and the holiday songs are a playin. In the bus terminal, in stores, on the street. Yesterday, my friend Amber and I tried to go to the tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller. Impossible my friends wowsa. Evidently, fans of the famous shrubbage arrived at 2pm to our 5pm! We had delicious Thai food instead. I showed her my favorite church in Manhattan, the actors chapel. Amber said "Thadd you really utilize all the entire city has to offer." She's right,I suppose. Ever since I've moved here, I wander aimlessly at times and ingest everything New York has to offer. This being in lieu of some times of unemployment :)Nah, I'm getting cast and callbacks so no complaints here. Now I'm having to turn things down, which blows because the heart wants to be performing now. It's now or never. Going out on my second round this weekend for Suave, this time to my hometown yay! I haven't been back in 6 months so I'm really looking forward to it. Ah but the questions remain...and the growth continues....

Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Take care of yourself so you have a resevoir to give to other people. I heard this today and it was after a day where I exercised and tried (tried is the key word here) to eat healthier. It's mid November and life is rollin along. Jeez its gotten cold all of sudden, *ahem where was the fall? Had a callback for FOREVER PLAID, and am taking action to ensure I get seen for Fiyero replacement in WICKED. I LOVE that show. BARE A POP OPERA has been particularly inspiring to me as of late, we got free CD's of it at my last 4x meeting. I train this friday for my promotional tour, and I am mailing what and when I can. "Expectations are the greatest source of pain, because others rarely live up to our ideals."- Author Laura Davis.

It's November my Turkey talliers! It's a beautiful day outside I must say. Well, I am hooked up with two promotional corporations here in Manhattan. I did the Jack Morton event last month, and Nov-Dec, I will be touring for Suave through Eventage Events. We'll be in four different cities; Minneapolis, Orlando, Chicago and Seattle. I'm excited I'll get to see my family, and I do like traveling. I went to my second 4x-four artists by artists group tonight, and it is wonderful thus far. They should have the website up soon. If you want more info on this, drop me an email. Sigh* Autonomous and introspective as always, I continue to examine life and it's peaks and valleys. The sheer volume of people in New York hurtles at me the realities that people first think only of themselves often, a 'my way is THE way' outlook, especially in younger years. Those who think first of others are considered weak or pushovers. But this loving approach far surpasses in the love realm the "I cant believe they think that way" theory. Just coming to that understanding that yes I think this way but not everyone does, so be careful that you share that only with those you trust and love, and dont feel the 'ego' driven need to make everyone believe as you do. But, DO speak up against unprovoked malice in others. The most loving thing you can do sometimes is illuminate to a nasty person their nastiness it seems. But, life has no easy answers. My friend Amber gave me a card recently with this lovely message on it:

"Life has a way of stripping away the nonessentials
one birthday at a time
until we're left with our real selves
unashamed before the world
refined by experience
shaped by the things we've learned
and the passions we've pursued
And finally, we know what we know, and we love what we love and we still have
this precious thing called time.
and it's enough.
It's more than enough."

Saw I HEART HUCKABEES today. Friggin brilliant movie. Was visiting my friend Amber in New Brunswick, NJ which I heart btw. SO comfortable in NJ. Reading this book called SMART ACTORS, FOOLISH CHOICES by Katherine Mayfield which I'm enjoying. Its focal point is the realities of the entertainment biz, and how you need to have a full personal life outside of it with strong personal relationships, and how to still feel validated whether or not you are in a show. I am going to start the actors forum workshop which my friend Jen has organized tomorrow, which I am looking forward to. A way of keeping you on track as an actor through the help of other actors support. And, after just having a great weekend with friends, I feel good in this arena--at peace. Thank you Universe! :)

Today is my birthday weeeeee! I went to an amazing seminar by a company called CAPES COACHING last night. It's an inspirational sort of seminar that inspires actors to get to the next level in their career(www.capesco.com) So much of it is what I have learned in my own life seperate from the acting career, the work I've done on myself spiritually. Much of it was keeping the negative thoughts in check. I am feeling good inside, with occasional bouts buts thats everyones life I think. I'm also excited to report I got a callback for the prestigious Manhattan Theatre Clubs production of SHOCKHEADED PETER. That would be Off-Broadway in the spring. The show is super cool, it's based on Henrik Hoffmans childrens books that were poised to scare the hell out of kids. It's like Edward Scissors Hands meets Goldilocks. :)FRANKENSTEIN THE ROCK OPERA opens Mon and Tues, and so far I'm enjoying myself. Hopefully they will get investors for their show. More later---

I have researched up on Bush and Kerry and I feel armed to vote. I know how they stand on health care to taxes to national security. Now, if my absentee ballot comes here in time I'm set. I got an offer for an Off-Off Broadway show called LOOKING FOR SEX at the Wings Theatre. It's a great part and a good script however, the money sucks and I would be required to be in my underwear. :( Gonna pass on this one. I will be doing the Frankenstein show though, that's Oct 18th and 19th. Ben Folds music has really been speaking to my heart lately. I'm feeling melancholy as I always do in October. It's my favorite time of the year and it is also rid with pontification on life. I am really examining lately how frustrating dealing with insensitive people is at times. I'm sure I am difficult to them too, however concern for other human beings seems to be the foundation/equation they are lacking. Of course, I examine the whys and whatnots of this from their childhood, experiences etc. I get pissed off too geez, but some things are just right or wrong fundamentally. Does this make me Dr. Laura? ;) I guess this is where the deemed alone time is necessary; getting the time to be away from it all to regroup and go back out into the world.

October is here, my favorite month of the year yeaaa! I am determined to vote. I just printed my absentee ballot from Illinois. I watched the presidential debate Friday.*Sigh. I am feeling as if I dont know enough about each candidate and am relying on what everyone is saying. I want to make an educated decision here. Hmmm. Well, then research online it is. Can I just say that New York seems to be making me harder. Today this older woman and her husband asked me how to get to the World Trade Center in the subway. I tried to explain she would have to transfer and she was brusque and demanding and snapped "I dont want to transfer!". Thadd 5 years ago would have placated and been like well gee do this, try that. I said, "Well good luck!" and whooshed away. See what I'm becoming. I just dont have time for nastiness anymore. Maybe she was having a bad day. But then I guess nastiness isn't the right response to nastiness. Who can figure it all out? Bleaaaaaa.I miss the midwest where excuse me is a common colloquy.

The movie I did background work for SURVIVING CHRISTMAS starring Ben Afleck and Christina Applegate comes out next month I think. I wonder if you will see me? Ha! I am doing well, I got an equity showcase called FRANKENSTEIN A POP OPERA. It should be fun for the Halloween season (my favorite mind you) AND my Birthday month. The Big 33. I am finishing up the promotional job for Bank of America, I have one day left next week. My lord, the thousands and thousands of people who I talked about the bank to. New York has so many millions of people, it seems things you have to deal with in your daily life is multiplied in speed and intensity. We all come at life thinking it is defined how WE feel. This is sort of ego driven when you think. Its just a given that you will constantly deal with conflict of interest in other peoples agendas. This career is moving along OK, I guess. Man Im tired...Zzzz

A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.

I have been working a promotional job for Bank of America in Times Square. It is truly exhausting. Well, I didn't get enough sleep either that didn't help. I think I am in denial how many misguided,horrible people there are in New York. I think I was sheltered growing up in the Midwest. On the subway three girls were SCREAMING at each other about to fist each other. Then, at the promotional gig, some street handlers went running when the police came to arrest them and one of them just missed plowing me over. This is good money but is it worth me getting a concussion? And I just don't know about the actors here in New York. . Part of me knows I don't belong in the acting career in many ways. This is not to say there are not wonderful people in this career,you are blessed when you come across them, but so many actors are enourmously selfish with no reverence for others hearts. I'm just feeling so disenchanted with that, why does this happen?

Yesterday, the subways were flooded from rainfall and had huge delays. It was the worse I've seen since I've been in NY, I was two hours late to work. Oy, New Yorkers. People were pushing and shoving into the crammed cars. SO irritating. At the time however, I was reading Joan Gibsons book LIVING IN PERSPECTIVE. Which lead to these thoughts:

When we look back over our lives we frequently find that events which had seemed disasters at the time have turned out to be blessings in disguise. Left to ourselves, we would have made ill-advised choices, but circumstances have forced us to change direction.

I know my life has had my own percieved 'disasters'. However, from those have come an unwavering strength in my spirit, replacing my youthful naive dreams about life and success with emotional maturity and growth.Success will come in it's time. However, it may be in an entirely different form from our original conception of it.

What else? OH, I've discovered I have a hair-hang up. I tie my self worth to how good my haircut is. If I don't like the way it looks, I feel unattractive and pick at it obsessively. Ha! My name is Thadd and I am a hair-aholic. :)I am working on this...perhaps I should just buzz cut-it and be done with it.

This week thank you: Mom, BankOne, Starbucks, Spencer, Amber, high speed internet and cute doggies on the street givin me lovin' :)


For all the heartaches and the tears,
for gloomy days and fruitless years,
I do give thanks for now I know
These were the things that helped me grow.
Anon.

The city has been under seige with the Rebublican convention this past week, which thankfully ends today. It is amazing all the protest mobs, arrests, and political upheavals that have occured this past week. I can't believe Bush chose here, oy! Yesterday, I came to the theatre early after my temp job, and as I entered the bathroom a huge mouse darted out of the room. I guess "eek" was the word of choice for that. I read that many of the Broadway theatres are infested with creepy crawlies and terrible ventilation problems. Interesting that you work so hard to get there, and the conditions are less than favorable. Galinda the good witch in WICKED sings "Cause getting your dreams, it's strange but it seems a little well complicated,theres a kind of a sorta cost, theres a couple of things get lost, there are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you crossed." Metaphors for life this week..

More thoughts by Wayne Dyer. I love that guy:

1.Want more for others than you want for yourself
2.Think from the end (see yourself surrounded by events you want i.e.addiction free, sons yellow car, etc.)
3.Be an appreciator (look for that which is valuable)
4.Stay in rapport with your source energy
5.Understand resistance(every unkind thought, judgment, negative word, fear-all resistance)
6.Contemplate yourself surrounded by the conditions you want
7.Understand the art of allowing (allow-here I am here, here is the source)
8.Practice radical humility (you are not your mind, body, you ARE the source)
9. Be in a state of gratitude
10.Do not resolve a problem by condemning it ( shame your way into higher consciousness, no)
11.Play the match game ( I am matched up with the field of intention)
12. Meditate.

“Happiness is something you decide ahead of time. It’s how I arrange my mind.”

Food for thought. Mmmmm.

The Republican convention is in full swing here. Sunday, as I was going to my show at 44th and 9th, there were helicopters and police men everywhere. I said to a fellow cast member, 'What a price to pay to be an actor Off-Broadway. Ha! I have learned the fine art of discretion lately. Wheels are turning. Two recent books I've read; YOUR LIFE IS WAITING and HOW TO SELL YOURSELF AS AN ACTOR. One speaks of 'feeling' your dreams into reality, the other, the reality of the acting business. Practicality and diligence and action begets daydreaming your acting career will take off. I continue to mail headshots and call and network and scrape. For now it is good. Saw my friend Erin in INFERTILITY THE MUSICAL at the NY Fringe Sat. She was beautimous,and the show was very clever and polished. Saw someone slapping their two year old on the subway. That goes under the hate part of my love/hate relationship with the city. More later...

OKay WHY can you never hear what the transit worker is saying over the speaker on the subway? New York is the most industrial city in the world and you cannot hear if Hoyt Schermerhorn or 42nd is your next stop. I sit there straining my ears like an 87 year old....eh? WORLDS AWAY opens this week. The rehearsals have...well, due to the fact of incrimination, I will keep silent for now. We have had ads in the New York times and Village Voice. I auditioned for the new Beach boys musical on Broadway this week, and I continue to forge ahead as actor man....at least, I think thats right.

Helloooo is anyone out there? Whats been goin on? Well..things are pretty good. I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge with my friend Amy yesterday, it was super cool. WORLDS AWAY is movin along, although I read in the New York times that BIGFOOT THE MUSICAL the fringe show I had to drop out of, has alot of buzz surrounding it as being the next URINETOWN. :( for me, :) for them. I have a callback for Northern Stages theatre in VT this Thursday, and I am going to start taking some acting classes next month, gotta start training again.Have some Illinois friends coming this Thursday which I am very excited about. Mom has a buyer for her house back home in Illinois. My friend Erin booked a Verizon commercial yeaaaa. We have the same agent. Renee, make me a star!..Whilst still remaining humble and down to earth and approachable..tee hee. FINE!

I have been house/cat sitting in Hoboken NJ and I love it. I mean I friggin love it here. This is where I will settle in NY...and I will have a car, house, spouse and 2.9 pets. I am not having any deep thoughts today except I am now CERTAIN Subway is against additional meat helpings. There was a policy change, I know it where is the memo I want to see it? I also have surprisingly fell in the love with the new Iced Lattes at Dunkin Donuts ....mmmm they are good, almost dare I say better than Starbucks?! *gasp*! And that my friends, is that.

We all sing our own song, don't we? Or at least we should. For instance: I am rehearsing WORLDS AWAY, in a role of great wisdom, appeal and presence. There is a reference in the script that he is a 'ruggedly handsome rockstar'. Hmmm..I have worked at places that would never see me in that light. But, I have always known deep down that I am capable of inhabiting any role. I signed on to be an actor years ago, and that means variance and challenge to me. It sounds cliche, but we really need to follow our own hearts, especially artistically. Not everyone will follow you on your journey to becoming your fullest self, and part of life is sifting through people that don't make us feel good inside. For those people in my life who lift me up, and you know who you are, I am unexplainably grateful to you. SO much to be grateful for lately wow.

Negotiations are complete and I have taken WORLD'S AWAY Off-Broadway. I will not be able to do BIGFOOT at the NY Fringe. I love ma' BIGFOOT *sigh*! Karen Mack and staff, thank you for your thoughtful consideration of me, I am terribly dissapointed I will not get to work with you. It does feel good though to be wanted by two shows. I also am finishing up my temp job at BNP Paribas Bank which has been quite the corporate experience lordy. Donald Trump, if you're reading this, buy my Moms house back in Illinois. I was at Broadway Barks last week, and man did the dog-turnal instincts in me surface.. Waaa, I want my own poochie to love! Greyhounds, and Daschunds and Golden retrievers, I love you! :)

Well I am just blessed this week. I got an offer for an Off-Broadway show today! It's called WORLDS AWAY (worldsawaymusical.com) at the Producers Club Aug-Sept. I can't believe it! For all those times when I have thought of giving up this career, it's moments like these you want to treasure and relish wow!! I am hoping to be able to do both the Fringe Festival and WORLDS AWAY, so for now they just have to negotiate with my agent tomorrow. Ahhh A strange exhilaration! More later...

I have been in corporate America for the last week. Interesting to be back in this environment. I dont mind the 9-5 hours as much as I find that the people are cold and impersonal in business, especially financial organizations. You take for granted the open sensitive nature of entertainment folk. Callbacks have been going well. WHY do I need to tell the consumate truth in all situations? I really feel life is too short for pretense you know? Bypass certain social coo's that people use and aim for the truth. Not everyone will like this of course, but at least you are authentic. You could be dead tomorrow! This week I thank gratefully: Mom for her strength, Julie for laughs, Wall Street Services for work, Alex for the discoveries, Amber for the Thai-talk and Starbucks for my salvation...Seacrest---out.

Happy 4th weekend from the self-proclaimed Starbucks addict! I was telling my Mom the other day that I am the fullest version of myself in New York, as if all that I have experienced in my life culminated to this moment, in preparation for New York. I just feel more, and I am more compassionate, aware and alive. SO much to learn from looking and seeing without judgement. Next week, I start a temp position at a Fringe bank on 51st and 7th. I really like my temp services. Okay, I just said no judgement, however has anyone else noticed that Subway (the sandwich shop) has slammed its corporate-Hitler fist down on portion sizes and such lately? And can the workers there be any more miserable? "No, no its fine I wanted those hot peppers afterall *cough* *ahem* Even though I said no...no no. It's not YOU, it's ME.":)

*Sniff* This summer may hold bad allergies for me, I feel like a racoon is sitting on my nose. Got called in for the New York Fringe Festival for BELIEVE IN ME. A BIGFOOT MUSICAL.I love it! My 11 year old niece is going to flip if I get that, I've teased her about Big Foot since she was little. And dont call me crazy, but I swore I saw him in my window when I was 7. I have some more auditions coming up, and some interviews for artistic positions for theatres, as well as temp positions from my now three (count em) temp agents. Called my agent to get an audition for WICKED and its a no go, they are not using agents for this call. I do have a final callback for WORLDS AWAY next Thursday. This is being an actor folks..up in da' air.Laminate it. :)

I love New York in the summer! So much wonderful energy and spirit. Today I had an audition for a new Off-Broadway show called WORLDS AWAY (Worldsawaymusical.com). It went well, they kept me in there for 5 minutes which is a good sign. After, I met up with my married friends Cindy and Michael who were in town for business. We had a great time, perusing Soho, walking down by the Hudson River. I am really in a content place right now where I am just taking it day by day with this crazy acting career. Ah the 'Disney-fication' of Broadway Theatre, where do I fit in? I would just be happy to work once a year in a challenging and artistically fulfilling show. The grind is the grind I suppose. I am actually intriqued at the moment with possibly getting my Masters degree or having a business career in Manhattan. My temp agent had gotten me a job at Ralph Lauren that I couldnt take due to an audition. What was I thinking?! I can see me now in $5000 dollar suits fetching memos for Mr. Lauren. "Yes sir, I'm right on top of that Mr. Lauren!"--I can dream can't I? :)

Have you all heard of a book called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS? It's based on ancient Toltec wisdom, and offers a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom and happiness. It says:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in truth and love.
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well-rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Isn't that interesting? Hmmm. Lots to do career wise this week. More later--

Summer is officially here, and with it, bumble bees, air conditioning and claritin pills. Things have been melancholy. I have been taking road trips and trying Yoga and I continue to jog and the occasional treadmill frisk. I've been on some dates under fascinating circumstances. Fun.(you'll have to call for details on that ;) Just finished reading Olympia Dukakis's auto biography ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW, I loved it, even academy award winning actors have it rough being an actor in New York. Things are in transition now..keeping focused on positivity and action..Perseverance.

May is coming to a close friends. So what's been happening? Well, I have had two auditions as of late, one for THE LAST FIVE YEARS at Skylight Opera Theatre and SUNSET BOULEVARD at Marriotts Lincolnshire. MACGREGOR is being postponed so I will not be in Cincinatti next month as anticipated--so here I am. I did get a review at the Broadway Palm Theatre in FL but I decided against that, so now I am in the dreaded actors between time--"The actor must become comfortable with the uncomfortable."-Acting Professionally book.yes yes..finally, for those of you close to me who knew how much I hated my witch mole on my left hand-- I am happy to report it was removed by a wonderful doctor last Friday with only four stitches! Goodbye Mr. Mole. For now I just look like Jesus with my stigmata wound...*sigh*

I have been inspired today by two ministers of the world. Wayne Dyer, who I have been following since 1999, has a special on PBS which is so wonderful. In it, he speaks of your 'intentions' in your thoughts, and how you see yourself surrounded by events you want manifested in your life, and how we need to stay in rapport with our source of energy..appreciating and loving. In the same day, I also tuned into my favorite Christian Pastor, Joel Osteen from the Lakewood Church in Texas speaking of the power of our words, and how we should speak as if God has already manifested what we want in our lives. I was truly inspired, I have typed it up in my journal and put it in my nightly prayers (minus the PJ's!;) What other way is there to live life I ask?Wow, what a goal to strive for. I DO falter,yes. But I sure as heck am gonna try!