Zip bam boom! The long awaited summer blog entry is here. After much deliberation and careful thought and examination I am filled with lyrical word play to express in the blog form. Alert the press!

First off, I want to come clean about an exquisite singer I have loved for over 20 years and am not ashamed to admit it, my friends. And that is the great—Olivia Newton John. Recently, my delightfully fun friend James and I discovered we both love the Aussie songbird with equal vigor and know the lyrics to almost all her songs, popular and obscure. It was a great surprise to know someone else aside from myself played the cassette of SOUL KISS as a teen in their car and know what the Dolphin Song is and what the album cover looks like. From XANADU to HEART ATTACK to the recent BACK WITH A HEART tunes, ONJ truly hit gold on many of her songs, and with the exception of some of her earlier 80's screeching songs, pretty much sounds lovely on everything . She was a guest judge on American Idol last season, and Olivia gives Paula a run for her money in the sweetness department. She is a pure spirit who cares about trees and breast cancer and dolphins and has been through her own trials and tribulations to make her that much more of an enriched artist. Itune some of her songs today you will not be disappointed. She is one of the greats, let us proclaim it loud and strong now while she is still alive because believe it or not our original Sandy in GREASE is going to be 60 this year! (not that that’s old really and I’m sure she'll be around a long time). Which reminds me- a moment of silence for a recent other great who passed this past week, Miss Beverly Sills.

Item 2:

Speaking of pure spirits, as some of you may or may not know, my closest friend Erin is a big Broadway star and her show Grey Gardens will be closing July 29 after over 300 performances! It all happened rather quickly really in a short 9 month span. The whole time has been incredible, and she has shared the whole experience with me, her family almost every step of the way. Proof of her sweet spirit and letting it feel like a win for all of us. Well I did tell her I would kick her ass if she didn’t return my phonecalls before she hit it big, but I digress. She even won the prestigious Theatre World award for best performance, and I was with her at the ceremony. What’s so bizarre is even though I am in the biz, I forget that this is THE Broadway community. It feels sort of like a High School prom or sorority house popularity contest. And you forget. I was so proud of her when she accepted her award, because I have seen her work so hard to be where she knows she should be. And now is her time and it really is magical. I cried during her speech because it really is a testimony to be careful what you wish for because it CAN and DOES come true. And what’s funny about show biz is you see these are just people like you and I. Because of her, I have been mingling with Broadway and Hollywood elite and you come to truly understand it means only what you subjectively assign it really. I continue to grow this quiet strength within that what I offer from my heart to help others is far more important than fame and fortune. And it is exciting to see my friend who I know is a quality person be elevated, because the fact is this business needs her really, and her good spirit. There were some performers who presented who were filled with their own ego. And then on a turn there were winners like Erin who illuminate something real. Genuine excitement without pretense.

Item 3:

This last piece of info comes with great devastation to me. Since working for Estee Lauder I have many many many skin care products at my disposal. And for the past month I have been doing a little project. I have been NOT been using anything really on my skin but sunscreen. And you know what? It actually is working pretty well. To add insult to injury, my previously mentioned friend James also informed me he only splashes his face with water and puts aloe plant juice on his awaiting dermis. And let me tell you; the boy has some luminous pores. My Mom pretty much does the same thing and at 62 she has great skin. So the day may approach when Thadd merely splashes his face with water and smears some green juicy aloe on it. When it comes, it will be a slow painful process, ridding myself of the potions and vitamin serums and anti-oxidant creams will likely compare to taking a dry martini with three plump green olives away from an alcoholic. Will Lindsey Lohans and Britneys rehab fate be mine? The Neutrogena rehab clinic for recovering skin care addicts? Stay tuned my blogmeisters....and reach for the skin stars!

Friday, I got the full works at John Allan company, a sort of chi chi spa for men with chains all over Manhattan.

My friend Ginger at work gave me a free gift card for this special treat, which I gratefully snatched up and received what John Allan calls the 'full service'; shoe shine, shampoo and conditioning treatment, scalp massage, haircut, manicure, beverage and a facial. The facials not included, I threw that in for a special treat. I'm beginning to realize treats that de-stress like these i.e. massages, etc are quickly becoming more of a necessity versus a luxury to survive New York stress.

The facial is what I'm going to get to delight in details to you. But for the moment…

I felt like a well treated English gentlemen upon my arrival served a beverage, a black coat and shoe shine upon my rather beat up payless shoe store brown shoes. They look brand spanking new I might say. My coworker had been there before and prewarned me to make sure I have tip money for all. Where's my dollar bills?? So tip I did. I skipped the manicure because I got my first manicure this past week with Erin, and the picking at hand flesh with blunt metal utensils was not something I was anxious to repeat. Um, yah why didn't anyone tell me manicures were painful?

But oh lawd I love the facials. If you know me well, you know I have always loved facials and so does my rather sensitive and unruly skin. I rarely get them, but when I do my skin loves 'em and I look like a neutrogena ad after. Last one I paid $15 for (coupons people) in Wisconsin and it was jamazing. I particularly enjoy the extraction part. After awhile the throbbing sting as the esthetician picks at your blackheads, pimples and clogged pores becomes masochistically enjoyable. More! More! More! *sigh.

I was not prepared for Theresa's facial expertise extraordinaire. I don't think I have ever had such a detailed extraction process. When she started digging at my nasal fold corners, and plucking beard hairs, well this was when I began to reconsider childbirth or open heart surgery without anesthetic as a more viable pain option. For those of you who have never had a facial it begins with cleansing, scrubbing, lots of steam from a scary tube, scrub scrub, the extractions, mask, lotions, potions and the best part…a strange outerspace zapping blue current wand that kills bacteria beneath the skins surface. It feels a little like getting licked by a cat. An electric cat. *Zap. Hey man, you are one electric cat, dawg. Cat? Dawg?

A sploosh more of this and that and voila…you're done. A new person.

For those of you pondering what to get me for my next birthday or xmas gift, I'll make this easy…….facials. Who else do you know who goes so ga ga for the za za wand and pick pick I ask? Or better yet, get yourself one. You'll never look back. A new day has come.

Oh lordy I just visited Glennis’s blog again! She is craaaazy ah love her meanderings.

So…A couple of things have been on my mind lately. I was recently introduced to the book/dvd THE SECRET. I’m sure many of you have heard about it too on Oprah, word of mouth, etc. It seems everybody is exuberantly excited about ‘THE SECRET”. The DVD, which I have watched, is sort of a Guru-infomercial-nostrodomos-y documentary with ancient music, special effects and testimonials. I really want to believe in it, but I find too many fallacies in its teachings. Even read an anti secret article in MENS HEALTH not buying it. Like, if the secret works right way with bad things like being late, and stubbing your toe etc why does it take its sweet time with money, partners and success? I dunno…I’m all for positive thinking and thoughts creating emotions but it just seems like something I’ve already implemented in my life…a sort of cognitive behavior therapy technique gone global.

This comes on the curtails of everything changing right now. I have two friends here leaving New York which has brought up much introspection on WHY I am here? It’s like the recent eclipse has caused a sort of disturbance of earths equilibrium. The recent horrific shootings at Virginia Tech, suicides, bizarre happenings something is in full tide here. And I feel a bit ship wrecked. I am once again swimming in a great complacency. I DEFINITELY feel stagnant, but not unhappy per say just thoughtful, hopeful. And I know this stagnancy is part of the ebb and flow of life and always comes around. Certain relationships in my life have recently changed too and been altered without me blinking an eye, and as much as I now expect change in my life I rarely embrace it. (side note: I have officially lived in New York long enough that I have definitely lost my manners with other bodies. I weave in and out of people, I say ‘excuse me’ less when bumping other humans (yah, the darn subway AGAIN!)…there it is the fluidity of people coming and going. What does this mean?

You know what else I’ve noticed regarding THE SECRET? My Ipod is sure filled with some durgy music. I try to skip to the more upbeat songs now and have been downloading fun stuff from Hilary Duff to Robin Thicke to show tunes….dont want Mr Ipod to manifest some bad heeby jeebies when a durgy Lee Anne Rimes scrolls into my earbuds. Even my Ipod is in flux. Ahhh Universe you wacky wafer.

Will the waves crash or coast over me effortlessly without a splash or sound? I guess time will tell……

Rainy days and mondays:

With the onset of horrible weather here on the east coast I've witnessed a sad sad reality of stormy days in the city. The murdered, abused, abandoned umbrella. A moment of silence for these tragic heroes of ours:




Not sure what this guy did to deserve this.

Pretty ghastly, if you ask me.

Now c'mon people, this one makes me want to cry. What did mr umbra' ever do to you?

There is an artist named Traci Talasco, who photographed broken umbrellas on the streets of New York for eight months. Perhaps she also understood the depth of this tragedy. It is epidemic.

Give your umbrella the respect it deserves in its untimely demise...dispose with respect.

Your shelter from the storm,

Thadd the Umbrella Whisperer.

When I was about 11 or 12, my Mom brushed by me in the kitchen and said in her usual dry wit "Come with me to the laundry room. Heres the deal--I'm not doing your laundry anymore". Off I followed her to our 70's brown shag basement, grunting all the way, while she taught me the ways the of the washing machine, dryer, soap levels, bounce sheets and folding technique. And so a new man/boy was born: Laundry Thadd. He who does his own laundry. After that I never wanted anyone else to do my laundry. Who would know how to fold my shirts the way I like? Or take out my favorite pair of jeans and t-shirt 10 minutes into the dry cycle to ensure no shrinkage? I actually enjoyed taking my clothes downstairs to wash, it was a form of therapy in my teens.

When I moved into my first apartment in Chicago there was luckily a washer and dryer in the basement! The stone room looked like a scene from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS but nevertheless it did its job, and I didn't have to go anywhere to get my underoo's spic and span.
Cut to living in New York and the far away Laundromat is my new friend. More like acquaintance/enemy as this was something I did not embrace. I felt the spoiled Thadd who's Mom used to wash his clothes surface as I lugged my mesh bag down the street, lug the soap, lug the hangers, hit my shins, fall over the rolly cart. Not so fun. The apartment here in Brooklyn used to have a Laundromat right outside our door. A vile prison, filled with screaming kids, machines that broke down and an irate angry owner who hated all humans in sight and smoked and drinked with his buddies outside our kitchen until all hours of the night...'Hi there scary laundry man, can I have some quarters please?" (silence, glares and spewing hatred) There also was this crazy Sri Lankin woman who would yell at her hyper 3 year old for climbing into the machines. It closed about six months ago and is now being renovated to become a pizza pub or something. Although I miss the convenience of it, I don't miss its hellish atmosphere. Now I go down two big blocks to the sudsy Clean Rite, a large bright place that despite its distance I semi enjoy going to. There's always a secret dread inside when I see my large laundry bag next to my dresser calling to me "Its lauuuundry day, Laundry Thadd". But I know at least Clean Rite is bareable. And there's a snack machine. As I continue apartment dwelling I know laundromat will always have to be visited, but I miss the days of a washer and dryer in the house. How blessed we were as a family to have this luxury. But for some reason, Laundromats here seem to remain a source of punishment for some long lost karmic debt. If only Mom never took me downstairs at 11, perhaps she would to this day still be folding my long johns.

In honor of Laundromats all around the world here are some recent signs I've seen blaring out laundromat windows. Laundromats. Heaven or Hell? You decide:

Okay so I'm writing this blog from my favorite coffee shop here in Brooklyn. (www.mycafesutra.com) . I go here often for my fav cup o' joe or iced caramel haff caff lattes. It's a little piece of heaven for me so peaceful and very Brooklyn-ey of me. Currently I am sipping on whats called a Good Karma Latte. Mmmmmm coffee.

My friend Glennis always tells me to write in my blog as I speak in real life so here I go peeps. I couldn't help but wonder, are all…..oh wait that's Carrie Bradshaw. Well then on with the showoooo...

So I finished THE ROSE PROJECT Off B'way last week. And if my heart had wings, it has flown what a great experience. It was the story of Tokyo Rose, which explored the mythology surrounding her in the 40's and the label servicemen used for women who broadcast propaganda during the war in the 1940's. It was absolutely fascinating tale of a womans life. The best part was our director Sonoko, such a gracious, gregarious and fun Japanese women who pronounced my name FADD and was completely engaged in the subject matter and inspired all of us around her. I didn't realize how much I missed performing on stage, since it's been awhile. I am always at odds with my performing career should I be doing this, should I not? But in so many intangible ways it always calls me back. I should be doing this and be at the top of my field. And this coming at my job job which feels like so much drudgery and personality clashes lately. I cannot be myself fully. But all in good time, everything in my life always seems to come at a later pace than my heart wants, it seems. I just know God has given me too much talent to waste and at least not use for the purpose of storytelling and understanding periodically.

Coming home after vacation was cathartic. It was nice to be home with the family. But how great it was to come back home to New York, this is where I belong and feel meant to be since coming here 5 years ago now. I was thrilled sitting on the subway coming back home. Who would have ever thought I'd love New York so much?

Okay so here are some random things I'm thinking of blogging about:
*Lone gloves or socks on the street
*Female stage managers
*Subway etiquette (oh lord I've lamented on this forever maybe not)
*You're the one that I want TV show
*Barack Obama

Okay maybe not....thoughts?

Don't forget to check out the 'Shop" section for Logo online (www.logoonline.com). It's MTV's new gay and lesbian network, and I'm the guy posing their online apparel. My Mom told me I looked handsome so there. Woop!

(ending credits scrolling)

Happy Holidays Blogmeisters! So it’s been an eventful December I must say. I am going home to Appleton, Wisconsin Dec 20-29 which I am beyond looking forward to. To think of getting out of the hustle and bustle oh how good it will be for the soul. Peaceful streets, Midwestern friendliness, target, no sirens. And Mom’s cooking! You never get too old for Mom’s cooking. She makes the best macaroni salad and lasagna that’s all I’m gonna say.

So here’s my December Derailings……(parooooooooooooom): Its been cold here in the 30’s, its funny to hear fellow New Yorkers running around saying how cold it is. I grew up in Chicago people, where some days it gets so cold your eyelashes freeze. It’s balmy! While at my friends show last week, I had a chance run in with a fellow performer named Max. Turns out we both played the same role in NERDS A MUSICAL SOFTWARE SATIRE. Him a year before elsewhere, me at the New York Music Theatre Festival 2005. It was so bizarre we both couldn’t believe the chance meeting. This on the curtails of our beloved show opening with a third cast in Philly in Jan. That’s the biz I suppose. Heres a photo of us!









Went skating with Erin at a GREY GARDENS party the other day at Chelsea Piers. Matthew Broderick was skating next to me (me skating being three hobbling circles around the rink whilst fearing my untimely demise). Quite a handsome looking chap, AND he is married to SJP so good thing she didn’t make an appearance or I may have hyperventilated. Photo op 2!









I spent all day on a National Cingular shoot last week, where I was not used unfortunately. However, I was paid, ate well, got to see Mount Claire New Jersey and I always enjoy being on film set. I really enjoy the process, it can be monotonous, but I enjoy its peaceful detail. What was also interesting were how people rent out their houses for film crews. It’s pretty much ransacked. Here’s me in my trailer…ok it wasn’t mine specifically but it could happen!



Have you noticed I'm a big fan of using several periods in succession like this..........?? Why is this I wonder?


You know what remains a ‘challenge’ for me (well go with that word--challenge) is my simultaneous love and hate of New York PARTICULARY the subway. I was telling my friend Jesse that living here has almost ruined me to live anywhere else really…there’s just so much culture, going out, shows, people, restaurants; all my way of life now. I take it for granted really. But it drives me insane too. This being as I am just about to embark on my trip back home, havent been home in a year! I am looking forward to the boredom, being nowhere- but at the same time apprehensive since I am a conditioned city boy. But oy the subway where every crazy kook can exist and ‘hesitation is death’ every day. "Homeless person yelling, I feel for you but I’m tired and cranky this morning can you just speak in hushed tones?," "Um excuse me lady I’m sorry my bag bumped your leg but this is New York here, there’s like 4 billion people here, so I’m doing my best with the 0 inches of space I have thanks so much"-- "Oh thank you vomit on the floor, I’m so glad I stepped in you and of course you too dear old friends pee, boogers or some other unknown liquid right where I sat”…(hanging my head in shame to what I have now vented) It’s like I am fully actualized here but have also made a couple of steps back in the patience and peace department. Who can figure it all out? Thank you India Arie for your musical wisdom and inspiration to get me through another day on the subway. Thank you Gandhi for reminding us “Be the change you want to see in the world” This I will try to remember this holiday season on the subway. On the streets. In my life.

And those-are my Holiday conundrums...Chrisma’ Hana Rama Kan Dona Kwanza my blog friends. May this season be blessed and stress free to you and yours.

Hello Blog Friends,

Okay those “Stress Tests” that you see set up in the subway and on the streets with odd machines attached saying come test your stress level. Um avoid avoid avoid. I sat down this past week at one, and the questions she was asking and the way she was encouraging something that wasn’t there led me to one big conclusion. Fraud City/ Fishy fishy fishy. I said “Okay I’m done!” to her weird way of not having a dialogue with me but rather egging some reaction on, and bolted out of the chair. Never gone do that again. I was probably mugged secretly.

I am becoming aware of that I am a bit obsessive compulsive about organization. Albeit me becoming a professional organizer, this is a bit weird. And it also doesn’t help that my roommate is INSANELY obsessive compulsive (sorry J!). But who am I too point when I have similar traits. I move things around, I like to make sure everything is put away. If I’m left at home without having to work or anything to do its organization central. I’ll fold and put coats and clothes away, clean, organize drawers, make sure products in the medicine cabinet are facing forward. It’s weird. Granted, I do let things get messy too. Especially if I'm having a busy week. But eventually, one day I get to it, and once again I organize. I wash my hands a lot too I don’t like that 'sticky hand' feeling. I walked by this kid the other day with an ice cream cone and he had let the entire thing sort of goop and smear all over his face. I almost passed out at the sticky sight. Where’s a handi wipe when you need one kids? I kind of want to be a macho messy man who drops clothes on the floor, spits and never cleans the bathroom. Am I truly set in my ways? I do leave dishes in the sink, and hate doing them really. But I do them eventually usually within a day. Okay maybe 6 hours. Macho man-dom here I come!

I walked the breast cancer awareness walk on Oct 15th (my Birthday). It was a ‘walk in the park’” as they say, 3 miles gone in a whoosh and money for a good cause. Felt good.

My TV spot a couple of weeks ago on Nick@Nite went so well. Good times. It’s amazing what they can do editing wise, as filming it at times can feel stagnant. I was so pleased with it and with the supportive friends and family who made the effort to watch it thank you!

Met a really cool composer named Bill. He lives in the upper east side in the most amazing condo and such respect I have for his artistic endeavors. Went to a rather crammed party with him last week, oy the small apartments here. So many amazing people living here wow.

New York New York…good with the bad.

Boy the other day I was a major New York asshole. When waiting for a bunch of tourists to figure out how to use their metra cards, I brusquely said “Can I get through I have somewhere to be!?”…can you believe that? New York makes you crazy some days, and I have officially become ‘wacko’. Gotta figure out how to not be like this again. It doesn’t help that it never slows down and that the payphone downstairs outside my apartment building has now become a crack phone for shady characters to use late at night. I digress.

Have I mentioned I’d like to meet Barack Obama?

And finally:

Simply Saline has become my new best friend...go to Walgreens and get the magic.

Holy Tuna Noodle Casserole! I’m Thadd the Sticky Finger man and that’s a wrap.

America's next top Blogger:

Here it is boys and girls, a new blog entry, a new month! October, the amazing fall and a big birthday for me on the 15th. I've been so inspired by the comedic brilliance of my friend Glennis's blog lately, she is so funny. Check her out you'll be an addict:

http://imaragingglesbian.blogspot.com/

Have any of you been watching all these reality talent type shows? Reluctantly last year I did get hooked on Americas Next Top Model thanks to friends oohs and ahh's over it. I don't know how I got hooked on this tv bologna. Well, considering I have like five channels on my tv, the options are slim pickin's.

Anyway, the other day watching the new season and I was amazed at the heaviness at which they set up these 'One of you is going home" moments. These girls weep, wail and have emotional breakdowns while Tyra and her possy leave every pinter pause and expectation blink full throttle, torturing these girls some no more than out of training bra's with their parental glances. It's a character judgement set up purposely for the eyes of the watching tv public, giving these girls the impression that this 'achievement' is what defines their worth, this progression on a fluffed television show is what makes them worthy as they proclaim suitcase in hand "I wont let this stop me! I know I'm a model!...separate of the fact that they just are here on this earth, and have been given life and beauty, a heart. What about that being enough?. This is what I am feeling so strongly about the entertainment industry, living here in New York its not just a joke-it's palpable on the streets you can see it and taste it. People vying to get ahead come hell or high water, to get that 'dream' no matter what it takes, to fight, kick and fight some more until somebody bleeds. You would think hearing about these things on TV, say in a 'join us next week when Blossom learns a valuble lesson about life" episode, would make them more enlightened…but it literally eats you up. Its kind of a sink or swim philosophy. I keep thinking I know I'm an artist, but THIS part, this trying to knock you down part, well I'll be damned if I'll swallow that pill. To trust God and the Universe more to just let you be- to see what other plans may be in store for you versus 15 minutes of fame. What's your integrity factor? How can you improve the world around you? What can you give? Get what you can get as you get it. I don't think we were put here to become America's next top whatever as the end all be all.Amen. Thoughts?

On a more lighter note and supportive of the tv, I have fallen in love with the new ABC show MEN IN TREES. Check it out, Fridays at 8pm. Could it be because it's the SATC writers?? And Anne Heche is charming and cute on it.

I went Samba dancing on the Hudson Pier with some friends last week. SO much fun, the eclectic mix of New York never ceases to amaze me (heres a photo of our samba clan on the Hudson Pier). I am going to being joining a friends group for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk around Prospect Park Oct 15th (My birthday) I'm excited about that. And finally, check out India Aries new CD on Itunes TESTIMONY VOLUME I LIFE & RELATIONSHIP and my friend DC Anderson's new cd I AM STILL. Download it all on Itunes--what did we do before I-tunes, I ask you all?

Happy Fall!

Transfusion of Happiness:

September! The fall has come. Ahhh the smell, the leaves, cool breezes, gap commercials (Daft punk was my favorite!) The ole blog. Now, when I type one, the posting has to be copied to myspace, friendster blah blah. But write it I shall and here are my musings for the fall, the most magical time of MY year.

If you are all wondering what’s up with me well I guess you can say I have been in a ‘recharging’ mode spiritually. Been very up and down lately, which could be our torrential downpours of rain and gloom. I have been limiting my auditions to my agent only which has been a pretty good decision. Got called in for HIGH FIDELITY on Broadway and have had commercials auditions for Dominoes, Spike TV and Comedy Central. Good for the audition pipes for certain. But surprisingly I’m not feeling any particular passion or drive at the moment. This palpable feeling of lethargy is something perhaps to be listened to rather than ignored. The last couple of shows I have done, I have felt zero to no excitement about. I am enjoying the focus on my on-camera auditions that’s true. I can’t help but trust that this time is necessary, there may be more important things brewing in my life then me in BYE BYE BIRDIE in Ohio or Oregon. I do have a very exciting film reading this Sunday, but I have to keep hush hush about that for the moment.

However my closest friend here, Erin Davie, who has been a blessing to me ever since I met her in 2003, has hit a huge milestone. She will be playing Young Edie on Broadway this fall in GREY GARDENS. Check this out:
http://www.broadway.com/Gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=535688
I’m so proud of my gal peep! Go see this, I’ll be there opening night.

I have been wanting to get out there and help others more. Volunteer, BigBrother, etc. Something. I need to make this happen and not procrastinate anymore. Maybe I should take an impromptu trip to Africa or somewhere. Something outside of myself.

I went to some Art Gallery openings with my friend Jesse yesterday. This was great fun. Every month near Chelsea, different artists unveil their new work to be auctioned, sold, etc…and you can pretty much stroll from one art gallery to the next seeing the best of New Yorks artists. And the best part, free wine! You can’t pass up free wine people. We were joined by some friends of Jesse, one who had a prosthetic arm. A bit into the evening, when asked how hard it was to enter a certain gallery, I said and I quote “I almost lost a limb in there!”…Sometimes I just don’t think before I speak, D-U-M-B.

And finally, I went to Lord and Taylor today to see SJP..also known as Sarah Jessica Parker. She was unveiling her new fragrance extension. I love her so, how beautiful she looked she will always be Carrie Bradshaw to me.

That’s it this month, rascally rabbits. Join me next blog entry when I speak of ‘Narcissists’…stay tuned it’s going to be a bumpy night.

Rewrite your script.

So...let it be heard throughout the land. I saw Meryl Streep in MOTHER COURAGE last night in Shakespeare in the Park by the Public Theatre. I don't even know if I can find the words to articulate how amazing she was....subtle, powerful and open. Such a nuanced and beautiful performer and woman. So great to see her up close like that! I would thoroughly recommend going to see this, for the overall experience too. We were in line at 5:30am that morning and had a blast waiting for 7 hours, on a blanket, in Central Park, eating, telling jokes, napping, the people. We met a psychiatrist and his son on one side, and Beano the singing Daschund on the other, a Regis and Kelly demi-celebrity. I'm not kidding, Beano and I enjoyed our own personal renditions of HAPPY BIRTHDAY and Christina Aguilera's GENIE IN A BOTTLE throughout the day. :) Only in New York can you see Meryl Streep and Beano the singing dog all for free. I love New York! (talk to me in a week).

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ‘the script we heard as a child’. I know I’ve heard this from Oprah to self help books, but this has hit me hard lately. Some profound analysis. I was talking on the phone with my Mom recently, and I realized how much I still want her attention and support. It’s like I will it to happen, she being the most influential and profound figure from my childhood. Do I carry this over into my adult relationships? What lies did I hear as a child? What were the lies you were told as a child that you now still believe is true? I mean really sit down with this one and think. We believe a lot of junk that is most likely not true and we're kind of floating about in our adult lives making decisions based on this in our careers, relationships, etc. The question is, what does God tell you about you? The trouble is, so often we can’t hear, can't distinguish what is our own instincts and what is the quiet whisper of something grander. Or sometimes the loud CLUNK over the head that wakes you up. To be really honest here, there are many times I don’t even believe in God as well. But I guess everyone has this time. There have been moments in my life where I know something bigger than me is present and at work. And times I feel hopeless, it's up and down. Missed accidents, interactions with people on the street or quiet reflection on a lakeshore. I like when I can stay in a place of gratefulness.... thats when life is splendid. Today, while having lunch with friends, my friend Maritza told us how her father has always preached "Keep God in the picture" and “love the people that are hard to love.” So extending this love is something we have to try. I find myself the most ‘judgmental’ here than anywhere else. It’s the sheer amount of people I guess. Maybe one of the reasons New York is difficult to find love, as people are always looking around the corner to find what they think is better instead of loving the one they're with. I just want to continue to try and grow, fall and get up, love, keep my priorities in order and remain grateful for life and the blessings already present.

Wanted to end with some favorite quotes I’ve read recently. I find them so inspirational, one from THE woman, my hero, Meryl :)

“We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss-we want more and more and then more of it. But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless; I am living…”
Marie Howe, from What the Living Do

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work, and ask the most and best of everybody else too. Don’t let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth--don’t let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency." –Meryl Streep

Cabrides, Crawfish and Cockroaches

I just spent last week in New Orleans opening WINE LOVERS. What a whirlwind and what an experience! From Crawfish to Moofalatahs to Seafood Gumbo, I was wined and dined (delicious food!) and definitely enlightened by this southern charmed mini paradise. I encourage all you bloggers to maybe take a moment and read on, as I can promise this to be a doozy of a blog.

After flying into New Orleans, we were greeted by a most delightful cabbie to our hotel, Paul. He talked about the personal effects of hurricane Katrina to his family and friends the entire ride, and I hungrily ate up each word. This man needed to tell his tale, and I needed to experience maybe just a bit of what he did through his storytelling. As we drove along the highway, you could see the leftover residual line on the highway cement walls from where the water line reached. Unbelievable.

The biggest thing I noticed was the overall sense of lackadaisical "lets just have a party" demeanor. A sort of drunk, country, college-frat boy vibe a fun French Bistro flavor in the air. In the French Quarters and downtown at least the sheer amount of parties and drunk people was crazy. Along with doing the show, we went to a number of wine events, scrumptious dinners and festivities, and I think I downed more Cabernet Sauvignon and Red Bicyclette Merlot than I ever have my entire life. And lets not forget Po' Boy sandwiches.

The only thing I want to say about the show was that it was the most challenging and frustrating memorization process I've had since doing WILL ROGERS FOLLIES years ago. But I think I delivered, which for the most part, I am pleased with. It was great to maybe introduce some people there to a premiere work and we all put a lot of hard work into it. My overall impression of discontentment with musical theatre still lingers though, and I really need to buckle down and examine my choices. But I digress...

Other Louisiana highlights...

As I was sitting in the dressing room, a HUGE cockroach (Louisiana water bug?) Casually climbed up and over my water bottle. I squealed like a 10 year old girl. Unbeknownst to me, Mr Coockaracha is a common mammal in New Orleans. Go figure.

Oh the characters we met. From the southern bar owners, the bums (or the "undesirables" as there are called there) to the majestic horses clamoring down the Boulevard with carriage and tourists in tow. And of course we cant forget: Miss Lisa..(see photo insert) a friend of our producer, she was beyond delightful...a blonde southern robust woman, with an infectious laugh, Delta Burke bravoondo and an open, physically affectionate demeanor ( she gave me a head massage at the bar!) She took us on a tour of Arnauds, the restaurant we had an amazing meal at, which weaved stories of the queen of the New Orleans festival, the extravagant gowns, the celebrities that have visited. A side note: My family has always known that I have a bizarre sort of clairvoyance for haunted areas and ghosts, and New Orleans was rampant with them. Almost every building we went into. I got the spooky heeby jeebies. (and cue on loud girl scream!)

And now to the most important leg of our visit: Our very delightful composer and music director arranged for our original cabbie Paul to give us a mini tour of Hurricane Katrinas devastation on our way to the airport. Although the water is gone, the effects remain. I felt such a perspective as we drove down each road with hundreds and hundreds of abandoned homes, a complete ghost town. Few inhabitants in ranshacked homes, and empty beautiful new homes as well, marked with government X's to indicate the dates the armed forces investigated them, lawns unmowed for a year and the faint yellow line on the front of each house indicating how far the water level came up. It was a beautiful day, sunny and bright.. no indication of the devastation this area had experienced less than one year ago. When we actually came upon the levee, the homes that were right in the path were completely destroyed, some cut in half, others just flood damaged beyond repair.

This is my life--it seems to put me exactly where I need at the right time to gain perspective. I'm typing this on the plane back to New York City. Am I ready to be back? Was I ready to experience New Orleans.---it was a profound trip as most trips are. I keep thinking of a phrase at the hotel written on the guest services book...""Travel should take you places"....words to live by. Thank you New Orleans.

Well here I am....mid rehearsal for WINE LOVERS (go to New Orleans May 22) mid working part time and searching SOHO stores for the occasional unique hat or beige socks. I haven't really been auditioning except for appointments here and there. I am thrilled my family is coming early July (first time here for Mom!) and I feel the Borough coffee shop writer in me bubbling and stirring verbage.

You know what? Central Park is beautiful..last week during my lunch break I went for a leisurely stroll through one of New Yorks famous landmarks Central Park by the 59th/Central Park Zoo entrance. It was a beautiful day of mid 60's, breezy and there wasnt too many people, a welcome break from 5th Ave and the hustle and bustle of tourists and shoppers...or is it hustlers? ;)

As I made my way through the plush entrances, and vending carts I found a cove about the river with a bridge and a brick over lay. I can see this from the 42nd floor where I work. It was breathtaking. Lo and beyold to my left, a flutist...my very own central park Stevie Wonder, floating beautiful tones into the crisp almost summer air. A magical surprise. He began with a Beatles tune. I stopped breathing and took it in:

"I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people. Ella Marigby Picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been;Lives in a dream.Waits at the window,Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.Who is it for?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?Father MacKenzie Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear;No one comes near.Look at him working,Nodding his socks in the night when there's nobody there.What does he care?All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong?I look at all the lonely people.I look at all the lonely people.Ella Marigby Died in the church and was buried alone with her name.Nobody came.Father MacKenzie Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from her grave.No one was saved.All the lonely people, where do they all come from?All the lonely people, where do they all belong? "

New York is a lonely city indeed...it seems to heighten every emotion you have. All the millions of people and it can make one melancholy. Was he melancholy? Will I have Ellas fate when I die? He began to play OVER THE RAINBOW. Just then, a squirrel came up to me, stared me right in the eye and invaded my social bubble with a bravness that I was spiritually lacking at the moment. Brave rodent! Brave me?

I strode back to the office, perhaps a bit spiritually renewed....and the office doors greeted me; reluctant, I walked through...enriched a bit by park magic and The Beatles.

The Lights of Brooklyn:

Last night something awful happened...certainly the worst that has happened around here on 6th Ave in Brooklyn, and I've lived here mainly in this apartment for the last 4 years. I had just completed eating my delicious bowl of Kashi Oat Crunch, after having a delightful evening seeing the new Broadway musical THE DROWSY CHAPERONE...as the *crunch-crunch reverberated in my head and the warbling sounds of my Itunes on shuffle gently played, there came a bizarre sound from outside. The sound of a man howling. Being used to bizarre sounds in Brooklyn, I continued to eat my cereal and pitter on the computer. But it kept coming..over and over in succession. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I strained to see outside the kitchen window. On the apartment two buildings away, there was a man, no more than his early twenties, pacing and yelling on the roof. Extreme anger and pain was coming out of him. He then began throwing bricks or something down in the neighboring lawns. There was a woman's voice from below yelling, his mother from what I could hear, and they were arguing. "You never listen to me anyway maaaa"!!...he was either high or enraged or both. Was he going to kill himself I couldn't decipher? My best friend called and I asked him should I call the police? No sooner had this been said than, like a whirlwind, police cars were all around, and believe it or not, a helicopter floating above our apartment. Yes, a helicopter outside the window. Helicopters and cops and neighbors yelling, a proverbial Armageddon on 6th ave. It sounded like they shot something at him, (stun gun?) and I couldn't tell if he himself had a gun..and he became more erratic and paced, like a caged animal up there. I didn't stay in the window long out of fear a brick would go through ours, although not sure he could have thrown that far. The blaring light from the helicopter was beaming in our window like close encounters of the third kind and I didn't want to be a clear shot for him if indeed he did have a gun. So the neighbor-war continued, for about an hour, with me hiding in my room, a sort of tomb-like room that makes me feel like it would protect me from a nuclear holocaust. How did my roommate sleep through all this for gosh sake?

This was pretty scary. I have already been lamenting I need a vacation from New York...this may be a sign that a cruise or flight to Nashville is beyond necessary now. My friend DC says that love and peace brings up everything that is not like it...how do you bring peace and love to a situation where a madman is going to potentially kill himself or someone else by throwing himself off the building? They obviously found him a threat to society or else they wouldn't of flown a friggin helicopter to the sight. Is this the norm here? Man did I grow up in the sheltered suburbs of the Midwest.

Not sure what happened to the mystery roof man, because after an hour of this, like a sudden storm, all was silent outside...and I was left with my thoughts, anxiety and a sleepless night. The stress of life and pain causing someone to snap like this. Why does this feel so frightening? What stops any of us from snapping like this? And how much do I feel for this faceless man, atop the rooftop brewing over with pain...and him seeing no light at the end of the tunnel but the blare of a police helicopter lighting up the night sky in Brooklyn....

It's a jungle out there:

Okay, I havent updated my blog in a long time. I'm sure all you blog naysayers have been waiting on pins and needles for my latest squanderings (okay maybe only my friend Cara reads this but hey if you've touched one person you've touched the world...hee hee)
I often talk about New York, you think I would talk about something else for gords sake. But it is sort of an overbearing sibling who gets all the attention in the family (wait that would be me growing up I guess..sorry to my sister Denise. Just cuz I decided to be ON the stage..see if she would have just been an actor too...complete aside, but I've always had this reoccurring dream of Denise being a musical theatre actress and dazzling audiences as Polly in CRAZY FOR YOU...there would be no competition I would be thrilled to have a fellow Thespian sibling..and no my sister is not anything that rhymes with thespian....*cough) . But I digress...I have come to some huge conclusions about the insanity that is New York and what to be prewarned about if you are a newcomer. My thoughts are as follows:

Avoid Times Square, Union Square, Macy's Square...anything with Square in the title and intersections in the vicinity of Anything/Broadway. For some reason these areas are jammed to the hilt with MILLIONS of frenetic people, and attempting to move/walk forward is like an Atari game in it's final round where you are losing bad in an untimely manner with the chime sounding loudly any second. The last couple of weeks I have been aching for a vacation. I have to get out soon, to some deserted Island...where King Kong will snatch me up in a frenzy and protect me from big dinosaurs and waterfalls...and then eventually bring me back to the top of the Empire State Building in...NEW YORK CITY! NOOOOOOOOO!! ;)
Again I digress...
I have been starting to on-line date pretty extensively lately, and it has been very enlightening. I actually had TWO dates in one night recently...and what I learned from that experience is A) New York is a HARD city to date in. SEX AND THE CITY was written for a reason and that is because its damn true. And B) There has to be a spark there...a chemistry right away that you cant really determine from on line. I know this is kind of dumb and 19-year old minded but...nevertheless. Where is the Dr Phil theory that 'you have to be friends first' and love will grow from friendship? It's all relative and confusing...when does one finally grow up and not look for fireworks instantly? But it is great to be out there and dating and believing in something true, and the possibility that what you want is 'on its way to you' as you speak. I recommend online dating, it is very cathartic. And it's better than bars c'mon.
Yep yep yep....
So those are my Saturday musings and perplexed ponderings. Blogging is our map to the mind...woop!

"Rainy days and sundays always get me dooooown"- Oh, I know its Mondays. But doesnt Sunday fit better? Ah the late great Karen Carpenter...voice like spun silk.

Nothing much to report here on the Blog front. I have meeting many random people on the subway for some reason. And then having lengthy conversations. How strange, yet delightful.

Career news. I have a film audition tomorrow after work. And the TONK movie is still cruisin for financial support. Any offerings? New headshots are done (www.dcanderson.net for anyone interested, hes my dear friend very very affordable!) and my reel is going to be on the website very very soon.

Peace.

Celebrity Sightings by Thadd.

Okay, wanted to share one of my most exciting celebrity meetings to date. I met Richard Dreyfuss the other day! Due to the large snowstorm, most of the celebrities in Manhattan were forced to take public transportation. He was on the subway ramp can you believe it? Those who know me, know when it is a celebrity, someone I really love and admire, I HAVE to go up and say something without hesitation. And so I did. The conversation, though brief, was as follows:

Thadd: Excuse me, are you Richard Dreyfuss?

Richard: (slightly apprehensive of the freak named Thadd) Yess.

Thadd: I'm Thadd. I just wanted to tell you I'm a HUGE fan of your work, and you are such an inspiration to me. I love you!

(Huge high five handshake by THE Richard Dreyfuss with a big smile)

Richard: Thank you!

Thadd: Well, have a great day, so nice meeting you!

Richard: You too!

(Thadd faints from excitement)

Okay, I didn't really faint but next to Olympia Dukakis, who I met in November, this was one of my favorites. He was such a delight. I guess I am becoming a 'star gazer'..tell me no world.

I also saw Colin Cowie the other day outside my office. Big woop. :)

New York Times review for THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW!


The review from Talkin Broadway.

AND

American Theatre Webs review

Well, we have just opened THE BOOK OF THE DUN COW at Prospect Theater. Here is a link to the press we've gotten so far. I'll post any reviews as soon as they come out. First, as a reminder, each member of our cast gets 2 personal comps (aside from industry and AEA comps)so to my union friends, if you're interested in coming, you get in free with your card. The theater only seats 74 on the risers and an additional 11 people in the balcony, so it can fill up fast. It's a good show, with wonderful music and unique themes. I have to admit, it is exciting to be part of these NY premiere new works. One of the most amazing things was at our opening night party, there were almost ten students from Valparaiso University in Indiana who had DROVE up to see the show (thats right, drove). Walter Wangerin, who wrote the Award Winning Novel, is their professor, and he is unfortunately quite ill. In his support, they all came to see it opening night. AMAZING. It was great meeting them and sharing in their enthusiasm for the project.

But once again, I find myself introspective about doing theatre, mainly musical theatre. I talk about this alot, and am reminded about snippets in a great book I've mentioned before; SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES and the countless conversations I've had with my close friends. How BAD do you really want to do this? If you're unhappy what is the payoff and what is invested in this for your personally? The rehearsal process for DUN COW was exhaustive, mixed in with my full time work schedule, and lots of dancing, moving and positioning...by a great choreographer mind you (Got it? Keep it. Make sense? ;) however I KNOW, and have known for quite some time, I am someone who no longer wants to artistically express bouncing around the stage...I am NOT nor will I ever be a dancer, and I like that about my life and enjoy the peaceful moments more now anyway. I enjoy exercise and being able to CONTROL the pace of my human movement momentum ;) My dear friend Amber said when I first arrived, that New York really puts to the forefront HOW BAD do you really want to do this? EVERYONE is here to be an actor, and they are cut throat and determined..and often blind to the WHYS of why they have chosen this profession in the first place(insights from SMART ACTORS FOOLISH CHOICES). You need to examine why at some point. For me, I know I need to shift something here, I just need to examine a bit more...and I will!


Relating, things are moving forward with PLAYIN GOODE IN THE HOUSE OF TONK, the film I'm doing this spring. Cool thing is the original SHAFT Richard Roundtree has committed to it, and the director told me talks about Lawrence Fishburne making an appearance are possible. WOW. I play a sort of ghostly bartender. It's a great part I hope the financial revenue all comes through...we'll see. REALLY excited about it. And...excited to be in the peaceful 'non dancing' realm of da filmmaking.;)

And...I digress once again, February friends. Keep the whitelight burning.

Well, here we are Dec 29....post strike (thank you MTA), post Christmas (thank you New Balance gym shoes) and pre New Year 2006; the year I vow to make sleep my #1 priority. I remember being a teenager, and my parents bellowing yells at me never wanting to get up for school. Now I know it's just part of my nature...to need sleep like a hybernating bear, or else my entire world falls apart.

Trip home to Illinois and Wisconsin was good. It's hysterical how when you first get back there, everything seems to be going in slow motion. My friend Kathleen was like 'Oh the traffic is bad today' as I stared at the trickle of cars moving like snails down 290. It was too short a visit, but I'm glad I came, and I am glad to be back too. I do have to say the bus trip up from Chicago to Appleton was more annoying than about 4 weeks worth of riding the New York subway system (and that's pretty bad too I spent four hours in a car last week from 59th to Brooklyn). An example of the characters are as follows: loud, obnoxious talking to everybody in sight 20 year old mother of two who just began her service in the Army, loud ghetto man talking incessesantly on his cellphone, bitter bus driver woman who wouldnt tell you what the next stop was, and crying hysterical teenage girl who's friends baggage made us 45 minutes late!...so much for the Christmas spirit. If Jesus is the reason for the season, I wish he would have taken this bus ride with me.

Went to the doctor to get checked up, and good news; he said my Cholesterol levels are 'below average' for cardiovascular disease, which I am thrilled about. That soymilk and whole grain cereal must be working.

On the career front, I will be starting rehearsals for THE BOOK OF DUN COW at Prospect Theater in Manhattan. It's a new work, a sort of allegorical tale about animals and status, and I'm really excited to be working with this group of people. I am going to continue working at my full time job at Clinique Creative, so hopefully I will not run myself to the ground. As we know from the above, sleep is my milieu, my muse. Got called in last week for Mark in the National tour of RENT. This is the third time I've been called in, cast me already geez. Going to a master class Jan 9, and I just reread CALLBACK by Ginger Howard Friedman, which was inspiring. I love the story in it where she mentions chatter with the casting staff is good but assume nothing, and that she chatted and whooped it up for 10 minutes one time auditioning for a Broadway musical. She never heard from them again.

In conclusion....um.....I think....*cough....okay I have nothing to say in conclusion. This is a blog, not the Constitution.;)