Sunday, March 30, 2008

Okay so my friend Brian and Cindy have asked about when I am going to update my blog. So here is an entry (after months of poking around and no postings). This isn’t to say I have not been writing. A couple of my essays are so personal (which means they could be universally powerful perhaps?) that I can’t bring myself to post them just yet, I'm too shy. Regardless, I am starting to label myself as a ‘writer’ (although none of my works have been published, I’ve never written a book and I am still wading in the short stories for magazine articles pool). But nevertheless, we are what we think we are and I’m seein the big picture here. So, with that I continue pen to paper (eh.. finger to keyboard?).

Let us start by stating a couple of exciting facts in the world de Thadd;

1)They opened a 7 eleven by my apartment. I grew up in the Midwest. Need I say more?
Tres excitement.

2) My roommate and I painted and redecorated our living room. Think lavender plum, willow bark and new candles. Ikea would be proud.

3)I read EAT PRAY LOVE by Elisabeth Gilbert and I can’t say enough good things about it. So inspiring, in reading it I teared up as many times as I guffawed out loud at the wittiness. A must read.

4) India Arie will be on Broadway this summer. You can bet your ass I will be there.

Here’s a revisting of past blog oldie but goodies. My best friend Pat and I have been chatting lately about all the usual things we chat about. Life, liberty, money, American idol, relationships. Ours is a friendship (more of a brother-ship) going on 25 years now, so needless to say we’ve covered all topics from Gandi to traffic violations to best methods for snow removal. Well lately, he and I have been discussing conflicts in relationships. I think I’ve come to a big aha in my life regarding them. I want resolution and closure when relationships do not work out. And in the same breath, I think I seek out TOO many relationships thus spreading myself too thin. In dating sometimes (experts say to get out there and date date date play the field) and in friendships (hey, New York is a social place it’s nice to have options). The problem I run into is I have too much expectation that ALL my relationships should be close and bonding and spiritually enlightening. And that is not realistic. My friend Laurie once told me, ‘Thadd, you need to compartmentalize the types of friends you have. The multi facets; the close dear friend, the friend from work, the casual friend, the friend you go out and have fun with, the crisis friend, the friend of a friend”. This is very valuable information she shared with me, helps me immensely. I like to call it ‘different friends for different trends’. Here’s something else that I think is valuable information. No one is worrying as much about you as YOU are. Go about your life, do what makes YOU happy and don’t worry about other people. Let them do what makes THEM happy. And with that information, become acutely aware that sometimes the two may not blend, and you have two choices then; adapt and compromise for that person or move on. No relationship can be molded, fixed, it is something that exists in its own definition, in it’s own realm. It doesn’t serve either people if the relationship doesn’t uplift.

ONE exception to this is, the relationship that, if you let it, makes you grow if you stick with it. And with that I’d like to end with a quote from EAT PRAY LOVE. I hope you get out of it as much as I did. Viva the growth-ful relationship!

“Richard-from-Texas's explanation of what a soul mate really is (p. 149): "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change you life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."

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