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Sunday, October 14, 2007



It's official...

I am without question...without further wonder...

A black person trapped in a white persons body.

I saw Three Mo Tenors Off Broadway on Saturday and if ever there was a show for me, it's this one. I friggin loved it.

I'm so over being white, that's all I'm gonna say.

*sigh

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Last Sunday I went with my peeps Brian, Kim and Erin to their friend place near Weehawken New Jersey.She is this sort of cute, small Vietnamese woman with an amazing condo overlooking Manhattan and I’m not kidding when I say I had the most amazing meal I have ever eaten. A sort of blend of chicken curry’s and red sauce shrimps and salads with a unique dressing over them. Better than any restaurant I have ever eaten at. I guess a couple of her recipes have been published and that is no surprise to me because I ate my weight in a small Vietnamese country there of all the delicious foods she laid out. Thank you God!

I also attended the wedding of my delightful friend Chris Kale Jones this past week, here’s a photo. Hes Frankie Vallie on the JERSEY BOYS tour til Jan go see him.














Been talking with some friends how a blog about the acting types I encounter at auditions is long overdue. For those of you not in the biz, the Equity open calls in New York are quite the show in and of themselves. Why hasn’t anyone written a show about this yet have they?(Chorus Line?) I may offend, and please forgive me if I do, but in the spirit of actory authenticity here are a few standouts:


1)Scary monitor person who is starved for attention to be onstage and is pretty much performing a one man/one woman show the entire time (Monitors are union members who oversee the auditions FYI)

2)20 something girl with full stage pancake makeup, fake eyelashes, rollered hair and an unrelenting desire to looking at herself constantly in any available mirror within eye shot. She often is making a “THRRRRRRRRRRRP’ lip warm up sound and asking whoever is next to her what they are singing, what voice type they are, who is their agent, what shows they have been in and what they think of LEGALLY BLONDE the musical.

3)Gay chorus dancer boy who has many of the 20 something girl traits listed above. His age can fall into higher or lower brackets however and can sometimes (though not always) have more of a nasal ping and Americas next top model walk.


4)Pompous theatre man (usually married) who is about 7 feet tall, business man haircut, wears penny loafers, cracks witty comments, talks shop with the fella’s and has played Emile in South Pacific, And any and all roles from all of Tennessee Williams plays. Mostly straight but can also fall into the category of closeted gay who thinks no one has figured that out yet. From Alabama or Florida.


5)Deep sullen quiet method actor type. Male or female. In full concentration mode of whatever sides or music or monologue they are about to zealously present. Often chattering out loud to no one, reciting their art and wearing sort of black turtleneck-y churchy buttoned up dark colored layers. Often will swear out loud if they have unfortunately missed when their name was called by the monitor. Something is deeply troubled about them, and they are looking to the vastly stable acting profession to give them healing they need from childhood.


6)Mother earth theatre woman. Late 50’s and above. Instantly calms the room as she enters peripatetically. She smiles at everyone, and you find yourself clamoring to connect with her so she can teach you her wise ways, and how the hell to last and stay sane in this crazy profession. Dramatic but no hint of pretension. Cast often as Mary Poppins or the grandmother in the tree types. Common names include Annie, Fran or Mary.


7)Opera singer wanna be musical theatre performer who sings I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM or AVE MARIA with enough breath support to blow over the manger.


8)Crazy 40 something woman with a headshot from 1980. Still coming to open calls, still asking where and when the show is, who’s directing, WHY the washrooms are not close by. She will then start knitting or playing cards and showing photos of her dog Fifi and lamenting how many shows she has done.


9)Sweet friendly ingĂ©nue type. Voted most popular in high school and not a shred of pretension in her body. Genuinely interested in your life, welfare outside of what show youre in. She is prepared, clean ironed dress and soft natural hair and makeup. 20’s-30’s. Can be raised by psychologist or doctor parents and asks you open ended questions about yourself. Smells like expensive perfume and wears character shoes and sings like a sista'.


And finally the worse, the most scandalous of all these people- the one you wouldn’t invite home to mother if someone paid you or offer your leftover twinkie to; bitter ball change burnt out actor singer (male, 30 something), has black framed glasses, paid his dues singing in grandmas basement, thinks he’s above it all, writes fervently in his blog and is oh so tired of all the other types…but pays them homage in journalistic fashion as only he can do.

:D

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."



Thursday, September 06, 2007

Oh yah yu betcha…,

I have just returned from Nashville last weekend and boy was it fun to be in the land of Dolly and Amy Grant. A bit too conservative for me to live permanently but I enjoyed visiting there for sure. In July I visited my Family which was a fulfilling visit back home to the land of ohs and ahs and cheeky cheese of delightful Appleton Wisconsin. I’m not originally from Wisconsin mind you my Mom moved up there to be close to my sisters family years ago. But this is where I go home now to see my family. With the Midwestern drawl of my ae vowel though I am often accused of being from Wisconsin but not true friends. Getting there is not that easy really it requires planes trains and automobiles galore. I have to take a train or cab to the airport, fly into Milwaukee then find my way up to Appleton Wisconsin from there. But needless to say, it’s worth it if you live moment to moment and enjoy the ride (sort of a metaphor for life right?).

We surprised my Mom this time she didn’t know I was coming in for a visit. My sister and I were in cahoots for weeks planning and my sister did an excellent job of keeping it hush hush. It came off without a hitch as Mom pretty much stared at me like she didn’t know who I was in shock. There is such a difference between New York and the Midwest. The guy at starbucks there gave my Mom a free iced tea just because she had a nice smile. Amazing. THIS is what I miss about the Midwest. I love the energy and pulse of my life in new york but I sure miss some of the simpler pleasures too like car rides, quiet lawn talks and chain restaurants. I’m probably repeating some of my blog entries here but it resurfaces for me. We all went to a water park and man was that fun. Um, I fell asleep in the chair outside which definitely wouldn’t happen anywhere near the big apple. I also completely abandoned my exercise and eating habits which was a most beautiful release. Hello bratwurst, pizza, ice cream, mac and cheese, suddenly salad, potatoe chips and Moms breakfast! Hey what else are vacations for?My friend Amber came up to see me that saturday (complete with us sneaking into a Radisson hotel to soak our feet in the pool) and my friends Amy and Nick on Monday (to eat the one final horrible meal at Perkins) and my trip home was complete.

Something that’s been on my mind lately is the process of people coming and going in your life. Two quotes come to mind, one from the musical WICKED;

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives, for a reason. Bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return. Well I don’t know if I believe that’s true but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.”

The other is the basic people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Often if it is a reason, they or you will say something to end the relationship and that’s it. As I’m getting older, I’ve started to embrace this process rather than fight it. How have I contributed to these seasonal relationships? Is it their fault? Is it mine? What was I looking for in that relationship that I cant give myself? There have been times in the past where the finger of blame was pointed accusingly (myself being guilty too) but what I’m discovering is as you get stronger in self acceptance, people who may not be good for you fall away. And new people come in their place if you embrace their arrival. And these could have a season too you just don’t know. In some ways, we have no control over it it just is a right of passage in life. Ive always been someone who has a lot of friends and I have been good about pursuing and maintaining those. But I’m discovering this may not be working for me anymore. And that there is comfort being very clear who the people are in my life who have been with me through the good times and the bad times. Meeting new people is great, but there’s something to be said about spreading yourself too thin and knowing who your closest friends are. Friends, lovers, sometimes family….sometimes they have reasons and seasons. And does it serve either of you if you cling to something that is showing you its time to move on? To learn the lesson, to experience the season or to embrace the lifetime of the relationship. Maybe this is being finally an adult and sometimes it really bites....but to continue to wish these people well on THEIR journey and thank them for the lesson....

Friday, July 06, 2007



Zip bam boom! The long awaited summer blog entry is here. After much deliberation and careful thought and examination I am filled with lyrical word play to express in the blog form. Alert the press!

First off, I want to come clean about an exquisite singer I have loved for over 20 years and am not ashamed to admit it, my friends. And that is the great—Olivia Newton John. Recently, my delightfully fun friend James and I discovered we both love the Aussie songbird with equal vigor and know the lyrics to almost all her songs, popular and obscure. It was a great surprise to know someone else aside from myself played the cassette of SOUL KISS as a teen in their car and know what the Dolphin Song is and what the album cover looks like. From XANADU to HEART ATTACK to the recent BACK WITH A HEART tunes, ONJ truly hit gold on many of her songs, and with the exception of some of her earlier 80's screeching songs, pretty much sounds lovely on everything . She was a guest judge on American Idol last season, and Olivia gives Paula a run for her money in the sweetness department. She is a pure spirit who cares about trees and breast cancer and dolphins and has been through her own trials and tribulations to make her that much more of an enriched artist. Itune some of her songs today you will not be disappointed. She is one of the greats, let us proclaim it loud and strong now while she is still alive because believe it or not our original Sandy in GREASE is going to be 60 this year! (not that that’s old really and I’m sure she'll be around a long time). Which reminds me- a moment of silence for a recent other great who passed this past week, Miss Beverly Sills.

Item 2:

Speaking of pure spirits, as some of you may or may not know, my closest friend Erin is a big Broadway star and her show Grey Gardens will be closing July 29 after over 300 performances! It all happened rather quickly really in a short 9 month span. The whole time has been incredible, and she has shared the whole experience with me, her family almost every step of the way. Proof of her sweet spirit and letting it feel like a win for all of us. Well I did tell her I would kick her ass if she didn’t return my phonecalls before she hit it big, but I digress. She even won the prestigious Theatre World award for best performance, and I was with her at the ceremony. What’s so bizarre is even though I am in the biz, I forget that this is THE Broadway community. It feels sort of like a High School prom or sorority house popularity contest. And you forget. I was so proud of her when she accepted her award, because I have seen her work so hard to be where she knows she should be. And now is her time and it really is magical. I cried during her speech because it really is a testimony to be careful what you wish for because it CAN and DOES come true. And what’s funny about show biz is you see these are just people like you and I. Because of her, I have been mingling with Broadway and Hollywood elite and you come to truly understand it means only what you subjectively assign it really. I continue to grow this quiet strength within that what I offer from my heart to help others is far more important than fame and fortune. And it is exciting to see my friend who I know is a quality person be elevated, because the fact is this business needs her really, and her good spirit. There were some performers who presented who were filled with their own ego. And then on a turn there were winners like Erin who illuminate something real. Genuine excitement without pretense.


Item 3:

This last piece of info comes with great devastation to me. Since working for Estee Lauder I have many many many skin care products at my disposal. And for the past month I have been doing a little project. I have been NOT been using anything really on my skin but sunscreen. And you know what? It actually is working pretty well. To add insult to injury, my previously mentioned friend James also informed me he only splashes his face with water and puts aloe plant juice on his awaiting dermis. And let me tell you; the boy has some luminous pores. My Mom pretty much does the same thing and at 62 she has great skin. So the day may approach when Thadd merely splashes his face with water and smears some green juicy aloe on it. When it comes, it will be a slow painful process, ridding myself of the potions and vitamin serums and anti-oxidant creams will likely compare to taking a dry martini with three plump green olives away from an alcoholic. Will Lindsey Lohans and Britneys rehab fate be mine? The Neutrogena rehab clinic for recovering skin care addicts? Stay tuned my blogmeisters....and reach for the skin stars!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Friday, I got the full works at John Allan company, a sort of chi chi spa for men with chains all over Manhattan.

My friend Ginger at work gave me a free gift card for this special treat, which I gratefully snatched up and received what John Allan calls the 'full service'; shoe shine, shampoo and conditioning treatment, scalp massage, haircut, manicure, beverage and a facial. The facials not included, I threw that in for a special treat. I'm beginning to realize treats that de-stress like these i.e. massages, etc are quickly becoming more of a necessity versus a luxury to survive New York stress.

The facial is what I'm going to get to delight in details to you. But for the moment…

I felt like a well treated English gentlemen upon my arrival served a beverage, a black coat and shoe shine upon my rather beat up payless shoe store brown shoes. They look brand spanking new I might say. My coworker had been there before and prewarned me to make sure I have tip money for all. Where's my dollar bills?? So tip I did. I skipped the manicure because I got my first manicure this past week with Erin, and the picking at hand flesh with blunt metal utensils was not something I was anxious to repeat. Um, yah why didn't anyone tell me manicures were painful?

But oh lawd I love the facials. If you know me well, you know I have always loved facials and so does my rather sensitive and unruly skin. I rarely get them, but when I do my skin loves 'em and I look like a neutrogena ad after. Last one I paid $15 for (coupons people) in Wisconsin and it was jamazing. I particularly enjoy the extraction part. After awhile the throbbing sting as the esthetician picks at your blackheads, pimples and clogged pores becomes masochistically enjoyable. More! More! More! *sigh.

I was not prepared for Theresa's facial expertise extraordinaire. I don't think I have ever had such a detailed extraction process. When she started digging at my nasal fold corners, and plucking beard hairs, well this was when I began to reconsider childbirth or open heart surgery without anesthetic as a more viable pain option. For those of you who have never had a facial it begins with cleansing, scrubbing, lots of steam from a scary tube, scrub scrub, the extractions, mask, lotions, potions and the best part…a strange outerspace zapping blue current wand that kills bacteria beneath the skins surface. It feels a little like getting licked by a cat. An electric cat. *Zap. Hey man, you are one electric cat, dawg. Cat? Dawg?

A sploosh more of this and that and voila…you're done. A new person.

For those of you pondering what to get me for my next birthday or xmas gift, I'll make this easy…….facials. Who else do you know who goes so ga ga for the za za wand and pick pick I ask? Or better yet, get yourself one. You'll never look back. A new day has come.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Oh lordy I just visited Glennis’s blog again! She is craaaazy ah love her meanderings.

So…A couple of things have been on my mind lately. I was recently introduced to the book/dvd THE SECRET. I’m sure many of you have heard about it too on Oprah, word of mouth, etc. It seems everybody is exuberantly excited about ‘THE SECRET”. The DVD, which I have watched, is sort of a Guru-infomercial-nostrodomos-y documentary with ancient music, special effects and testimonials. I really want to believe in it, but I find too many fallacies in its teachings. Even read an anti secret article in MENS HEALTH not buying it. Like, if the secret works right way with bad things like being late, and stubbing your toe etc why does it take its sweet time with money, partners and success? I dunno…I’m all for positive thinking and thoughts creating emotions but it just seems like something I’ve already implemented in my life…a sort of cognitive behavior therapy technique gone global.

This comes on the curtails of everything changing right now. I have two friends here leaving New York which has brought up much introspection on WHY I am here? It’s like the recent eclipse has caused a sort of disturbance of earths equilibrium. The recent horrific shootings at Virginia Tech, suicides, bizarre happenings something is in full tide here. And I feel a bit ship wrecked. I am once again swimming in a great complacency. I DEFINITELY feel stagnant, but not unhappy per say just thoughtful, hopeful. And I know this stagnancy is part of the ebb and flow of life and always comes around. Certain relationships in my life have recently changed too and been altered without me blinking an eye, and as much as I now expect change in my life I rarely embrace it. (side note: I have officially lived in New York long enough that I have definitely lost my manners with other bodies. I weave in and out of people, I say ‘excuse me’ less when bumping other humans (yah, the darn subway AGAIN!)…there it is the fluidity of people coming and going. What does this mean?

You know what else I’ve noticed regarding THE SECRET? My Ipod is sure filled with some durgy music. I try to skip to the more upbeat songs now and have been downloading fun stuff from Hilary Duff to Robin Thicke to show tunes….dont want Mr Ipod to manifest some bad heeby jeebies when a durgy Lee Anne Rimes scrolls into my earbuds. Even my Ipod is in flux. Ahhh Universe you wacky wafer.

Will the waves crash or coast over me effortlessly without a splash or sound? I guess time will tell……

Monday, April 16, 2007

Rainy days and mondays:


With the onset of horrible weather here on the east coast I've witnessed a sad sad reality of stormy days in the city. The murdered, abused, abandoned umbrella. A moment of silence for these tragic heroes of ours:




Not sure what this guy did to deserve this.












Pretty ghastly, if you ask me.







Now c'mon people, this one makes me want to cry. What did mr umbra' ever do to you?







There is an artist named Traci Talasco, who photographed broken umbrellas on the streets of New York for eight months. Perhaps she also understood the depth of this tragedy. It is epidemic.

Give your umbrella the respect it deserves in its untimely demise...dispose with respect.

Your shelter from the storm,

Thadd the Umbrella Whisperer.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

When I was about 11 or 12, my Mom brushed by me in the kitchen and said in her usual dry wit "Come with me to the laundry room. Heres the deal--I'm not doing your laundry anymore". Off I followed her to our 70's brown shag basement, grunting all the way, while she taught me the ways the of the washing machine, dryer, soap levels, bounce sheets and folding technique. And so a new man/boy was born: Laundry Thadd. He who does his own laundry. After that I never wanted anyone else to do my laundry. Who would know how to fold my shirts the way I like? Or take out my favorite pair of jeans and t-shirt 10 minutes into the dry cycle to ensure no shrinkage? I actually enjoyed taking my clothes downstairs to wash, it was a form of therapy in my teens.


When I moved into my first apartment in Chicago there was luckily a washer and dryer in the basement! The stone room looked like a scene from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS but nevertheless it did its job, and I didn't have to go anywhere to get my underoo's spic and span.
Cut to living in New York and the far away Laundromat is my new friend. More like acquaintance/enemy as this was something I did not embrace. I felt the spoiled Thadd who's Mom used to wash his clothes surface as I lugged my mesh bag down the street, lug the soap, lug the hangers, hit my shins, fall over the rolly cart. Not so fun. The apartment here in Brooklyn used to have a Laundromat right outside our door. A vile prison, filled with screaming kids, machines that broke down and an irate angry owner who hated all humans in sight and smoked and drinked with his buddies outside our kitchen until all hours of the night...'Hi there scary laundry man, can I have some quarters please?" (silence, glares and spewing hatred) There also was this crazy Sri Lankin woman who would yell at her hyper 3 year old for climbing into the machines. It closed about six months ago and is now being renovated to become a pizza pub or something. Although I miss the convenience of it, I don't miss its hellish atmosphere. Now I go down two big blocks to the sudsy Clean Rite, a large bright place that despite its distance I semi enjoy going to. There's always a secret dread inside when I see my large laundry bag next to my dresser calling to me "Its lauuuundry day, Laundry Thadd". But I know at least Clean Rite is bareable. And there's a snack machine. As I continue apartment dwelling I know laundromat will always have to be visited, but I miss the days of a washer and dryer in the house. How blessed we were as a family to have this luxury. But for some reason, Laundromats here seem to remain a source of punishment for some long lost karmic debt. If only Mom never took me downstairs at 11, perhaps she would to this day still be folding my long johns.


In honor of Laundromats all around the world here are some recent signs I've seen blaring out laundromat windows. Laundromats. Heaven or Hell? You decide:

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Okay so I'm writing this blog from my favorite coffee shop here in Brooklyn. (www.mycafesutra.com) . I go here often for my fav cup o' joe or iced caramel haff caff lattes. It's a little piece of heaven for me so peaceful and very Brooklyn-ey of me. Currently I am sipping on whats called a Good Karma Latte. Mmmmmm coffee.

My friend Glennis always tells me to write in my blog as I speak in real life so here I go peeps. I couldn't help but wonder, are all…..oh wait that's Carrie Bradshaw. Well then on with the showoooo...

So I finished THE ROSE PROJECT Off B'way last week. And if my heart had wings, it has flown what a great experience. It was the story of Tokyo Rose, which explored the mythology surrounding her in the 40's and the label servicemen used for women who broadcast propaganda during the war in the 1940's. It was absolutely fascinating tale of a womans life. The best part was our director Sonoko, such a gracious, gregarious and fun Japanese women who pronounced my name FADD and was completely engaged in the subject matter and inspired all of us around her. I didn't realize how much I missed performing on stage, since it's been awhile. I am always at odds with my performing career should I be doing this, should I not? But in so many intangible ways it always calls me back. I should be doing this and be at the top of my field. And this coming at my job job which feels like so much drudgery and personality clashes lately. I cannot be myself fully. But all in good time, everything in my life always seems to come at a later pace than my heart wants, it seems. I just know God has given me too much talent to waste and at least not use for the purpose of storytelling and understanding periodically.

Coming home after vacation was cathartic. It was nice to be home with the family. But how great it was to come back home to New York, this is where I belong and feel meant to be since coming here 5 years ago now. I was thrilled sitting on the subway coming back home. Who would have ever thought I'd love New York so much?

Okay so here are some random things I'm thinking of blogging about:
*Lone gloves or socks on the street
*Female stage managers
*Subway etiquette (oh lord I've lamented on this forever maybe not)
*You're the one that I want TV show
*Barack Obama

Okay maybe not....thoughts?

Don't forget to check out the 'Shop" section for Logo online (www.logoonline.com). It's MTV's new gay and lesbian network, and I'm the guy posing their online apparel. My Mom told me I looked handsome so there. Woop!

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