Thursday, September 06, 2007

Oh yah yu betcha…,

I have just returned from Nashville last weekend and boy was it fun to be in the land of Dolly and Amy Grant. A bit too conservative for me to live permanently but I enjoyed visiting there for sure. In July I visited my Family which was a fulfilling visit back home to the land of ohs and ahs and cheeky cheese of delightful Appleton Wisconsin. I’m not originally from Wisconsin mind you my Mom moved up there to be close to my sisters family years ago. But this is where I go home now to see my family. With the Midwestern drawl of my ae vowel though I am often accused of being from Wisconsin but not true friends. Getting there is not that easy really it requires planes trains and automobiles galore. I have to take a train or cab to the airport, fly into Milwaukee then find my way up to Appleton Wisconsin from there. But needless to say, it’s worth it if you live moment to moment and enjoy the ride (sort of a metaphor for life right?).

We surprised my Mom this time she didn’t know I was coming in for a visit. My sister and I were in cahoots for weeks planning and my sister did an excellent job of keeping it hush hush. It came off without a hitch as Mom pretty much stared at me like she didn’t know who I was in shock. There is such a difference between New York and the Midwest. The guy at starbucks there gave my Mom a free iced tea just because she had a nice smile. Amazing. THIS is what I miss about the Midwest. I love the energy and pulse of my life in new york but I sure miss some of the simpler pleasures too like car rides, quiet lawn talks and chain restaurants. I’m probably repeating some of my blog entries here but it resurfaces for me. We all went to a water park and man was that fun. Um, I fell asleep in the chair outside which definitely wouldn’t happen anywhere near the big apple. I also completely abandoned my exercise and eating habits which was a most beautiful release. Hello bratwurst, pizza, ice cream, mac and cheese, suddenly salad, potatoe chips and Moms breakfast! Hey what else are vacations for?My friend Amber came up to see me that saturday (complete with us sneaking into a Radisson hotel to soak our feet in the pool) and my friends Amy and Nick on Monday (to eat the one final horrible meal at Perkins) and my trip home was complete.

Something that’s been on my mind lately is the process of people coming and going in your life. Two quotes come to mind, one from the musical WICKED;

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives, for a reason. Bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return. Well I don’t know if I believe that’s true but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.”

The other is the basic people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Often if it is a reason, they or you will say something to end the relationship and that’s it. As I’m getting older, I’ve started to embrace this process rather than fight it. How have I contributed to these seasonal relationships? Is it their fault? Is it mine? What was I looking for in that relationship that I cant give myself? There have been times in the past where the finger of blame was pointed accusingly (myself being guilty too) but what I’m discovering is as you get stronger in self acceptance, people who may not be good for you fall away. And new people come in their place if you embrace their arrival. And these could have a season too you just don’t know. In some ways, we have no control over it it just is a right of passage in life. Ive always been someone who has a lot of friends and I have been good about pursuing and maintaining those. But I’m discovering this may not be working for me anymore. And that there is comfort being very clear who the people are in my life who have been with me through the good times and the bad times. Meeting new people is great, but there’s something to be said about spreading yourself too thin and knowing who your closest friends are. Friends, lovers, sometimes family….sometimes they have reasons and seasons. And does it serve either of you if you cling to something that is showing you its time to move on? To learn the lesson, to experience the season or to embrace the lifetime of the relationship. Maybe this is being finally an adult and sometimes it really bites....but to continue to wish these people well on THEIR journey and thank them for the lesson....

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