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Monday, December 27, 2004

"I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."

Abraham Maslow

"At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you."

Unknown

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas! This will be my first in New York. Although I am seperated from my family this year, I feel content to be spending it here. I am thinking about a lot of things this Xmas; Christmas should be healing shouldnt it? Why do I feel basically neautral about it? I am select with the love I give. Like when you are working with people who constantly insult others and make fun of others : then, in that process, I lose my sense to love. Meaning my love comes conditionally to people. And it seems it is more than environmental, the theory that people who berate are hurt inside. Sometimes they are just plain nasty inside. Then what? I have a tendency to want to defend against this. How do you remain loving? Peace inside this is my Christmas list.

So what else is going on? Hmm. I lost my cellphone yesterday in Manhattan. You dont realize how 'attached' you are to a cellphone til its gone. Good lesson in 'attachment' I suppose.

I am being pursued by a really unique and cool band, The Boston based Kahootz for their main male vocalist (www.kahootz.net) I am going up to Boston next Thursday to meet with them. We'll see. That would mean relocation to Boston.

I met Keri Russell (Felecity) yesterday!! I'm a huge fan of the late great show. I went to see FAT PIG Off B'way which she is in.

Happy Holidays!
Love (sometimes conditionally :)
Thadd

Monday, December 13, 2004

Back from Atlanta Georgia! It's so plush and architecturally beautiful there, and I like the southern Georgian manners too. The group of people on this tour are out of control, and we spend much of the time laughing, much of it at each other. Not WITH each other mind you but AT hee hee...this tour has also been the tour of celebrities at the airport, namely James Earl Jones, Susan Lucci and this past friday I met RuPaul! Interesting fellow, so quiet out of drag. Although it was 6:00am in the morning.Good times good times. As Christmas approaches, I am reminded of some of my favorite quotes..."Doubt means don't do anything until you DO know."-Oprah, "When people reveal to you who they are, believe them the first time."-Maya Angelou.This ones is resonatin for me oh baby! :)

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

It's Dec 1st and the holiday songs are a playin. In the bus terminal, in stores, on the street. Yesterday, my friend Amber and I tried to go to the tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller. Impossible my friends wowsa. Evidently, fans of the famous shrubbage arrived at 2pm to our 5pm! We had delicious Thai food instead. I showed her my favorite church in Manhattan, the actors chapel. Amber said "Thadd you really utilize all the entire city has to offer." She's right,I suppose. Ever since I've moved here, I wander aimlessly at times and ingest everything New York has to offer. This being in lieu of some times of unemployment :)Nah, I'm getting cast and callbacks so no complaints here. Now I'm having to turn things down, which blows because the heart wants to be performing now. It's now or never. Going out on my second round this weekend for Suave, this time to my hometown yay! I haven't been back in 6 months so I'm really looking forward to it. Ah but the questions remain...and the growth continues....

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Take care of yourself so you have a resevoir to give to other people. I heard this today and it was after a day where I exercised and tried (tried is the key word here) to eat healthier. It's mid November and life is rollin along. Jeez its gotten cold all of sudden, *ahem where was the fall? Had a callback for FOREVER PLAID, and am taking action to ensure I get seen for Fiyero replacement in WICKED. I LOVE that show. BARE A POP OPERA has been particularly inspiring to me as of late, we got free CD's of it at my last 4x meeting. I train this friday for my promotional tour, and I am mailing what and when I can. "Expectations are the greatest source of pain, because others rarely live up to our ideals."- Author Laura Davis.

Monday, November 01, 2004

It's November my Turkey talliers! It's a beautiful day outside I must say. Well, I am hooked up with two promotional corporations here in Manhattan. I did the Jack Morton event last month, and Nov-Dec, I will be touring for Suave through Eventage Events. We'll be in four different cities; Minneapolis, Orlando, Chicago and Seattle. I'm excited I'll get to see my family, and I do like traveling. I went to my second 4x-four artists by artists group tonight, and it is wonderful thus far. They should have the website up soon. If you want more info on this, drop me an email. Sigh* Autonomous and introspective as always, I continue to examine life and it's peaks and valleys. The sheer volume of people in New York hurtles at me the realities that people first think only of themselves often, a 'my way is THE way' outlook, especially in younger years. Those who think first of others are considered weak or pushovers. But this loving approach far surpasses in the love realm the "I cant believe they think that way" theory. Just coming to that understanding that yes I think this way but not everyone does, so be careful that you share that only with those you trust and love, and dont feel the 'ego' driven need to make everyone believe as you do. But, DO speak up against unprovoked malice in others. The most loving thing you can do sometimes is illuminate to a nasty person their nastiness it seems. But, life has no easy answers. My friend Amber gave me a card recently with this lovely message on it:

"Life has a way of stripping away the nonessentials
one birthday at a time
until we're left with our real selves
unashamed before the world
refined by experience
shaped by the things we've learned
and the passions we've pursued
And finally, we know what we know, and we love what we love and we still have
this precious thing called time.
and it's enough.
It's more than enough."

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Saw I HEART HUCKABEES today. Friggin brilliant movie. Was visiting my friend Amber in New Brunswick, NJ which I heart btw. SO comfortable in NJ. Reading this book called SMART ACTORS, FOOLISH CHOICES by Katherine Mayfield which I'm enjoying. Its focal point is the realities of the entertainment biz, and how you need to have a full personal life outside of it with strong personal relationships, and how to still feel validated whether or not you are in a show. I am going to start the actors forum workshop which my friend Jen has organized tomorrow, which I am looking forward to. A way of keeping you on track as an actor through the help of other actors support. And, after just having a great weekend with friends, I feel good in this arena--at peace. Thank you Universe! :)

Friday, October 15, 2004

Today is my birthday weeeeee! I went to an amazing seminar by a company called CAPES COACHING last night. It's an inspirational sort of seminar that inspires actors to get to the next level in their career(www.capesco.com) So much of it is what I have learned in my own life seperate from the acting career, the work I've done on myself spiritually. Much of it was keeping the negative thoughts in check. I am feeling good inside, with occasional bouts buts thats everyones life I think. I'm also excited to report I got a callback for the prestigious Manhattan Theatre Clubs production of SHOCKHEADED PETER. That would be Off-Broadway in the spring. The show is super cool, it's based on Henrik Hoffmans childrens books that were poised to scare the hell out of kids. It's like Edward Scissors Hands meets Goldilocks. :)FRANKENSTEIN THE ROCK OPERA opens Mon and Tues, and so far I'm enjoying myself. Hopefully they will get investors for their show. More later---

Monday, October 04, 2004

I have researched up on Bush and Kerry and I feel armed to vote. I know how they stand on health care to taxes to national security. Now, if my absentee ballot comes here in time I'm set. I got an offer for an Off-Off Broadway show called LOOKING FOR SEX at the Wings Theatre. It's a great part and a good script however, the money sucks and I would be required to be in my underwear. :( Gonna pass on this one. I will be doing the Frankenstein show though, that's Oct 18th and 19th. Ben Folds music has really been speaking to my heart lately. I'm feeling melancholy as I always do in October. It's my favorite time of the year and it is also rid with pontification on life. I am really examining lately how frustrating dealing with insensitive people is at times. I'm sure I am difficult to them too, however concern for other human beings seems to be the foundation/equation they are lacking. Of course, I examine the whys and whatnots of this from their childhood, experiences etc. I get pissed off too geez, but some things are just right or wrong fundamentally. Does this make me Dr. Laura? ;) I guess this is where the deemed alone time is necessary; getting the time to be away from it all to regroup and go back out into the world.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

October is here, my favorite month of the year yeaaa! I am determined to vote. I just printed my absentee ballot from Illinois. I watched the presidential debate Friday.*Sigh. I am feeling as if I dont know enough about each candidate and am relying on what everyone is saying. I want to make an educated decision here. Hmmm. Well, then research online it is. Can I just say that New York seems to be making me harder. Today this older woman and her husband asked me how to get to the World Trade Center in the subway. I tried to explain she would have to transfer and she was brusque and demanding and snapped "I dont want to transfer!". Thadd 5 years ago would have placated and been like well gee do this, try that. I said, "Well good luck!" and whooshed away. See what I'm becoming. I just dont have time for nastiness anymore. Maybe she was having a bad day. But then I guess nastiness isn't the right response to nastiness. Who can figure it all out? Bleaaaaaa.I miss the midwest where excuse me is a common colloquy.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

The movie I did background work for SURVIVING CHRISTMAS starring Ben Afleck and Christina Applegate comes out next month I think. I wonder if you will see me? Ha! I am doing well, I got an equity showcase called FRANKENSTEIN A POP OPERA. It should be fun for the Halloween season (my favorite mind you) AND my Birthday month. The Big 33. I am finishing up the promotional job for Bank of America, I have one day left next week. My lord, the thousands and thousands of people who I talked about the bank to. New York has so many millions of people, it seems things you have to deal with in your daily life is multiplied in speed and intensity. We all come at life thinking it is defined how WE feel. This is sort of ego driven when you think. Its just a given that you will constantly deal with conflict of interest in other peoples agendas. This career is moving along OK, I guess. Man Im tired...Zzzz

Thursday, September 23, 2004

A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.

I have been working a promotional job for Bank of America in Times Square. It is truly exhausting. Well, I didn't get enough sleep either that didn't help. I think I am in denial how many misguided,horrible people there are in New York. I think I was sheltered growing up in the Midwest. On the subway three girls were SCREAMING at each other about to fist each other. Then, at the promotional gig, some street handlers went running when the police came to arrest them and one of them just missed plowing me over. This is good money but is it worth me getting a concussion? And I just don't know about the actors here in New York. . Part of me knows I don't belong in the acting career in many ways. This is not to say there are not wonderful people in this career,you are blessed when you come across them, but so many actors are enourmously selfish with no reverence for others hearts. I'm just feeling so disenchanted with that, why does this happen?

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Yesterday, the subways were flooded from rainfall and had huge delays. It was the worse I've seen since I've been in NY, I was two hours late to work. Oy, New Yorkers. People were pushing and shoving into the crammed cars. SO irritating. At the time however, I was reading Joan Gibsons book LIVING IN PERSPECTIVE. Which lead to these thoughts:

When we look back over our lives we frequently find that events which had seemed disasters at the time have turned out to be blessings in disguise. Left to ourselves, we would have made ill-advised choices, but circumstances have forced us to change direction.

I know my life has had my own percieved 'disasters'. However, from those have come an unwavering strength in my spirit, replacing my youthful naive dreams about life and success with emotional maturity and growth.Success will come in it's time. However, it may be in an entirely different form from our original conception of it.

What else? OH, I've discovered I have a hair-hang up. I tie my self worth to how good my haircut is. If I don't like the way it looks, I feel unattractive and pick at it obsessively. Ha! My name is Thadd and I am a hair-aholic. :)I am working on this...perhaps I should just buzz cut-it and be done with it.

This week thank you: Mom, BankOne, Starbucks, Spencer, Amber, high speed internet and cute doggies on the street givin me lovin' :)


For all the heartaches and the tears,
for gloomy days and fruitless years,
I do give thanks for now I know
These were the things that helped me grow.
Anon.

Friday, September 03, 2004

The city has been under seige with the Rebublican convention this past week, which thankfully ends today. It is amazing all the protest mobs, arrests, and political upheavals that have occured this past week. I can't believe Bush chose here, oy! Yesterday, I came to the theatre early after my temp job, and as I entered the bathroom a huge mouse darted out of the room. I guess "eek" was the word of choice for that. I read that many of the Broadway theatres are infested with creepy crawlies and terrible ventilation problems. Interesting that you work so hard to get there, and the conditions are less than favorable. Galinda the good witch in WICKED sings "Cause getting your dreams, it's strange but it seems a little well complicated,theres a kind of a sorta cost, theres a couple of things get lost, there are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you crossed." Metaphors for life this week..

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

More thoughts by Wayne Dyer. I love that guy:

1.Want more for others than you want for yourself
2.Think from the end (see yourself surrounded by events you want i.e.addiction free, sons yellow car, etc.)
3.Be an appreciator (look for that which is valuable)
4.Stay in rapport with your source energy
5.Understand resistance(every unkind thought, judgment, negative word, fear-all resistance)
6.Contemplate yourself surrounded by the conditions you want
7.Understand the art of allowing (allow-here I am here, here is the source)
8.Practice radical humility (you are not your mind, body, you ARE the source)
9. Be in a state of gratitude
10.Do not resolve a problem by condemning it ( shame your way into higher consciousness, no)
11.Play the match game ( I am matched up with the field of intention)
12. Meditate.

“Happiness is something you decide ahead of time. It’s how I arrange my mind.”

Food for thought. Mmmmm.

Monday, August 30, 2004

The Republican convention is in full swing here. Sunday, as I was going to my show at 44th and 9th, there were helicopters and police men everywhere. I said to a fellow cast member, 'What a price to pay to be an actor Off-Broadway. Ha! I have learned the fine art of discretion lately. Wheels are turning. Two recent books I've read; YOUR LIFE IS WAITING and HOW TO SELL YOURSELF AS AN ACTOR. One speaks of 'feeling' your dreams into reality, the other, the reality of the acting business. Practicality and diligence and action begets daydreaming your acting career will take off. I continue to mail headshots and call and network and scrape. For now it is good. Saw my friend Erin in INFERTILITY THE MUSICAL at the NY Fringe Sat. She was beautimous,and the show was very clever and polished. Saw someone slapping their two year old on the subway. That goes under the hate part of my love/hate relationship with the city. More later...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

OKay WHY can you never hear what the transit worker is saying over the speaker on the subway? New York is the most industrial city in the world and you cannot hear if Hoyt Schermerhorn or 42nd is your next stop. I sit there straining my ears like an 87 year old....eh? WORLDS AWAY opens this week. The rehearsals have...well, due to the fact of incrimination, I will keep silent for now. We have had ads in the New York times and Village Voice. I auditioned for the new Beach boys musical on Broadway this week, and I continue to forge ahead as actor man....at least, I think thats right.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Helloooo is anyone out there? Whats been goin on? Well..things are pretty good. I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge with my friend Amy yesterday, it was super cool. WORLDS AWAY is movin along, although I read in the New York times that BIGFOOT THE MUSICAL the fringe show I had to drop out of, has alot of buzz surrounding it as being the next URINETOWN. :( for me, :) for them. I have a callback for Northern Stages theatre in VT this Thursday, and I am going to start taking some acting classes next month, gotta start training again.Have some Illinois friends coming this Thursday which I am very excited about. Mom has a buyer for her house back home in Illinois. My friend Erin booked a Verizon commercial yeaaaa. We have the same agent. Renee, make me a star!..Whilst still remaining humble and down to earth and approachable..tee hee. FINE!

Saturday, July 31, 2004

I have been house/cat sitting in Hoboken NJ and I love it. I mean I friggin love it here. This is where I will settle in NY...and I will have a car, house, spouse and 2.9 pets. I am not having any deep thoughts today except I am now CERTAIN Subway is against additional meat helpings. There was a policy change, I know it where is the memo I want to see it? I also have surprisingly fell in the love with the new Iced Lattes at Dunkin Donuts ....mmmm they are good, almost dare I say better than Starbucks?! *gasp*! And that my friends, is that.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

We all sing our own song, don't we? Or at least we should. For instance: I am rehearsing WORLDS AWAY, in a role of great wisdom, appeal and presence. There is a reference in the script that he is a 'ruggedly handsome rockstar'. Hmmm..I have worked at places that would never see me in that light. But, I have always known deep down that I am capable of inhabiting any role. I signed on to be an actor years ago, and that means variance and challenge to me. It sounds cliche, but we really need to follow our own hearts, especially artistically. Not everyone will follow you on your journey to becoming your fullest self, and part of life is sifting through people that don't make us feel good inside. For those people in my life who lift me up, and you know who you are, I am unexplainably grateful to you. SO much to be grateful for lately wow.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Negotiations are complete and I have taken WORLD'S AWAY Off-Broadway. I will not be able to do BIGFOOT at the NY Fringe. I love ma' BIGFOOT *sigh*! Karen Mack and staff, thank you for your thoughtful consideration of me, I am terribly dissapointed I will not get to work with you. It does feel good though to be wanted by two shows. I also am finishing up my temp job at BNP Paribas Bank which has been quite the corporate experience lordy. Donald Trump, if you're reading this, buy my Moms house back in Illinois. I was at Broadway Barks last week, and man did the dog-turnal instincts in me surface.. Waaa, I want my own poochie to love! Greyhounds, and Daschunds and Golden retrievers, I love you! :)

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Well I am just blessed this week. I got an offer for an Off-Broadway show today! It's called WORLDS AWAY (worldsawaymusical.com) at the Producers Club Aug-Sept. I can't believe it! For all those times when I have thought of giving up this career, it's moments like these you want to treasure and relish wow!! I am hoping to be able to do both the Fringe Festival and WORLDS AWAY, so for now they just have to negotiate with my agent tomorrow. Ahhh A strange exhilaration! More later...

Friday, July 09, 2004

I have been in corporate America for the last week. Interesting to be back in this environment. I dont mind the 9-5 hours as much as I find that the people are cold and impersonal in business, especially financial organizations. You take for granted the open sensitive nature of entertainment folk. Callbacks have been going well. WHY do I need to tell the consumate truth in all situations? I really feel life is too short for pretense you know? Bypass certain social coo's that people use and aim for the truth. Not everyone will like this of course, but at least you are authentic. You could be dead tomorrow! This week I thank gratefully: Mom for her strength, Julie for laughs, Wall Street Services for work, Alex for the discoveries, Amber for the Thai-talk and Starbucks for my salvation...Seacrest---out.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Happy 4th weekend from the self-proclaimed Starbucks addict! I was telling my Mom the other day that I am the fullest version of myself in New York, as if all that I have experienced in my life culminated to this moment, in preparation for New York. I just feel more, and I am more compassionate, aware and alive. SO much to learn from looking and seeing without judgement. Next week, I start a temp position at a Fringe bank on 51st and 7th. I really like my temp services. Okay, I just said no judgement, however has anyone else noticed that Subway (the sandwich shop) has slammed its corporate-Hitler fist down on portion sizes and such lately? And can the workers there be any more miserable? "No, no its fine I wanted those hot peppers afterall *cough* *ahem* Even though I said no...no no. It's not YOU, it's ME.":)

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

*Sniff* This summer may hold bad allergies for me, I feel like a racoon is sitting on my nose. Got called in for the New York Fringe Festival for BELIEVE IN ME. A BIGFOOT MUSICAL.I love it! My 11 year old niece is going to flip if I get that, I've teased her about Big Foot since she was little. And dont call me crazy, but I swore I saw him in my window when I was 7. I have some more auditions coming up, and some interviews for artistic positions for theatres, as well as temp positions from my now three (count em) temp agents. Called my agent to get an audition for WICKED and its a no go, they are not using agents for this call. I do have a final callback for WORLDS AWAY next Thursday. This is being an actor folks..up in da' air.Laminate it. :)

Saturday, June 26, 2004

I love New York in the summer! So much wonderful energy and spirit. Today I had an audition for a new Off-Broadway show called WORLDS AWAY (Worldsawaymusical.com). It went well, they kept me in there for 5 minutes which is a good sign. After, I met up with my married friends Cindy and Michael who were in town for business. We had a great time, perusing Soho, walking down by the Hudson River. I am really in a content place right now where I am just taking it day by day with this crazy acting career. Ah the 'Disney-fication' of Broadway Theatre, where do I fit in? I would just be happy to work once a year in a challenging and artistically fulfilling show. The grind is the grind I suppose. I am actually intriqued at the moment with possibly getting my Masters degree or having a business career in Manhattan. My temp agent had gotten me a job at Ralph Lauren that I couldnt take due to an audition. What was I thinking?! I can see me now in $5000 dollar suits fetching memos for Mr. Lauren. "Yes sir, I'm right on top of that Mr. Lauren!"--I can dream can't I? :)

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Have you all heard of a book called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS? It's based on ancient Toltec wisdom, and offers a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom and happiness. It says:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in truth and love.
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well-rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Isn't that interesting? Hmmm. Lots to do career wise this week. More later--

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Summer is officially here, and with it, bumble bees, air conditioning and claritin pills. Things have been melancholy. I have been taking road trips and trying Yoga and I continue to jog and the occasional treadmill frisk. I've been on some dates under fascinating circumstances. Fun.(you'll have to call for details on that ;) Just finished reading Olympia Dukakis's auto biography ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW, I loved it, even academy award winning actors have it rough being an actor in New York. Things are in transition now..keeping focused on positivity and action..Perseverance.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

May is coming to a close friends. So what's been happening? Well, I have had two auditions as of late, one for THE LAST FIVE YEARS at Skylight Opera Theatre and SUNSET BOULEVARD at Marriotts Lincolnshire. MACGREGOR is being postponed so I will not be in Cincinatti next month as anticipated--so here I am. I did get a review at the Broadway Palm Theatre in FL but I decided against that, so now I am in the dreaded actors between time--"The actor must become comfortable with the uncomfortable."-Acting Professionally book.yes yes..finally, for those of you close to me who knew how much I hated my witch mole on my left hand-- I am happy to report it was removed by a wonderful doctor last Friday with only four stitches! Goodbye Mr. Mole. For now I just look like Jesus with my stigmata wound...*sigh*

Sunday, May 02, 2004

I have been inspired today by two ministers of the world. Wayne Dyer, who I have been following since 1999, has a special on PBS which is so wonderful. In it, he speaks of your 'intentions' in your thoughts, and how you see yourself surrounded by events you want manifested in your life, and how we need to stay in rapport with our source of energy..appreciating and loving. In the same day, I also tuned into my favorite Christian Pastor, Joel Osteen from the Lakewood Church in Texas speaking of the power of our words, and how we should speak as if God has already manifested what we want in our lives. I was truly inspired, I have typed it up in my journal and put it in my nightly prayers (minus the PJ's!;) What other way is there to live life I ask?Wow, what a goal to strive for. I DO falter,yes. But I sure as heck am gonna try!

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Joseph has closed! :( we are all terribly sad, I cried like a baby afterwards like I was in High School again. How incredibly blessed was I with the amount of people that came out to see me? To the cast and crew, I adored working with each and every one of you, this was a very special cast and experience, and I shall miss it. I have a some great new photos on my website of the show, check it out. I am going to Chicago Thursday to see some friends in Parade, and I have been rereading THE MASTERY OF LOVE by Don Miguel Ruiz and WICKED by Gregory Maguire (how's that for juxtaposed reading? ;)

Okay WHAT is up with American Idol y'all? I have missed months of it and am just now tuning in. Where are the Kelly Clarksons and the Clay's? It's a sad day in America folks---*sniff*

Thursday, April 08, 2004

The Passion of the Christ is stirrin up lots of talk isn't it? I was dwelling the other night that our 'interest' in Christ's crucifixion seems to be exploited as of late by the local churches and the 20/20 type TV programs. Somewhat cashing in on the publics peaked interest lately. AND how amazing that Christ's legacy still resonates thousands of years later, how he is a HUGE part of our world. Christ and Buddha and Gandhi and Mother Teresa, all people who have walked the earth illuminating WHY we are here..to love. Forgive my granola crunchy moment there as the week unwinds my friends. SO much is going on now, my mind is spinning. Even more important to stay focused on the blessings and the feelings and the life....*Ahhhhh :)

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Picture it: The sunless Hollywood tan spray. It's like a carwash ya'll only more 2050. You stand in a booth naked, and it tells you what to do. Turn around. Lift your arms. Hold your breath. Voila: Bain de Soliel brown. Joseph is a delight to perform. I do find I have to constantly watch the health of my voice; little speaking on two show days, steaming. Tina Turner I am not, wish I had chords of steel, I seem to be whim to their moods. Today we have a put in for two of our understudies, and we have a TV commercial and newspaper ad's out. I am trying to plan when to go to Cincinnati for MACGREGOR. I like being an actor, you sit at home and rest and then evenings you are on the stage like Peter Fonda.Nrrgh!

Sunday, March 28, 2004

I'm getting such wonderful responses for JOSEPH, which officially opened this weekend. Should have some photos on my site soon. What has been particular interest to me is the Bible verses concerning Joseph. This is where some real historical insights to the 'show' character have surfaced. I'm reading a book called HOW TO STOP ACTING by Harold Guskin, and it's very enlightening and helpful presently. My Mom's house is up for sale, and her open houses are going incredibly well. Our family is so pleased this new phase of Mom's life is beginning. For all of us, in many ways. More later...

Thursday, March 11, 2004

What would we do without the healing effects of music? It is an elixir for the soul. I have been listening to my favorite tunes this morning, from pop to neo soul to country. I also heard LOVES DIVINE by Seal today and it made me think of what love is. At the end of the video, there is an older mixed race homeless couple asleep on the street. Or I remember a lyric in a song about a spouse bathing the other spouses ailing mother. THAT is love. Pure acceptance and support with no conditions. 'Romantic' love is real yes...but it is not as profound, lasting and transcending.

Monday, March 08, 2004

India Arie sings in BACK TO THE MIDDLE "if you let your fears keep you from flying you will never reach your heights"...There are people who want to keep you in their contained box of what you are, when really WE define who we are. JOSEPH is going well, I am thrilled and honored to be playing this role, so much to learn from. The mind has a tendency to look back in the past, and there is only living in the moment and leaning toward brightness in the future. With the heart. Life is in motion at the moment...faith, courage and wisdom.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

I am really blessed right now. JOSEPH rehearsals started yesterday and it is a warm, wonderful group of professionals, and an efficiently run theatre. I still can't believe I'm the lead...I keep wondering when they are going to say "oh we made a mistake, you're fired!" :) Everything seems to be falling into place..I feel like I have a real career at the moment, and I feel great. You have to take life with the good and the bad, and it feels good to be in the 'good' mode presently...I have been with the bad times yes and I am sure there will be more..it seems this is life's process..ebb and flow.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Well! I had a chance meeting w/ Eric Nies of MTV REAL WORLD fame yesterday at the Soho Barnes & Noble. I asked him about his dog Bergner in his puppy satch. Funny. I also visited The Apple store, oh gordy was it amazing in there! Ipod's and laptops and gadgets..made me want to abandon my acting career and become a dot commer. I was accosted by a crazy woman on the bus today anddd..I leave NY Monday on a jet plane.:( I shall be back though...and heads will roll!;)

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Two thoughts today: If you are having the quintessential 'bad day' in Manhattan, have you noticed it seems to domino out? That particular day, it seems everyone is stressed, and you cry out 'get me out of here! When it is magical and alive you feel that too. Ah NYC it's a mystery. Second: Do you ever feel like people are living in their own parallel universes, and have no understanding of your thoughts? As if we are all separate species. "I feel this way..." and the person has no idea what you are talking about. Hmmm. I got my proofs back from my new headshots and they're wicked good....getting headshots is bizarro. What are all those photos of me staring back at MEee? ;)

Sunday, February 22, 2004

It's Sunday the drum-day. I am battling this ever-lamenting cold I've had since Thursday. I had a busy weekend. MAYA workshopped on Friday and I had my headshots taken yesterday which went well. I am amazed at how when you are sick, it puts the blessings you DO have in perspective. Something like the gift of a singing voice...as if a power from the great beyond says "cherish this gift, it can be taken away." Hmmm. I have tons of things to do this week before going to IL for JOSEPH. To quote Mary Chapin Carpenter in her TIME, LOVE AND SEX CD, "There's nothing you can do just enjoy the view be glad you made it this far."...thank you Mary.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

I am doing a workshop called MAYA here in New York Feb 20th. There are Mp3's on www.lunch-pail.com of our rehearsals, my song is called SECRET HIDEWAY. I auditioned for AVENUE Q on Broadway Friday and I also am up for a workshop in Cincinatti, OH this summer. That would be great to have a gig lined up after JOSEPH. I saw AMERICAN SPLENDOR last night it is an incredibly unique and interesting movie I loved it. It's been great spending time with friends the last couple of days. I remain introspective, whimsical and in a New York state o' mind.;)

Thursday, February 12, 2004

My meeting with my agent went great yesterday. She wants to get me seen for any roles that are John Lithgows son she thinks I look like him. Go figure...my friend Janna is leaving tommorrow for six months on a cruise. :( I shall miss her however I may be able to sublet her awesome apartment in Park Slope Brooklyn!I am so pleased I am here in New York, it seems the right choice for me. More later...