Saturday, October 06, 2007

Last Sunday I went with my peeps Brian, Kim and Erin to their friend place near Weehawken New Jersey.She is this sort of cute, small Vietnamese woman with an amazing condo overlooking Manhattan and I’m not kidding when I say I had the most amazing meal I have ever eaten. A sort of blend of chicken curry’s and red sauce shrimps and salads with a unique dressing over them. Better than any restaurant I have ever eaten at. I guess a couple of her recipes have been published and that is no surprise to me because I ate my weight in a small Vietnamese country there of all the delicious foods she laid out. Thank you God!

I also attended the wedding of my delightful friend Chris Kale Jones this past week, here’s a photo. Hes Frankie Vallie on the JERSEY BOYS tour til Jan go see him.

Been talking with some friends how a blog about the acting types I encounter at auditions is long overdue. For those of you not in the biz, the Equity open calls in New York are quite the show in and of themselves. Why hasn’t anyone written a show about this yet have they?(Chorus Line?) I may offend, and please forgive me if I do, but in the spirit of actory authenticity here are a few standouts:

1)Scary monitor person who is starved for attention to be onstage and is pretty much performing a one man/one woman show the entire time (Monitors are union members who oversee the auditions FYI)

2)20 something girl with full stage pancake makeup, fake eyelashes, rollered hair and an unrelenting desire to looking at herself constantly in any available mirror within eye shot. She often is making a “THRRRRRRRRRRRP’ lip warm up sound and asking whoever is next to her what they are singing, what voice type they are, who is their agent, what shows they have been in and what they think of LEGALLY BLONDE the musical.

3)Gay chorus dancer boy who has many of the 20 something girl traits listed above. His age can fall into higher or lower brackets however and can sometimes (though not always) have more of a nasal ping and Americas next top model walk.

4)Pompous theatre man (usually married) who is about 7 feet tall, business man haircut, wears penny loafers, cracks witty comments, talks shop with the fella’s and has played Emile in South Pacific, And any and all roles from all of Tennessee Williams plays. Mostly straight but can also fall into the category of closeted gay who thinks no one has figured that out yet. From Alabama or Florida.

5)Deep sullen quiet method actor type. Male or female. In full concentration mode of whatever sides or music or monologue they are about to zealously present. Often chattering out loud to no one, reciting their art and wearing sort of black turtleneck-y churchy buttoned up dark colored layers. Often will swear out loud if they have unfortunately missed when their name was called by the monitor. Something is deeply troubled about them, and they are looking to the vastly stable acting profession to give them healing they need from childhood.

6)Mother earth theatre woman. Late 50’s and above. Instantly calms the room as she enters peripatetically. She smiles at everyone, and you find yourself clamoring to connect with her so she can teach you her wise ways, and how the hell to last and stay sane in this crazy profession. Dramatic but no hint of pretension. Cast often as Mary Poppins or the grandmother in the tree types. Common names include Annie, Fran or Mary.

7)Opera singer wanna be musical theatre performer who sings I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM or AVE MARIA with enough breath support to blow over the manger.

8)Crazy 40 something woman with a headshot from 1980. Still coming to open calls, still asking where and when the show is, who’s directing, WHY the washrooms are not close by. She will then start knitting or playing cards and showing photos of her dog Fifi and lamenting how many shows she has done.

9)Sweet friendly ingĂ©nue type. Voted most popular in high school and not a shred of pretension in her body. Genuinely interested in your life, welfare outside of what show youre in. She is prepared, clean ironed dress and soft natural hair and makeup. 20’s-30’s. Can be raised by psychologist or doctor parents and asks you open ended questions about yourself. Smells like expensive perfume and wears character shoes and sings like a sista'.

And finally the worse, the most scandalous of all these people- the one you wouldn’t invite home to mother if someone paid you or offer your leftover twinkie to; bitter ball change burnt out actor singer (male, 30 something), has black framed glasses, paid his dues singing in grandmas basement, thinks he’s above it all, writes fervently in his blog and is oh so tired of all the other types…but pays them homage in journalistic fashion as only he can do.


"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."

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