As some of you may or may not know I just spent the last two weeks as a grand juror. Suffice to say it was not enjoyable. About ten years ago I served on a trial jury for like two days, and found that experience incredibly insightful. When I was first picked for this two weeks ago I was so upset, acquiescing to the fact that I’d be removed from work, my life etc for two long weeks. The wardens told us be glad it was only two weeks that most grand jury’s can go on for months. I left defeated, called my HR manager at work and begrudgingly showed up at supreme court Monday for my first of what would be two weeks of judicial yuckiness.
For those of you who don’t know a GRAND Jury is not a trial jury ala Amy Buttofuco or OJ Simpson. A trial jury is one that decides someone’s guilt or innocence. A Grand jury is prior to that and decides whether to INDICT someone based on legally sufficient evidence that a crime was in fact committed and then move it forward. Grand Jury’s (23 people, 12 to indict) hear case after case and are not used much anymore in most states but ironically New York and my home state of Illinois still use them. If any of you get called in for grand jury call me immediately for advice. Preferably show up in a bikini, slightly deranged, put a beach towel down in the court room and pretend to be sunbathing. Go for certifiably insane instead of rational and speaks English as I did.
Legally I cannot talk about any of the cases that the district attorneys presented. But there were some serious ones involved and I had a hard time getting through some. As a rule I don’t watch the news, read the papers too much. I don’t want to know all the crimes being committed I feel it adds to an anxious state of mind. I want to know of the wonderful things being done in the world. Energy begets energy I feel and I want to focus on the good.
Most of the cases were monotonous torturously long legal terms, monotonely droned by the lawyers. I literally almost fell asleep a couple of times particularly with some who needed a lesson in theatre performance basics; volume, articulation, presentation that strives to be more exciting than a box of hair. We nicknamed many of them from ‘Punky Brewster’ to ‘Small Wonder’ to ‘Mutt & Jeff. I’m thinking I may start my own crash directing school for beginning D.A.’s in these concepts. Side job anyone?
Although I am hoping I never serve again, I did learn a lot these past couple of weeks; I learned my memory is going and it may be time to strengthen the ole ginkgo biloba brain cells. I learned that I am a good moral person who was meant to be there & weigh in my vote with the open heart I possess. I learned a huge lesson in patience with moronic fellow jurors who put their feet up on the stands and belittled the rest of us. I learned some lawyers are hotties. I learned the law is in place for a reason and I can’t help but respect it, despite the fact that it doesn’t always reflect true spiritual justice. I learned In God we trust and in our own hearts we trust. Not too shabby I'd say.Here’s to another 10 years of non civic duty but always...to personal growth