Sunday, August 13, 2006

Rewrite your script.

So...let it be heard throughout the land. I saw Meryl Streep in MOTHER COURAGE last night in Shakespeare in the Park by the Public Theatre. I don't even know if I can find the words to articulate how amazing she was....subtle, powerful and open. Such a nuanced and beautiful performer and woman. So great to see her up close like that! I would thoroughly recommend going to see this, for the overall experience too. We were in line at 5:30am that morning and had a blast waiting for 7 hours, on a blanket, in Central Park, eating, telling jokes, napping, the people. We met a psychiatrist and his son on one side, and Beano the singing Daschund on the other, a Regis and Kelly demi-celebrity. I'm not kidding, Beano and I enjoyed our own personal renditions of HAPPY BIRTHDAY and Christina Aguilera's GENIE IN A BOTTLE throughout the day. :) Only in New York can you see Meryl Streep and Beano the singing dog all for free. I love New York! (talk to me in a week).

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ‘the script we heard as a child’. I know I’ve heard this from Oprah to self help books, but this has hit me hard lately. Some profound analysis. I was talking on the phone with my Mom recently, and I realized how much I still want her attention and support. It’s like I will it to happen, she being the most influential and profound figure from my childhood. Do I carry this over into my adult relationships? What lies did I hear as a child? What were the lies you were told as a child that you now still believe is true? I mean really sit down with this one and think. We believe a lot of junk that is most likely not true and we're kind of floating about in our adult lives making decisions based on this in our careers, relationships, etc. The question is, what does God tell you about you? The trouble is, so often we can’t hear, can't distinguish what is our own instincts and what is the quiet whisper of something grander. Or sometimes the loud CLUNK over the head that wakes you up. To be really honest here, there are many times I don’t even believe in God as well. But I guess everyone has this time. There have been moments in my life where I know something bigger than me is present and at work. And times I feel hopeless, it's up and down. Missed accidents, interactions with people on the street or quiet reflection on a lakeshore. I like when I can stay in a place of gratefulness.... thats when life is splendid. Today, while having lunch with friends, my friend Maritza told us how her father has always preached "Keep God in the picture" and “love the people that are hard to love.” So extending this love is something we have to try. I find myself the most ‘judgmental’ here than anywhere else. It’s the sheer amount of people I guess. Maybe one of the reasons New York is difficult to find love, as people are always looking around the corner to find what they think is better instead of loving the one they're with. I just want to continue to try and grow, fall and get up, love, keep my priorities in order and remain grateful for life and the blessings already present.

Wanted to end with some favorite quotes I’ve read recently. I find them so inspirational, one from THE woman, my hero, Meryl :)

“We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss-we want more and more and then more of it. But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless; I am living…”
Marie Howe, from What the Living Do

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work, and ask the most and best of everybody else too. Don’t let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth--don’t let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency." –Meryl Streep

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