I have been house/cat sitting in Hoboken NJ and I love it. I mean I friggin love it here. This is where I will settle in NY...and I will have a car, house, spouse and 2.9 pets. I am not having any deep thoughts today except I am now CERTAIN Subway is against additional meat helpings. There was a policy change, I know it where is the memo I want to see it? I also have surprisingly fell in the love with the new Iced Lattes at Dunkin Donuts ....mmmm they are good, almost dare I say better than Starbucks?! *gasp*! And that my friends, is that.

We all sing our own song, don't we? Or at least we should. For instance: I am rehearsing WORLDS AWAY, in a role of great wisdom, appeal and presence. There is a reference in the script that he is a 'ruggedly handsome rockstar'. Hmmm..I have worked at places that would never see me in that light. But, I have always known deep down that I am capable of inhabiting any role. I signed on to be an actor years ago, and that means variance and challenge to me. It sounds cliche, but we really need to follow our own hearts, especially artistically. Not everyone will follow you on your journey to becoming your fullest self, and part of life is sifting through people that don't make us feel good inside. For those people in my life who lift me up, and you know who you are, I am unexplainably grateful to you. SO much to be grateful for lately wow.

Negotiations are complete and I have taken WORLD'S AWAY Off-Broadway. I will not be able to do BIGFOOT at the NY Fringe. I love ma' BIGFOOT *sigh*! Karen Mack and staff, thank you for your thoughtful consideration of me, I am terribly dissapointed I will not get to work with you. It does feel good though to be wanted by two shows. I also am finishing up my temp job at BNP Paribas Bank which has been quite the corporate experience lordy. Donald Trump, if you're reading this, buy my Moms house back in Illinois. I was at Broadway Barks last week, and man did the dog-turnal instincts in me surface.. Waaa, I want my own poochie to love! Greyhounds, and Daschunds and Golden retrievers, I love you! :)

Well I am just blessed this week. I got an offer for an Off-Broadway show today! It's called WORLDS AWAY (worldsawaymusical.com) at the Producers Club Aug-Sept. I can't believe it! For all those times when I have thought of giving up this career, it's moments like these you want to treasure and relish wow!! I am hoping to be able to do both the Fringe Festival and WORLDS AWAY, so for now they just have to negotiate with my agent tomorrow. Ahhh A strange exhilaration! More later...

I have been in corporate America for the last week. Interesting to be back in this environment. I dont mind the 9-5 hours as much as I find that the people are cold and impersonal in business, especially financial organizations. You take for granted the open sensitive nature of entertainment folk. Callbacks have been going well. WHY do I need to tell the consumate truth in all situations? I really feel life is too short for pretense you know? Bypass certain social coo's that people use and aim for the truth. Not everyone will like this of course, but at least you are authentic. You could be dead tomorrow! This week I thank gratefully: Mom for her strength, Julie for laughs, Wall Street Services for work, Alex for the discoveries, Amber for the Thai-talk and Starbucks for my salvation...Seacrest---out.

Happy 4th weekend from the self-proclaimed Starbucks addict! I was telling my Mom the other day that I am the fullest version of myself in New York, as if all that I have experienced in my life culminated to this moment, in preparation for New York. I just feel more, and I am more compassionate, aware and alive. SO much to learn from looking and seeing without judgement. Next week, I start a temp position at a Fringe bank on 51st and 7th. I really like my temp services. Okay, I just said no judgement, however has anyone else noticed that Subway (the sandwich shop) has slammed its corporate-Hitler fist down on portion sizes and such lately? And can the workers there be any more miserable? "No, no its fine I wanted those hot peppers afterall *cough* *ahem* Even though I said no...no no. It's not YOU, it's ME.":)

*Sniff* This summer may hold bad allergies for me, I feel like a racoon is sitting on my nose. Got called in for the New York Fringe Festival for BELIEVE IN ME. A BIGFOOT MUSICAL.I love it! My 11 year old niece is going to flip if I get that, I've teased her about Big Foot since she was little. And dont call me crazy, but I swore I saw him in my window when I was 7. I have some more auditions coming up, and some interviews for artistic positions for theatres, as well as temp positions from my now three (count em) temp agents. Called my agent to get an audition for WICKED and its a no go, they are not using agents for this call. I do have a final callback for WORLDS AWAY next Thursday. This is being an actor folks..up in da' air.Laminate it. :)

I love New York in the summer! So much wonderful energy and spirit. Today I had an audition for a new Off-Broadway show called WORLDS AWAY (Worldsawaymusical.com). It went well, they kept me in there for 5 minutes which is a good sign. After, I met up with my married friends Cindy and Michael who were in town for business. We had a great time, perusing Soho, walking down by the Hudson River. I am really in a content place right now where I am just taking it day by day with this crazy acting career. Ah the 'Disney-fication' of Broadway Theatre, where do I fit in? I would just be happy to work once a year in a challenging and artistically fulfilling show. The grind is the grind I suppose. I am actually intriqued at the moment with possibly getting my Masters degree or having a business career in Manhattan. My temp agent had gotten me a job at Ralph Lauren that I couldnt take due to an audition. What was I thinking?! I can see me now in $5000 dollar suits fetching memos for Mr. Lauren. "Yes sir, I'm right on top of that Mr. Lauren!"--I can dream can't I? :)

Have you all heard of a book called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS? It's based on ancient Toltec wisdom, and offers a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom and happiness. It says:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in truth and love.
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well-rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Isn't that interesting? Hmmm. Lots to do career wise this week. More later--

Summer is officially here, and with it, bumble bees, air conditioning and claritin pills. Things have been melancholy. I have been taking road trips and trying Yoga and I continue to jog and the occasional treadmill frisk. I've been on some dates under fascinating circumstances. Fun.(you'll have to call for details on that ;) Just finished reading Olympia Dukakis's auto biography ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW, I loved it, even academy award winning actors have it rough being an actor in New York. Things are in transition now..keeping focused on positivity and action..Perseverance.

May is coming to a close friends. So what's been happening? Well, I have had two auditions as of late, one for THE LAST FIVE YEARS at Skylight Opera Theatre and SUNSET BOULEVARD at Marriotts Lincolnshire. MACGREGOR is being postponed so I will not be in Cincinatti next month as anticipated--so here I am. I did get a review at the Broadway Palm Theatre in FL but I decided against that, so now I am in the dreaded actors between time--"The actor must become comfortable with the uncomfortable."-Acting Professionally book.yes yes..finally, for those of you close to me who knew how much I hated my witch mole on my left hand-- I am happy to report it was removed by a wonderful doctor last Friday with only four stitches! Goodbye Mr. Mole. For now I just look like Jesus with my stigmata wound...*sigh*

I have been inspired today by two ministers of the world. Wayne Dyer, who I have been following since 1999, has a special on PBS which is so wonderful. In it, he speaks of your 'intentions' in your thoughts, and how you see yourself surrounded by events you want manifested in your life, and how we need to stay in rapport with our source of energy..appreciating and loving. In the same day, I also tuned into my favorite Christian Pastor, Joel Osteen from the Lakewood Church in Texas speaking of the power of our words, and how we should speak as if God has already manifested what we want in our lives. I was truly inspired, I have typed it up in my journal and put it in my nightly prayers (minus the PJ's!;) What other way is there to live life I ask?Wow, what a goal to strive for. I DO falter,yes. But I sure as heck am gonna try!

Joseph has closed! :( we are all terribly sad, I cried like a baby afterwards like I was in High School again. How incredibly blessed was I with the amount of people that came out to see me? To the cast and crew, I adored working with each and every one of you, this was a very special cast and experience, and I shall miss it. I have a some great new photos on my website of the show, check it out. I am going to Chicago Thursday to see some friends in Parade, and I have been rereading THE MASTERY OF LOVE by Don Miguel Ruiz and WICKED by Gregory Maguire (how's that for juxtaposed reading? ;)

Okay WHAT is up with American Idol y'all? I have missed months of it and am just now tuning in. Where are the Kelly Clarksons and the Clay's? It's a sad day in America folks---*sniff*

The Passion of the Christ is stirrin up lots of talk isn't it? I was dwelling the other night that our 'interest' in Christ's crucifixion seems to be exploited as of late by the local churches and the 20/20 type TV programs. Somewhat cashing in on the publics peaked interest lately. AND how amazing that Christ's legacy still resonates thousands of years later, how he is a HUGE part of our world. Christ and Buddha and Gandhi and Mother Teresa, all people who have walked the earth illuminating WHY we are here..to love. Forgive my granola crunchy moment there as the week unwinds my friends. SO much is going on now, my mind is spinning. Even more important to stay focused on the blessings and the feelings and the life....*Ahhhhh :)

Picture it: The sunless Hollywood tan spray. It's like a carwash ya'll only more 2050. You stand in a booth naked, and it tells you what to do. Turn around. Lift your arms. Hold your breath. Voila: Bain de Soliel brown. Joseph is a delight to perform. I do find I have to constantly watch the health of my voice; little speaking on two show days, steaming. Tina Turner I am not, wish I had chords of steel, I seem to be whim to their moods. Today we have a put in for two of our understudies, and we have a TV commercial and newspaper ad's out. I am trying to plan when to go to Cincinnati for MACGREGOR. I like being an actor, you sit at home and rest and then evenings you are on the stage like Peter Fonda.Nrrgh!

I'm getting such wonderful responses for JOSEPH, which officially opened this weekend. Should have some photos on my site soon. What has been particular interest to me is the Bible verses concerning Joseph. This is where some real historical insights to the 'show' character have surfaced. I'm reading a book called HOW TO STOP ACTING by Harold Guskin, and it's very enlightening and helpful presently. My Mom's house is up for sale, and her open houses are going incredibly well. Our family is so pleased this new phase of Mom's life is beginning. For all of us, in many ways. More later...

What would we do without the healing effects of music? It is an elixir for the soul. I have been listening to my favorite tunes this morning, from pop to neo soul to country. I also heard LOVES DIVINE by Seal today and it made me think of what love is. At the end of the video, there is an older mixed race homeless couple asleep on the street. Or I remember a lyric in a song about a spouse bathing the other spouses ailing mother. THAT is love. Pure acceptance and support with no conditions. 'Romantic' love is real yes...but it is not as profound, lasting and transcending.

India Arie sings in BACK TO THE MIDDLE "if you let your fears keep you from flying you will never reach your heights"...There are people who want to keep you in their contained box of what you are, when really WE define who we are. JOSEPH is going well, I am thrilled and honored to be playing this role, so much to learn from. The mind has a tendency to look back in the past, and there is only living in the moment and leaning toward brightness in the future. With the heart. Life is in motion at the moment...faith, courage and wisdom.

I am really blessed right now. JOSEPH rehearsals started yesterday and it is a warm, wonderful group of professionals, and an efficiently run theatre. I still can't believe I'm the lead...I keep wondering when they are going to say "oh we made a mistake, you're fired!" :) Everything seems to be falling into place..I feel like I have a real career at the moment, and I feel great. You have to take life with the good and the bad, and it feels good to be in the 'good' mode presently...I have been with the bad times yes and I am sure there will be more..it seems this is life's process..ebb and flow.

Well! I had a chance meeting w/ Eric Nies of MTV REAL WORLD fame yesterday at the Soho Barnes & Noble. I asked him about his dog Bergner in his puppy satch. Funny. I also visited The Apple store, oh gordy was it amazing in there! Ipod's and laptops and gadgets..made me want to abandon my acting career and become a dot commer. I was accosted by a crazy woman on the bus today anddd..I leave NY Monday on a jet plane.:( I shall be back though...and heads will roll!;)